I’m going to a Hindu wedding next month. I’m kinda excited since I have never attended a Hindu wedding.
So, what does it entail? Is it similar to sikh weddings where the marriage ceremony is in the morning and the party is in the evening? Do people dance at Hindu weddings? How long is the actual wedding ceremony?
I've been to a couple. A few hours in the morning which consist of the actual ceremony (usually in a temple, but sometimes they have it set up in a wedding hall.) The reception is later in the evening. It's just like a sikh wedding...including the dancing part. :-)
Enjoy!!
I have only been to Chirstian weddings in my past. Sorry Mejnaz, but do tell us how it goes.
I have been to Hindu weddings. Didnt find anything different cuz I attended only the dinners, I dont know about rest of the rituals.
I've been to one hindu wedding. However only to the reception in the evening.
It depends on what part of India or even the world u r from. For example my sister got married in '98 and we are what would be galled Palghat Iyers(Tamil Brahmins from the state of Kerala). There was no dancing at the end of the wedding as there would be with a Punjabi Hindu Wedding or perhaps some other groups. Also I think the walking around the fire stuff is unique to north Indian weddings and maybe some south India but not quite sure. There r other differences. I think the religious aspects of most Hindu weddings are the same in that they follow the rituals described by the Vedas. They may have different names because of the different languages though. Guessing u r going to your parents friends wedding and also guessing they r punjabi since that is the Indian ethnicity Pakistanis have the most in common with. Also no shortage of Punjabis in the U.S. Sindhis r of course native to Pakistan but not as many of them in the U.S. Course Upites or Biharis have much in common also with Pakistanis but barely c any of them. This details Punjabi Hindu weddding which is probably what some of u mistake for ‘Hindu’ weddings.
PRE-WEDDING CEREMONIES
ROKA
ROKA is a small ceremony between the close family members of the bride and groom-to-be. The groom’s family goes to the girl’s house, where gifts are exchanged. The boy’s family usually presents a gold chain and a sari to the girl. The girl’s family also gives gifts to the boy. After the roka ceremony, the boy and girl are considered engaged to each other and are allowed to meet freely.
SAGAN
A date for the Sagan is set close to the wedding day so that the relatives can conveniently attend all the functions. A ‘Havan’ is performed and the ‘pandit’ ties a mauli on the boys wrist. The boy takes blessings from the girl’s family. The father of the bride-to-be applies a tilak of saffron, rice and rose petals on the groom’s forehead. The girl’s family members and friends then give mithai and cash to the boy.
CHUNNI CHARHANA AND ENGAGEMENT
The boy’s sister or bhabhi traditionally presents the bride to be a red chunni or a red sari. The girl dresses in the clothes brought by the groom’s family. Her mother-in law to be feeds her ‘shagun’ of boiled rice and milk, gives her gifts and adorns her with jewellery. The couple now exchange rings and are formally engaged. All the boy’s relatives give the girl gifts or money.
SANGEET
The families of both the boy and the girl hold lively functions, filled with music and dance. They invite each other’s family members and friends to celebrate the happy occasion. Everyone joins in the fun, from the oldest gray haired grandparent to the youngest member of the family. The verses range from the love ballads of Waris Shah , to the travails of the bahu in her sasural, to the slightly bawdy lyrics with impossible to translate naughty puns and innuendoes. Ladies sit around a dance floor, play the ‘dholki’ and sing wedding folk songs while everyone dances to the irresistible beat, with both sides trying to outdo each other.
THE WEDDING
CHURHA
This ceremony is performed on the morning of the wedding. The bride’s maternal uncle (Mama) has a pivotal role in this ceremony. The churha ceremony begins with a havan. The churha is a set of cream and red ivory bangles, which the brides maternal uncle and his wife put on her wrists. The girl is not allowed to see her churha until after the ceremony. After the puja everybody present touches the churha, in a manner of offering their blessings. A mauli, a gana of small shells, an iron ring and an iron bangle are also put on her by the pandit as a good omen.
After the ceremony, everybody showers flower petals on the girl as a blessing. Prasad, usually suji ka halwa, is distributed to all present. All present tie ‘kaliras’, light ornaments of beaten silver and gold to the iron bangle. The bride then hit hers unmarried friends and sisters on the head with her kaliras. The lucky one in whose hair a kalira breaks off is believed to be the next to get married. The eldest mama and mami (or those performing this ceremony) keep a fast. Often, the girl’s parents also keep a fast for the day.
