…few days ago I was watching my cousins wedding video… ‘n’ they held a Quran over her head at the rukhsati…
Why do south asian muslims do that? does it have any basis in Quran or Sunnah?
I wanna know too.May be we south Asian Muslims are very creative and always add couple of things here and there and then start following those.
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Lets see what answer we get.
Show Forgiveness, speak for Justice and avoid the Ignorant.
This is an interesting question. In fact it has been done at all my sisters' wedding. And recently, even my own. And it's always the dulhan's mamu's that do this.
I am Punjabi from Pakistan/Attock/Hazro/Mardan area (living in Amreeka) and they do this there as well.
I never stopped to ask why. but one can only deduce that the Shadow of Islam follow the bride wherever she may go.
just a hunch.. I'll have to ask my
Share your experiences - they cost you nothing but will make us all richer.
I don't think this anything has to do with Islam. Accoding to me it is just one of many traditions we ppl have developed and like to follow.
Yes I have always wondered about that; It's something that I like very much but I wonder where it started.
Assalam u Alaiqum brothers and sisters in Islam…
This is an interesting question, because many perform it without knowing the cause, the root, and the significance of it… This, is a form of Bid’aa… (tradition, innovation made by later generations) The reason people do so is, because they believe that the shade of Al-Qur’aan over the bride’s head will bring the couple good-luck, however by depending on the Qur’aan for good-fortune rather than Allah (swt), they are commiting the worst sin kwon as Shirk in the section of Tahweed Ar-Roobubeeyah (Unity Of Lordhip). And those who do not agree with me, tell me, why don’t Qaris, Maulanas, Alims, Imams, Bukharis, and other religious scholars have that done to their bride, since they are more likely to abide by the Sunnah? These are borrowed traditions from across the border (India) and across the World (America wageyra), and have no significance among Mumi’neen (believers) or whatsoever…
While we are actually talking about Muslim Marriages, other form of traditions (not acts of Sunnah nor Islamic rites…) are the wearing of sehra (a weird hat with sometimes feathers sticking out of it, etc), the stage of having the bride sit in a dolhi and drag her around on men’s shoulders, having the bride sit with the groom in front of the public and staring at them like grocery items, free-mixing of males and females at walimah functions and other type of gatherings, letting the bride miss her prayer so “that-the-makeup-dosn’t-get-messed-up”, having the sister(s)-in-law of the bride steal the grooms smelly shoes and huddle up to them until the groom gives them some “rishwaat” to get his “kusés” back in time for the “ruksati”, having the sister(s)-in-law give milk to the groom with their own hands (Now.. have a look at this! The girl isn’t wearing hijaab she is “dressed-to-kill”, she is wearing more makeup than her sister (the bride), and she is looking as tough she is a Miss Universe contestant, when she and the dulha get close [to go through the dood piné wali-session] the dulha falls for her “adhaen” despite his great attempts to resist her beauty, and there are some remorseful feelings inside the “dulha’s dil” to have had married his sis-in-law rather than his “honé-wali biwi”)<<-- This of course was just a short analyse of what it could be like (from my point of view). Anyways there are to many borrowed traditions in the Marriage-Section of Muslims nowadays, so I’ll give you a break…
Wahsalam
Aslamu’alakium respected brothers and sisters,
I think Paxtani made some good points
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It is very true that on one of the important days of our lifes we feel it’s ‘OK’ to do things that are against Islam and on top of that hope for Allah’s blessings
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May Allah ta’ala keep us away from these sorts of actions and guide us to the righteous path, Ameen.
I have my own questions regarding the pakistani wedding… much of it being Hindu, and sooo falsly disguised as being pakistani/islamic.
The least I know, is that all that is needed is the nikaah.. and finito, the marriage has been accomplished.
What say ye?
** Mu Hu Hahahahahaha!**
"Quote the Mu,“NeverMu!”
Yeh Duniya Doh Rangi Ajab Iski Baatein
Agar Pyar Maango toh Hasrat Millegi
Chaman Zindagi ke Hazaaron Killeinge
Magar Eik Dil ki Kali Nah Kiley Gi
I don't think holdig the Qur'an over the bride's head is a Hindu custom!
I think we need to understand that a LOT of what we do is a question of culture. Some things we thaink are Islamic are simply Arabian customs and not necessarily Islamic. Some things are not really important or significant but others are.
What about the practice of seating the bride in a separate room during the nikah? I don't think this is either Islamic or Arabian, just Indo-Pak.
a pertinent question ( as an outsider ) one may ask is...does islam forbid customs?
let us consider a tribe which chooses to adopt Islam ..does Islam expect them to do away with their customs?
