Re: honesty needed. upset,.
Maybe you just need to accept that he has a place in his heart for his mother; a place which YOU cannot take. So yes, he WILL ask you to please his parents, because in his heart, that makes HIM happy. As his wife, it’s your job to try and make him happy, even if it sometimes means doing things you wouldn’t normally do.
The flip side of this is that he also has a place in his heart which is for YOU, and his mother cannot ever take that place away from him. Just remember that you have to fulfill your role, and your role only. You’re not his mother, and you can never take her place. So just be his WIFE.
re what everyone’s saying about therapy, a short CBT course in anxiety/depression from the IAPT might be useful for you when you come to the UK. Go to your GP to get a referral and they’ll put you on a short 6-8 week course - I used to deliver these so I know the course content, and they’re very good in teaching structured, logical steps to overcome difficulties. I think a bit of rationality is just what you might be after. Also, they’re free under the NHS 
Ermm… elucidate?