MEHNDI CEREMONY
On the wedding day, the bride has intricately patterned mehandi on her hands and feet Traditionally, mehandi was applied to the girl only after chuda ceremony on the day of the wedding. Nowadays, however, the mehandi ceremony is held a day prior to the wedding. This ceremony is accompanied by singing, dancing and rejoicing by relatives and friends.
The boy’s family sends a ‘Kwar dhoti’ to the girl’s house on the wedding day. Mehandi is a part of this gift. It includes a sari for the girl or a shawl, a white dhoti, which is to be given to the pandit, makhaanas, almonds, dried dates, misri, mithai, bindis, oil and cosmetics. Traditionally a girl cannot wear a chuda till she has received the kwar dhoti from her prospective in-laws and she must use the mehandi sent to her for the ceremony.
^ wow thats sure a lot of parties.
This is a good site for finding out the info u wanna find out about not just Hindu but other types of Indian weddings.
http://www.jeevansathi.com/austim1.htm
Heere’s a bengali wedding.
Introduction
Since Bengal is mostly a coastal region, produce from the sea plays a significant role in all religious ceremonies - hence the important presence of fish, shell and corals.
A salient feature of the Bengali wedding is the blowing of the conch and the Ooli. This is a sound made by the women with their tongues and by beating the palms on the mouth throughout all the ceremonies. Ovoli is significant since it symbolically ensures that everybody’s attention is drawn to the main ceremony and nobody is distracted by idle gossip during the ceremonies.
Weddings do not take place in the months of Bhadra, Ashwini, Paush, Chaitra and Karthik, as these months are considered inauspicious.
The mahurat for the wedding is always after sunset, the Godhuli hour or the hour when the cowherds bring their flocks home.
Wedding Attire
Bridal Wear
The Bengali bride wears a Benarasi sari with a wide zari border and drapes a red cheli or veil on her head.
There is an attractive headgear in the from of a sholar mukut or crown carved out of pith (bark of a tree). The bride’s forehead is marked by artistically designed motifs.
The bride also wear traditional heavy gold jewellery.
Her hair is put up with pins but must not be braided or knotted (a knot is usually tied when something is broken). Her head is covered with a dupatta.
Her hands and feet are decorated with alta (a red coloured dye mixed with water).
She wears a garland of flowers.
The traditional marriage symbols for a Bengali woman are the three types of bangles namely shankha (conch shell bangle), Pala (lacquer bangle), and loha (iron bangle).
Groom’s Wear
The bridegroom dresses in traditional white dhoti and kurta. The dhoti must not be tied with any knots. It can only be folded and tucked in.
He drapes a chadar around his shoulders and adorns his head with a huge sholar topor that adds height to the wearer.
His accessories are a floral garland around his neck and a metallic mirror, darpan, held in his hand.
His make-up consists of chandan dots on his forehead.
For the actual wedding ceremony, the groom changes into clothes gifted by his father-in-law. The ensemble, is a twin set consisting of a dhoti and chadar which is made of garad, a traditional silk fabric from Bengal. The dhoti must not be tied with any knots. It can only be folded and tucked in. He now wears a topor presented to him by his father-in-law.
The Marriage Ceremony
Yagya
The bride and groom are seated in front Agni (sacred fire). The priest chants mantras which they repeat, and offer ghee to the fire.
Saat Pheras
The traditional grinding stone on which masalas or spices are ground is placed upside down. Near this, seven circular alpanas (rangolis or decorative patterns on the floor) are drawn, and one paan is placed on each one of them. The girl stands in front and she takes her first step on the stone, the boy gently nudges her left foot with his right. She then places her foot on the first alpana. Seven such steps are taken.
Just as the pestle for grinding the masalas moves round and round and finally rests on the stone, so also the couple remain stable and unmoving, and withstand all difficulties and hurdles with the stoicism of stone.
Anjali
Then the groom takes both her palms in his and the girl’s brother fills them with popped rice (Khoi) which is offered to the fire.
Sindoor Daan or Ghunghat
The bride then covers her head with a new sari offered by the groom.
The groom takes a box containing a red powder (sindoor). He dips a ring into the sindoor and traces a line of it from between the girl’s eyebrows through the parting in her hair.
He then covers her face with a new sari (ghunghat), signifying that she is now his. The red colour of the sindoor implies passion, fertility and strength.
This concludes the marriage.
Post-Wedding Rituals
Reception
The bride’s family holds as reception and there is a grand feast for the guests.
The bride and the groom spend the first night after the wedding in the bride’s house playing traditional games with their friends throughout the night. There is a lot of merrymaking with song and dance.
Bidaai
This refers to the bride’s tearful farewell from her maternal home.
As she steps out, she throws a handful of rice over her head into her mother’s aanchal signifying that with this gesture, she has repaid all her debts to her mother.