QURAN IS FROM ALLAH. TOUCHING QURAN IS
BLESSING, READING QURAN IS BLESSING SO CROSSING UNDERNEATH IS ALSO BLESSING. I HAVE SEEN IN MARRIAGES BRIDE AND GROOM BOTH READ QURAN TOO. IT IS NOT BIDAT OR ANTHING TO DO IT. IT IS ALL PART OF BLESSING OF ALLAH YOU GIVING TO YOUR DAUGHTER.
WHY DO EVERY MUSLIM GO TO HAJJ AND KISS OR TOUCH HIJRAY-E-ASWAT ? WOULD NOT BE BIDAT TOO. SO PLEASE THINK LOUD..
[quote]
Originally posted by Farhina:
QURAN IS FROM ALLAH. TOUCHING QURAN IS
BLESSING, READING QURAN IS BLESSING SO CROSSING UNDERNEATH IS ALSO BLESSING. I HAVE SEEN IN MARRIAGES BRIDE AND GROOM BOTH READ QURAN TOO. IT IS NOT BIDAT OR ANTHING TO DO IT. IT IS ALL PART OF BLESSING OF ALLAH YOU GIVING TO YOUR DAUGHTER.
WHY DO EVERY MUSLIM GO TO HAJJ AND KISS OR TOUCH HIJRAY-E-ASWAT ? WOULD NOT BE BIDAT TOO. SO PLEASE THINK LOUD..
[/quote]
I wonder why Prophet Mohammed pbuh didnt give this blessing to his daughter. His companions also forgot to do this. Seems they didnt love their daughters.
[This message has been edited by sadeyes_neverlie (edited August 06, 2002).]
Farhina, the Quran is a book, it is meant for reading, it is God's word. It is utterly RIDICULOUS to say that passing under it, or touching it will bless you. That's like saying that if I kiss or touch or pass under the North Carolina Revised Statute, then I will be specially protected by the cops. Sounds ridiculous doesn't it? It is.
Farhina → you seem to have difficulties understanding the difference between a Holy Book meant to be read and acted upon, and Hijray-e-Aswat to be kissed (not worshipped) or atleast being waved (by salam)from far away, if touching it isn’t possible…
I personally do no know where these beliefs [the ones I mentioned] specifically originated from but all I can say that they are wrong.
Y2Mu, what you said is, indeed true… People “disguise” traditions as acts of Sunnah or have the audacity to call it acceptable in Islam…
Shirin, when I said that some of the traditions did come from across the border (India), I did not mean that it came from the hindus since they don’t believe in Qur’aan, so why would they hold it (except to burn it like they do nowadays…)! What I clearly meant was that some Indian Muslims tend to blend other cultural traditions with those of Islam, or like fay123 mentioned: they apply a method used totally by another religion to gain the blessings of Allah (swt)…
oursoulsatpeace you said: “a pertinent question ( as an outsider ) one may ask is…does islam forbid customs?
let us consider a tribe which chooses to adopt Islam ..does Islam expect them to do away with their customs?”
My personal response to this question would be that if the customs are un-Islamic, then they (all the tribe members) should and must definately leave them since it may become a thorn into the Path of Islam for them. We as Muslims shuold avoid any doubtful custom/tradition that we aren’t fully sure of… And then again, what is meant by “culture” and “tradition”? Shouldn’t we strictly enjoin good and forbid evil, and go according to the Sunnah since that is the way our lifestyle should be?
Wah Salam!
[quote]
Originally posted by sadeyes_neverlie:
**
I wonder why Prophet Mohammed pbuh didnt give this blessing to his daughter. His companions also forgot to do this. Seems they didnt love their daughters.**
[/quote]
Their Al-Quran was in their head my good man.
If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments.
I often wonder if our understanding of life in the Prophet's time is accurate. I wonder if the concepts translate accrately into out ways of thinking and understanding, as it's not just the language but the culture behind it that determines how we understand things.
We have some idea of what it was like, though, and from what I see it was so simple it was practically spartan. Whad did he give his daughter when she got married? Practcally nothing, in today's terms. How many of us think that is an Islamic ideal to emulate? How many of us consider that we are not good muslims if we give our daughters more than a mat and a pot?
I fully agree with the idea that the strength of the Qur'an lies in understanding it and putting it into practice, and as such the fact of a bride passing under the Qur'an is just as alien as the idea of kissing the holy book after it has been read or even of putting it higher than any other book, covering it with silk etc. etc. which gives it the same staus as an idol.
And in any case the Qur'an was not written down on paper in the time of the prophet. other holy books were - but no-one considers that as bid'at or imitation of other religions.
I therefore think that the position on bidat is very .... let's say, relative.
