Hope for single ladies

[Sara516]

Re: Hope for single ladies

@parisbynight

See, this is the attitude i don’t understand to be honest. You got that I am complaining, but did you read why? My sister always says i am mean for accepting to marry before her, for using my parent’s money on my wedding when it should have been her turn and much more.

My brother who is younger than her is also engaged. It was a love affair. His fiancée waited 2 years before he could make it official as he wanted to wait for my elder sister to get a risha first. With pressure from the girl family, we had to do their engagement. Now it has been over 2 years and we cannot get them married because of my elder sister disagreement. She keeps on saying our bhabi to be is only 25yrs old so she can wait and she stop being egoistic.

Now it is funny that you mention my fiance’s help, because he did. His best friend’s elder brother lives in the UK for the past 15 years. He was apparently a very decent and modern type of guy and so my fiancé referred to me first. I asked my fiancé to find out more about the guy’s status and job, his residential area and degrees. In the meantime, I mentioned the same It guy to my sister and she refused without knowing any further details. Why? Because she didn’t want any reference from a guy from back home as his acquaintances would also be ‘freshies’ and warned me to ask my fiancé not to interfere. Few months later we went to see the guy when his parents were over from Pakistan. (my father knew his father also and the guy was now engaged/nikkahfied to his cousin from Pakistan). I told my parents not to mention to my sister that it was the same guy that my fiancé had referred as it would make her unwilling to come. And to our surprise, the guy was living in his own flat in a very posh area or West London, he was an IT consultant in PWC and to his luck his wife got a visa within 2 weeks. The guy was a very jolly, modern looking person with very open minded parents. The first thing my sister said as soon as we came out of his house was…’see dad, if you suggest me such guy from back home then I have no problems..but you know all the backwards family only’.

There are many similar examples for such girls..but it’s all a matter of choice! How you choose to lead your life. If you choose to be extremely specific about the person you want to spend the rest of your life, then you should get on happily with ‘life’ , the life that isn’t always a bed of roses especially with our Asians society.

As family members, we don’t take it to heart as much and try to move on. But has the blaming game helped her situation anyhow? No. But on the contrary, she has hurt many people’s feelings with her degrading comments on the numerous rishtas she got: the morons, the uneducated, the losers, the one beneath her, the ugly and the unfit, the gold diggers…etc

We live in a modern world, where anything said to a guy can be said to a girl…and i am sure no girl would like to be rejected only because they have poor degrees, low pay job, backwards parents or aren’t fit. Gone is the time where it was impressive to see a girl with a good career. You’re a doctor, an investment banker? Who cares! You earn a lot? Who cares! Marriage is an emotional relationship..not a professional relationship.

@Aaze

Well said at the bold part.

But I don’t get it. Why can’t your brother get married before your sister? It’s not like he is 18 or something I assume as you mentioned his to-be-wife is 25? Why would your parents/family allow your elder sister to dictate when her younger siblings can get married? If she can’t make a decision about her life, it’s her problem. Those who are ready to make the commitment should do so regardless of the fact that she is eldest.

@parisbynight

fear of her falling into depression again. the day of my brother’s engagement, she was crying non stop. it isnt easy to see a sibling in a deep depression. Moreover, they has been silent tensions between my bhabhi and her since that day as the bahbi felt her so awaited big day was ‘ruined’ by her sadness and she has heard too many bitter comments from my sister in the past few months whenever we tried to fix their wedding date. In order to avoid future clashes, my parents says its best to wait few months and hope for a good rishta iA.

who would have thought my sister, such a confident, smart, highly educated , fit figure and outgoing person would be dealing so badly with relationships.

Well, she doesn’t seem so confident if she’s stopping your brother from getting married.

Meh, she needs to grow up…good luck to your bhabi because shes’ the one who’ll ahve to deal with it (and is in fact already dealing with it)

It’s one thing to go through a rough time, but to rain on a close person’s parade, that too a sibling, that’s just immature…