When girls get rishtey now-adays we have a say in them correct?
So i had been getting quite a few rishtey- i had rejected a few for GOOD- obvious reasons. Now my one aunt had a best friend who lived in another state. So my mom talks to my aunty and that aunty recommends her best friends son and says hes a good guy, smart, funny, mature, responsible, good looking etc etc.
So my mom begins talking to this aunty who was in another state- and they got close- they spoke for about 5 months- before visiting us. So my mom was like regardless if this rishtaa works out or no i will still consider you my friend because i love everything about you. I mean the aunty was very nice and loving and so was her family.
Finally, time comes for them to visit- they stayed over for 2 days. I didnt like the guy because he looked slow. He wouldnt pick up with my conversations, he was too childish, (constantly talking about family guy [cartoon] and imitating peter griffen) which i thought was very childish. He couldnt hold a serious or mature conversation. I didnt think we would click.
Khair after they left i told my parents i dont think he can catch up with me. and i dont want to give it a try because if you can give a person 4 hrs in ur house to check u out say a few words and decide whether or not hes good for you, then this guy has been in our house for 2 days and i think i know more than enough. So we said no.
So the mother and father took SUCH OFFENSE (although we didnt give reasons, we just said abhi were gonna look around- which is a normal polite way of saying NO. So they got so mad that the very next day The sent back all the gifts we gave them and they asked us for the gifts they gave us. I mean i thought it to be so pathetic! My mom considered her a friend and they wrote a PERSONAL MESSAGE ON THE BOX with the gifts it said ** Thanks but no thanks** GAY!! So we sent her the clothes back but forgot to pack the perfume.
Khair its been about 5 months and the lady calls my mom out of the blue and says i am sorry for everything blah blah and sorry for being so disrespectful. My mom said its ok we dont hold grudges were shareef loag. But rishtey are made in heaven and you need to understand if this rishta didnt work its ok allah swt had better planned for our kids- and you know wat she said- KHAIR CHOREY aap ki beti koi khaas nahi thi- weyse aap perfume waapis bhej na bhool gayein- my moms like whattt-- THE NERVE OF THIS LADY TO CALL BACK AND SAY CRAP LIKE THAT AFTER 5 MONTHS!! ppl cant get over stuff! omg- khair then moms like ill send u the perfume im very sorry we realized we forgot after we sent the delivery out.
are there aunties like that out there who do that? people who hold such a grudge? **** man!! get over it! it was just bothering me so i came here to vent- anybody experience anything this retarded??
yup doesnt surprise me at all .. I rejected someone in the family, like a fourth cousin or something and he took it to heart and vowed that he wont let my shadi happen peacefully! I was like what crap how dare he ..
and we complained to his mom and it seems she was the one who was instigating him ! anyways who cares .. we have Allah mian to protect us .. but people can be so pathetic .. its been 4 years since the incident and those freaks still spread rumours about me !
yes very common thing now days. Thats why i always always recommend, if you want to judge someone, see them when they r in anger. See them when you do not fulfill one of their wish. Coz thats when they show their REAL selves to you. But no one listens to me
OMG yes i feel your pain. this actually happened in my immediate family yaar! my khala wanted a rishta (for her daughter, my cousin) with my hubby's older brother (my jayt). and right off the bat my mom told her frankly (since they are sisters and can talk openly) that she doesnt think that her daughter and my jayt would make a good match because of obvious personality/likes/dislikes differences, etc etc. uffff yaar, just because of my mom innocently telling her this, she AND my cousin havent talked to us in over a year! i mean, iss mein konsi aisi baat hogayi??? like what big offense did my mother do by giving her advice to my khala.......kasam se yaar, sometimes family can overreact so much. ....
and then get this....its been over a year and a while ago my mom made the first moved and called her sister to try to make amends. my mom even as far as to say that if you REALLY still want us to try to get the rishta for your daughter then we'll definetely do baat with them...........and my khala had the nerve to say that no, we feel that he isnt good enough for our daughter anymmore and we dont want to do the shadi in the same family as your daughters.............uffff!! unbelievable... hain na?