Bharan Poshan
At the groom’s house, there is a welcome meal for the bride with her husband. There the groom says that henceforth, he will look after all her needs (Bharan Poshan).
Kaal Ratri
In the evening, the boy’s family holds a reception.
The second night after the wedding, the boy and girl are not allowed to even look at each other.
Bohu Bhaat
The following morning, the girl cooks rice, and this rice with ghee is served to all members of her husband’s family. This is symbolic of her desire to serve her family.
Phool Shojja and Suhaag Raat
The third night after the wedding, the bride and groom are adorned with flowers. Their bedroom is also decorated with flowers and they are now permitted to consummate the marriage.
interesting. :)
Wow, thanks Vivek! :) It's a Gujrati Hindi wedding. I'm very excited and looking forward to experiencing a hindu wedding.....and getting dressed up of course! I'll wear a saree.
Here's a Tamil Brahmin wedding which I would be most familiar with.
Introduction
There are a number of communities in Tamil Nadu. However, in case of every community, a Brahmin priest called upon to preside over the wedding rituals. Though there are variations in the rituals followed by different communities, the basic guidelines remain the same.
Generally Tamilians conduct marriages in public halls especially constructed for the purpose.
As per the Hindu calendar, barring the months of Aashad, Bhadrapad, Shunya, all other months are considered to be auspicious for marriage, as with most other Hindu weddings.
Tuesdays and Saturdays are not auspicious for weddings and so are Rahu Kalam and Yama Kandam. So the wedding time is fixed accordingly.
The bride's birth star is used to fix the most appropriate date and time for the wedding.
Selecting a Match
The parents exchange horoscopes of the boy and girl to consult astrologers about their match. They are compared in various regards. Some of the major ones are:
The horoscopes are compared to see in how many of the ten aspects laid down they suit each other(heeh my parents did that at first but stopped later on). The major aspects are suitability regarding the day, asterism, the ganam and yoni.
The horoscopes are also subjected to six additional suitability tests:- Rasipporutham, Rasi Adipathipporutham, Vasyapporutham, Rajjupporutham, Vedaipporutham, Nadipporutham.
Among these and certain other suitability tests, if the horoscopes match on certain important and basic aspects, then the marriage is permitted.
Once this is done, the two parties negotiate the terms of the marriage like what each side should give to the other side by way of gifts of cash, silver, utensils, jewellery, etc.
Pre-Wedding Rituals
Drawing up the Marriage Agreement
Once the match is finalised, a private function is held to draw up the marriage agreement. On an auspicious day priests from either side meet in the groom's house and the two parties exchange the marriage agreement. The agreement is placed on a plate alongwith bananas, coconuts and betel leaf.
The terms of the marriage too are announced by the parties and accepted.
Usually the girl is presented with a silk sari by the groom's family and the groom clothes or cash in lieu.
Paalikali Thalippu/ Karappu
This ceremony is performed by the bride's family a couple of days preceding the wedding.
To the accompaniment of songs and music (Gauri Kalyanam), special clay pots are decorated with sandalwood paste and kumkum powder. A little curd is placed in each pot and nine types of grains nava dhaanyam, are sprinkled in these pots and watered by five or seven married ladies from both sides. These ladies are given gifts.
After the wedding, on the next day, these pots are thrown into a nearby pond or water tank by the bride and groom . By this time, the grains have sprouted. It is believed that the fish in the water will eat the sprouted grains and then bless the bride and the groom.
Sumangali Prarthanai
There is a belief among the Hindus that is auspicious if a wife dies before her husband. Such women are called sumangalis. Both the families pray to the souls of sumangalis to ensure that the bride also has the good fortune to be called away while her husband is yet alive.
The ceremony is held before the wedding at the bride's place and after the wedding at the groom's. It basically included inviting a number of married women to a feast and gifting them with presents usually saris.
Kalyanapunnu/Kalyanappillai
This is a bathing ritual, a small private function. It is performed separately in the bride's and the groom's house by their respective parents, usually on the Friday preceding the wedding.
A 'peedi' or wooden seat is placed in front of a kolam. The girl is given an oil bath with til sesame oil. She is gifted a green sari. After her bath she wears that and green and red bangles. The bride's mother gives her the entire trousseau. After this ritual the girl is confined to the house till her marriage.
In the groom's house the father pours oil on the groom's head and gifts him clothes and toiletries. The boy too is then confined till marriage.
Receiving the Groom and Family
The arrangements for the marriage celebrations are made by the bride's family.
The groom's party arrives the day before the marriage.
