if you were married …and 1 member of ur husbands family was being mean/rude to you. as in speaking to you rudely when u have done nothing to provoke them. lets say its his sister (as is the case mostly).
should the husband be told about this or is it better for the wife to keep quiet (so that it doesnt cause any problems in the family) ?
Re: His Family
Well, initially, I think keeping quiet is the way to go. But if the rudeness is getting out of hand I would tell my husband or try to handle the situation on my own without the husband's involvement first but my last resort would definitely be going to the hubby.
Re: His Family
This happened to someone quite close to me...
I advise that the husband be spoken to...there is no benefit to being quiet because the sister will continue to act the way she is...and it isnt fair to leave yourself in a situation where you are being bullied...
Its a big test for the man...and it will show the calibre of husband that he is if he takes action against his sister...it can also show what a coward or close minded guy he is if he supports his sister...
Its not easy to be objective when family is involved...and people tend to be defensive over their families...
But discuss it and say that you are trying to make the best of your relationship with his sister...but say that the sister is not living up to her side of the bargain...
Insh'allah he does the right thing and reprimands his sister...if he doesnt then its not a sign of a man who puts his wife first...
Good luck...
Re: His Family
Isn’t trying to turning husbands against their families what wives do anyway 
Seriously though, once married a man’s no. 1 priority should be the happiness of his wife. So she should tell the hubby.
Re: His Family
ooh definately tell the husband abt this..if he has digniity he will defend you...like if someone says somthin bad abt ma bitch..ill bust a cap in his/her ass..
Re: His Family
Lusi,
so what if it is your mother who hates the broad and badmouths her. You are going to smoke your mom?
Maddy, that merits the question as to what position islam wants the husband to take if the dispute is between the MIL and wife. What should be his priority then?
Re: His Family
Priority? Islam would tell you to take the stance of righteousness. If one or both are doing something/saying something wrong, then it should be corrected, regardless of where it came from.
Its not like the Quran says Mom is priority over wife or Wife is priority over Mom.
Re: His Family
good point..mom/dad are exceptions cuz they are always right..rest are gonna hear it..
Re: His Family
PCG: Agreed. The query was in response to maddy's statement: " a married man's # 1 priority is the happiness of his wife," which, dont get me wrong, is something i couldn't argue with; however, in the context of the content of the thread that statement does raise hypothetical scenarios.
Re: His Family
If its your mum its a tough call...its never easy to hear that your mum is wrong from anybody...but in disputes between his wife and mum he should try his best to be objective and reprimand whoever is at fault whether it be his mother or wife...never easy but it needs to be done...
Also if it is the mum and she is a horrible in-law it will set a precedent and make it clear that ummi is not always right when a dispute arises...
Re: His Family
well the husband shud definately be told...after that it's up to the both of u to decide if and how u will approach that family member. but at least tell him wot's going on otherwise he won't even know ur hurting.
Re: His Family
ummmmmm ! how u act on here i wont be realy surprised, to be honest with you but once u told me ONE CANT MAKE EVERYBODY HAPPY remember ?
p/s: ok sry for the intruption ... lets chant islam islam islam .....
Re: His Family
actually ISLAM do prior mom over wife 
.. correct me if im wrong pweez.