*It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to
attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner
until you have knocked out their predecessors.
*Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned
down three days before their retirement.
*All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach the armpit
level of a woman, but only the waist level of the man lying
beside her.
*At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
*Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the
communications system of any invading alien society.
*All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
*You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless
you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your
sweetheart back home.
*A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious
beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
*If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown
through it before long.
*If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any
strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
*Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is
necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to
right every few moments.
*All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with
large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to
go off, but luckily you’ll always blindly choose to cut the
right wire.
*A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended
from duty.
*Police departments give their officers personality tests to
make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is
their total opposite.
…
