My son is two and has just recently started hitting me, its all the time, at first i put him on time out, but that has not worked, he just looks me straight in the face when doing it, waiting for my response:bummer: I dont smack him so i dont know where he has got this from, is it normal?
Re: Hitting me
It's normal in young children. There's a reason why that age is called the Terrrible Twos, lol.
When your son is calm, tell him that he needs to use his words. Explain to him that hitting is wrong, hitting hurts, and people can't understand hitting or crying. And the next time he hits, he will lose a privilege (play time, tv, dessert, etc.) If he wants mommy to listen, he needs to use his words. And if he's not going to use his words, mommy is not going to listen.
Explain this to him at eye-level. Meaning you should get down on your knees so that you are at eye-level with him when having this discussion.
Parents often make the mistake of not applying consequences. When you tell a child that he will have a consequence the next time a misbehavior takes place.....then it needs to be done! If you don't do it, the kid thinks you're not serious and that he can get away with breaking the rules again.
So, if you tell your son that the next time he hits you ....he gets a certain consequence (time-out, loss of privilege), then follow through with the consequence.
Don't give up on consequences. You have to very consistent with them for it to work. And kids hate time-out. To them, 5 minutes in time out is like eternity.
When he hits you, apply the consequence, and remind him that he's not using his words so you can't help him........and then walk away. Do this consistently, and he'll begin to understand that he needs to use his words to communicate with you and not his hands.
When you see him using his words or doing something positive.....PRAISE HIM/REWARD HIM. That helps in motivating a child to continue with good behavior.
Re: Hitting me
i dont know if i would use this techinque.. but a friend of mine had a horrible horrible HORRIBLE 2 yr old who would slap anyone and everyone... they are the most soft spoken of ppl, my friend and her husband.. so she was shell shocked when her son just went ballistic and started to be so physical, especially with her... she tried everything
then one day, just as her son had slapped her, she gave him one tight slap on the cheek. u could see her hand print on his face.. he was very surprised and when that initial shock had settled in, he started to bawl. she dragged him to his room and gave him time out. afterwards, when he had calmed down, she asked him if it hurt and he said yes and that mommy didnt like him.. so my friend said exactly the same stuff back to him ... when u slap mommy, it hurts her a lot too... how would he like mommy to keep hitting him everyday?
she got thru to him.. he would raise his hand to hit afterwards but then would remember and then the slap would come down very lightly.. soon the slapping and hitting ended
pretty neat.. didnt think the 2 yr old had it in him.
Re: Hitting me
Khawateen, I think what you are referring to is the classic "chamaat"
Re: Hitting me
my son who is ten now and a very loving child, did this hitting too. and i gave him the same treatment one day ...and asked him does he like it. he never hit again.
Re: Hitting me
i didnt think ppl would know the correct term.. chamaat.. but im glad ppl do :D
Re: Hitting me
Two year olds are AWFUL! Hence the 'terrible two's!'
My mums best friend had her son quite late in age and he was just awful she used to tie his hands up whenever he hit. Hes about 10/11 now and such a lovely young boy, but man he was AWFUL when he was a toddler. He used to spit in her face and everything!
You just have to be firm and consistent. Its ok to ignore shouting and screaming as they will soon tire, but hitting is a no-no.
First how he learned hitting?
He must have seen any kid hitting his parents so he learned.
Kids pick very quickly so you have to be very careful. Whenever you see any kid doing something wrong infront of your kid tell your kid whatever he/she was doing was very wrong and a bad thing. Kids shouldn’t do that.
How I knew that?
When my brother was I don’r remember 2 or 3 or 4 one of my neighber was raising her niece as her mom was passed away she come to my house and she use to hit her aunty. My brother saw that and learned that.
He hit my mom 1 or 2 days we asked not to do that he didn’t listen so one day my mom hit him hard and he stopped.
How to Stop?
Chamat kay badlay chamat. Aur koi tareeqa naheen samajhtay buchchay.
Aik aur relative kay yahan sub baray baray thay baray bhai ki buchchi. Pehli buchchi thi sub ki pyari thi sub bohat pyar kartay thay. Wo saray khud sub ka mazaq uratay thay burhay jawan, baray kay chotay. Un logon nain buchchi jo karti thi khoob hanstay thay jis main sub say bara contribution uski phuphi aur chacha ka tha baad main maan bhi hansnay main saath ho gai.
Jub koi mahman ata tha to wo unko marti thi sub kay samnay, thook phainkti thi unpay, choonti kaanti thi aur saray baap, maan, chacha, phoophi sub khoob hanstay thay. Shuru main logon nain buchchi samajh kar chup rahay per her dafa her aik kay saath karnay lagi to logon nain bura manana shuru kia phir bhi kisi ko kuch farq naheen para.
Meri bahan to saath hi us ko maar deti thi sub kay saamnay. lol
Phir wo chachu jo sub say ziada hastay thay unki shadi huwi aur unki wife ko marna shuru kia logon kay saamnay marti thi kay mujhay trolly lana tha aur sub kay samnay marti thi to kitchen main jaa kar jhagra shuru ho jata tha aur mahmaan suntay thay.
Phir apas main isi wajah say bhain main itni na chaqi huwi kay sub nain us bhai bhabhi aur bhateeji ko no lift kar dia aur aik ghar main reh kar wo konay main ho gaay. Unhon nain mahmaan ata tha to logon kay samanay hi ana chor dia.
Logon nain bhi khoob bura bhala kaha. Ub to masha Allah wo larki bari ho gai doctor bani apni mehnat say aur shadi bhi ho gai. Per wo kaisay theek huwi pata naheen. Theek huwi bhi kay naheen.
Isi liaay buchchay jub ghalat kaam karain to us pay hasnay say buchchon ko lugta hai kay wo achcha kaam kar rahay hain oar wo kartay rehtay hain. Is liaay ghalat kaam pay kabhi hansna naheen chahyay. AGar loag hon to baad main samjha dena chahyay kay jo aap nain kia ghalat hai naheen karna chahyay ainda na karay to. Aik do baar samjhanay kay baad to. The Best way to teach is a CHAMAAT.
Chamaat policy rule.
Time out say buchchay sudhartay naheen hain wo waqti rokna hota hai. Jub koi bemari hoti hai to us ka bahtareen ilaaj ussay jaar say ukharna hota hai dabana ya waqti roakna naheen.
A CHAMAAT A DAY KEEP THE KID BIGRING AWAY. LOL