trust me those were sum ghatiya jahil ppl- i told my mother that she shuldve told them -
" sorry aap ka beta slow hai- he might never be able to catch up to her standards"
OMG yes i feel your pain. this actually happened in my immediate family yaar! my khala wanted a rishta (for her daughter, my cousin) with my hubby's older brother (my jayt). and right off the bat my mom told her frankly (since they are sisters and can talk openly) that she doesnt think that her daughter and my jayt would make a good match because of obvious personality/likes/dislikes differences, etc etc. uffff yaar, just because of my mom innocently telling her this, she AND my cousin havent talked to us in over a year! i mean, iss mein konsi aisi baat hogayi??? like what big offense did my mother do by giving her advice to my khala.......kasam se yaar, sometimes family can overreact so much. ....
and then get this....its been over a year and a while ago my mom made the first moved and called her sister to try to make amends. my mom even as far as to say that if you REALLY still want us to try to get the rishta for your daughter then we'll definetely do baat with them...........and my khala had the nerve to say that no, we feel that he isnt good enough for our daughter anymmore and we dont want to do the shadi in the same family as your daughters.............uffff!! unbelievable... hain na?
wow thats insane- the most littelest things can tick a person off- man these rishtey things are scary to deal with-and people hold the grudges and take it to their graves with them!!
Asli roop shaadi kay bad pata lagta hai you know. Its a good thing you found out before you got married to the guy. As for him watchin Family Guy... yeh even if he watches it at such a mature age.. even the humour is based for adults still thats not something u really talk about? Like if it was Greys Anatomy, Scrubs etc then its kinda ok.
Back to the topic, its a typical asian I say asian because its not actually one group of people i.e. Pakistanis.. its more generally in our culture. People are seriously like that they have no shame, they do that just to give themselves some laughter to talk about over their biryaani.. lol Its sad.. but yeh it happens.
The funniest thing that has happend to me, to date, was when the guys FATHER was well educated etc but the guy himself was barely qualified Full on stupid with Chavvy to boot. But whatever floats your boat. Some girls are swayed by the 9 crt bling.
Anyway, they called my mother about 2 weeks after - informing her of their retrospective disagreement...apparantly too old. My mother replied saying that as they already knewI was uninterested however it's just as well as she wasn't aware that they had been looking for a playschool graduate.
hey thanks everyone for replies and sharing your stories and thoughts-
Im definately wayyy beyond OVER it- lol i just thought id share the fact some PEOPLE take rishtey stuff soo seriously and hold it for soo long- it came out to me as funny how she called to apologise then throws something like that to my moms face- and asks for her ONE gift we forgot to pack- back hahah very cheap
Our hazoor paak loved gifts- he loved the fact there was exchanging of gifts, my mom gave her that explanation of our prophet (pbuh) ans said to keep the gifts we gave her and since she's asking for her gifts back she will get em back- but she didnt take the thought into consideration once. khair- moral of the story- dont get too close to rishteyy popl untill u see there TRUE COLORS. we are very simple people- loving- caring and so respectful- they came to our house and we took care of them like maharajas. But allah swt did it for my good. Im happy i didnt get involved =)
Ok I finished reading your post.
There son was humiliated.
Either you was it western way you do in arrange marriage fashion.
If it was just you and dude getting along THEN where exchange of gift came into play ???????
And before you accuse some one else of being some thing Consider this what IF it was him rejecting you?
Would you not be mad?
So stop being a GIRL and be more considerate here.
Sorry PM- i didnt mention the whole end of the story i didnt think it needed to go any further- but while they were over they were pushing us to decide withint the 2 days so while they were visiting they can do a small ceremony! So it got me thinking why are they pushing it so much- is there something that i should know and if i pursue it i will find out later? But they had accepted the risthaa thru the pictures- I am sorry but i cannot decide my future within seeing pictures and a 3 day visit from people.
Im not saying im hurt to get rejected haha thats not even the LAST of my worries- its the fact what they said to my mother. Put it in ur shoes- if that happened to u or ur sister or cousin- im sure if somebody threw some horrible words at ur parents or u- or any loved one of urs- it will sting? No? khair ur a monk- u wouldn't understand :@:
.. but people can be so pathetic .. its been 4 years since the incident and those freaks still spread rumours about me !