Just wondering, when people are in a new relationship, what suddenly causes people to think of their ex’s? what makes em so ummm stupid:mad:
I just wonder why people can’t simply forget their past and be happy with your current relationship? Why do some people tend to always reflect back and compare what they used to have?ughhh:mad:
n if u are with ur current partener n u think back to ur ex n say sheesh wat an ass s/he was:rolleyes: … then its all gud though to say.. if s/he was an ass.. its not even worth thinkin bout him/her
Well, past is past. One should start to learn from the past.
You cant simply forget it but u can put it behind urself and see what good things u have now.
I understand how ur feeling. I have been there, actually i go thru that almost everyday…that’s my biggest challenge, to forget the past (my weakness if u like). When i’m alone, sometimes i can’t help but to dwell into the past…sometimes i think about my past, and sometimes his. Keeping in mind everything i have been thru in my relationship with him, i think i’m doing much better…i believe time can help u fade away those memories, as they become more and more distant…but u can never forget them…at least i can’t. My fiance tells me the only way i am gonna forget both of our pasts is to stop thinking about them, full stop…to me, that’s easier said than done…but then i look at him, and i know he has fully moved on and forgot about his ex…i guess it depends on the person, sometimes i think i’m weak in that sense bcos the slightest thing (a song, a shop etc.) anything, can remind me of something bad from my past…and it always amazes him, bcos he just doesn’t get how my mind quickly jumps from one thing to another…everyone tells me i think too much, and i know i do…so maybe that’s the problem Barbie_Girl, we just think about it, and that’s when it bothers us…i know with me, it only depresses me most when i am alone…so i try not to be…i’m just telling u how i feel i know it probably hasn’t helped u much…but at least u know ur not the only one who feels like that
For me it was always hardest on a lonely night, it’s so easy to slip into ur old ways of thinking. But believe me, the more u LET urself think about it, the harder it will be to move on. U have to find wot works for u, for some ppl it’s working more, for others they take on a new hobby…some ppl write, some ppl make new friends…find something that will keep ur mind off of u know who. And when u do have those weak moments then, if u have a new person in ur life, think about ur future together and all the lovely memories u have with him. If u don’t have someone, just remember there is someone out there for u.
And remember that everyone needs time to get over it, so u can vent all u like…but at some point u will have to stop thinking about urself…in fact, the more i paid attention to OTHERS’ problems, the less i thought about myself. For example, u cud try volunteering…or the next time u talk or see ur friends, try to focus on wot is going on in THEIR lives and not think so much about URSELF…sometimes we become so self-indulged and self-concious, and i think the only way u can get out of that thinking is to surround urself with other things…and do something u love…if u love kids, volunteer at a hospital, if u love music i duno play an instrument…if u love to paint, then paint…u get the picture rite…
If wot happened in the past was ur fault or not, just keep in ur mind that u can choose to forgive that person and urself, or u can choose to be miserable. Ur not going to wakeup someday and feel like it’s all over now…u have to make that choice, for urself. Another thing my fiance used to tell me is “wot r u gettin from holding on to this stuff? Nothing, just pain”. He was rite, i was just hangin onto anger and maybe even some guilt. Forgive wot happened, and forgive ur self for making a mistake (if u did) and tell urself that it’s not the end of the world u know…sometimes it’s true wot ppl say laughter is the best medicine…don’t take life so seriously and laugh at urself once in a while…that’s wot i’m working on myself thesedays…the only times u think about it shud be when u say to urself, man i was dumb to do that, but now i’ve learnt from it and i won’t do it again (or wotever it is in ur case).
Erm it’s late here so i duno if i’m making much sense, but basically if u want to stop thinking about UR past…get ur mind off of URSELF and become active in other things, ur family and friends. I wish u the best
ok i dont mind accepting my past, but i HATE comparision, comparision done, or calculating and judging..
why people do it? cuz when u r in a relationship, partnership/friendship/professional, u ALWAYS tend to go back in time and reflect.. mind LIKES comparisions, mind LIKES to give out values/places to certain incidents/people/events in life..and there is nothing wrong about it …
OTHER party must accept it that WHAT WAS your past BEFORE they entered, they have no control over it..but AS LONG AS they are present, you are theirs and they are yours..
Faizy, There is a contradiction in your post. You said you hate comparison and then you say that there is nothing wrong with that?
Though I agree with the later part that there are bound to be comparisons. Human heart is a fragile one and it is nearly impossible to erase stamps of your past.
I also agree with whoever said up there that one should learn from the past. plus KashmiriRaindrops detailed post is a gem :k:
it happened to me barbie, but time heals…the more distant your memories get, the less hurtful they are…true, believe me…after some time you’re ready to go on…leave you some time:blush:
One should should try 2 forget about the past and welcome the new relationship with new hopes and should learn from past mistakes rather than pondering over them and repeating them.
Your past is a part of you and it also makes you what you are today, but one should learn from their mistakes and move on with grace! Life’s short and you can’t waste it thinking about what happened in the past and why did it happen. Whatever happened was prob. in your best interest anyway.
I completely agree with kashmiriraindrop, to forget or get over their past, you should start living your life, get involved within the community, volunteer, go out with friends, read, write, join the gym, there are tons of things you can do, keep yourself busy. Time’s the best healer, and life is like riding a bicycle, you don’t fall off unless you plan to stop peddling. Good luck!
sweetheart you are never alone. you have tons of friends and family, and they are always with you and they’ll be sad or worried about you if you won’t be happy. if you still think you are alone, hey “main hoon na” give me a call i’ll cheer you up so cheer up yaar, life’s short thori masti wasti kar lu cuz before you know it you’ll be married with kids and your husband will be yelling “honey whats for dinner”
???
so cheer up yaar, life’s short thori masti wasti kar lu 
cuz before you know it you’ll be married with kids and your husband will be yelling “honey whats for dinner” 