[quote]
Originally posted by Shirin:
**Whad did he give his daughter when she got married? Practcally nothing, in today's terms. How many of us think that is an Islamic ideal to emulate? How many of us consider that we are not good muslims if we give our daughters more than a mat and a pot?
**
[/quote]
Well, its not the items that matter, its the tradition. The Holy Prophet gave her daughter the items of daily use as dowry, there are more available these days and could therefore be given in dowry. But, anything more than that might be a biddat.
[quote]
**
And in any case the Qur'an was not written down on paper in the time of the prophet. other holy books were - but no-one considers that as bid'at or imitation of other religions.
**
[/quote]
According to my knowledge, Quran was there in written form in the Prophets days.
[quote]
Originally posted by Shirin:
*And in any case the Qur'an was not written down on paper in the time of the prophet. other holy books were - but no-one considers that as bid'at or imitation of other religions. *
[/quote]
Paper as we know it reached the Arabs (early 8th century) before it reached Europe; in fact the Christian world disfavoured it as a manifestation of Muslim culture and were slow to adopt it.
Thus all 'historical documents' like the Taurat and Bible if they existed in Book form at the time of the completion of revelation of the Qur'an would have existed on papyrus or other alternative forms of writing material.
Also it's only through traditions that we tend to believe that the Qur'an wasn't written down at the time of the Prophet. If we believe that the Prophet was a true one from the same Allah who sent the earlier portions of the Book, it seems mind boggling that he didn't order a compilation in book form in his lifetime knowing fully well that the Christians and Jews had compiled books they claimed to be Allah's word.
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by Paxtani Mentality:
While we are actually talking about Muslim Marriages, other form of traditions (not acts of Sunnah nor Islamic rites…) are the wearing of sehra (a weird hat with sometimes feathers sticking out of it, etc),
or, a pagri, or a fez. whats the difference. some people wear suits at their wedding, as long as you dont say that this is something ordained by religion, i dont see a problem with it
**having the bride sit with the groom in front of the public and staring at them like grocery items, **
the public staring at the couple, or the couple staring at the public? I think this started cuz ppl wanted to have their pics with the bride and the groom and what better place to do it than on a stage, again..I dont think anyone considers this as a part of the religion..they can sit with one another if they want to, after all they are married now..if you dont want to look at them, keep your gaze low
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif
**free-mixing of males and females at walimah functions and other type of gatherings, **
other gatherings, like hajj maybe?
**letting the bride miss her prayer so “that-the-makeup-dosn’t-get-messed-up”, **
I dont think its a tradition, if it happens it happens but its not a tradition anyways. not one that I know of.
** having the sister(s)-in-law of the bride steal the grooms smelly shoes and huddle up to them until the groom gives them some “rishwaat” to get his “kusés” back in time for the “ruksati”, **
babay, get the rishtas right, its the brides sisters who steal the shoes. I mean get your facts straight before the bhashan bhai.
P.s. a little deodorant (yep on the feet too) new saleem shahis and some talcum powder on the feet prevents smelly shoes at weddings. btw my desio bretheren, deodorant is not just for special occassions. as a matter of fact..with the amount of BO around at these crowds, te groom’s show is probably the least of anyone’s concern when it comes to BO.
**having the sister(s)-in-law give milk to the groom with their own hands (Now.. have a look at this! The girl isn’t wearing hijaab she is “dressed-to-kill”, she is wearing more makeup than her sister (the bride), and she is looking as tough she is a Miss Universe contestant, when she and the dulha get close [to go through the dood piné wali-session] the dulha falls for her “adhaen” despite his great attempts to resist her beauty, and there are some remorseful feelings inside the “dulha’s dil” to have had married his sis-in-law rather than his “honé-wali biwi”) **
Personal experience talking here? or does this happen at every wedding and everyone thinks that.
I dont have an issue with traditions, as long as they are not destructive. No one presents these as religious in nature.
Its harmless whether you like it or not, we have much bigger issues at hand and much more needs to be done.
as far as traditions go, ever been to an arab wedding? is everything that goes on in there religiously mandated, no. not now, not a thousand years ago.
Even our prophet did not have an issue with other people’s traditions..think about his welcome to medina and the singing and drums etc..
so lets stop being defnders of the faith, saviours of the people and salvation of a generation…all we are doing is being puritans.
as long as a tradition is not paraded as being a part of religion..its okay in my book.
okay i agree some of the things are not right probably not islamic as well.. but it’s all in fun!!! no harm done really.. that’s what makes weddings so interesting and unique!..that’s what culture is all about..being differnt and unique
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ai ajnabi tu bhee kabhee awaaz dai kahee say…