Amidst loud sounds of Nadaswaram (music), the groom's party is ushered in with a tray containing offerings of flowers, paan supari, fruits and mishri (sugar nuggets).
The bridegroom himself is welcomed by sprinkling rose-water.
The bride's brother applies a tilak of sandalwood paste and kumkum on his forehead and garlands him with flowers.
The bride's mother welcomes the groom by feeding him mava (a sweetmeat made of thick condensed milk) from a new vessel and garlanding him. The groom's mother distributes the mava among the relatives.
Older married ladies perform an arti.
The bridegroom's procession is then escorted to the rooms they will occupy till the marriage ceremony is over.
In a room, with the exception of jewellery, the bride's parents keep all the gifts given to the bride. The bride's family hands over the keys of the room to the groom's family.
Vritham
A ceremony is performed to ensure that the marriage takes place without any hitches/problems.
Traditional Vedic hymns are recited by the parents of both, the bride and the groom, officiated by a priest (Vaadyar) asking for blessings of the family deity and all their ancestors so that the marriage takes place peacefully and correctly, without any hitches.
Naandi Shraartham
As a symbol of the souls of the ancestors of both sides, eight or ten Brahmins are invited. The two families seek their blessings and honour them with gifts of paan-supari, fruits, flowers, coconuts, sweets and dhoti-angavastram (clothes).
Janavasanam
The bridegroom's party goes to a nearby temple in the evening.
The bride's party reaches there carrying 5 varieties of sweets/namkeens and clothes for the groom. One of the sweets must be the traditional conical sweet Parupputenga.
After giving the gifts, the marriage party is brought to the bride's home for the engagement ceremony.
Nicchiyadharatham
With the parents of the bride, the priest performs Ganesh Pooja.
The bride is asked to come out and sit in the venue.
The groom's party gives the bride a new sari. Then the bride is seated and a tilak of chandan and kumkum is applied to her forehead. The pallav of her sari is filled with fruits, paan supari, turmeric, kumkum, coconut and flowers and tied around her waist. An arti is performed for her.
Mangalasnanam
Early in the morning of the wedding day, an auspicious hour (muhurtam) is chosen for a ceremonial bath for the bride and the groom.
The bride and groom sit on low wooden stools around rangolis. The bride and the groom sit separately between their respective parents.
The bride and the groom are anointed with turmeric, kumkum and oil. The ladies perform arti.
The bride's mother gifts a 9 yard maroon sari to the bride and a dhoti to the groom both to be worn for the actual wedding ceremony. Then the bride and the groom go to their respective homes to bathe and dress.
Gauripooja
After bathing and dressing up, the bride prays privately to Gauriamma.
Kashi Yatra
This is a playful ritual with the groom pretending to get angry and threatening to go to Kashi on a pilgrimage.
He carries a walking stick, an umbrella, a fan, a coconut, a small packet of rice and dal, and a dhoti.
The bride's parents plead symbolically, with the groom to come back to their daughter who is praying for him. The bride's brother wooes him back offering his sister's hand in marriage.
The groom is then escorted back by the bride's brother shading him with the umbrella.
Padapooja
On his return the groom is seated and the mother of the bride washes his feet in water, chandan and kumkum in a brass vessel.
She then calls the bride who is brought in by her maternal uncle.
Exchange of Garlands
The bride and the groom exchange garlands three times.
This ceremony is also associated with lighter moments when the bride is teasingly pulled away as the boy reaches out to garland the girl.
Oonjal
The bride and the groom are then made to sit side by side on a swing.
Small balls of cooked rice, coloured yellow and red with turmeric and kumkum are lightly dipped in milk, which is sprinkled on the bride and groom's feet. Married ladies, from the bride's circumambulate the rice balls around the bride and the groom thrice in clockwise and anticlockwise direction and then throw them in all four directions to prevent evil forces from creating any hitches.
A mixture of milk and banana is given to the bride and the groom.
The older women holding alternately, a lamp and a water urn, circumambulate the couple. This is done three or four times. Amidst all this, Oonjal Pattu songs specially worded for this occasion are sung.
continued (TB weddings)
Post-Wedding Rituals
Lunch
The bride's parents offer a feast to the guests.
Grihapravesh
Nowadays a part of the ceremony is held at the marriage hall, in the rooms allocated to the groom's family.
The groom's family holds a ceremony similar to the Oonjal to ward of evil spirits.
When the bride enters the actual residence of the groom the following ceremony takes place.
The bridal party with the newly wed couple enters what is symbolically the groom's home.
A rice measure full of rice is kept at the entrance. While entering the house, the bride kicks the rice measure with the right foot to sprinkle the grain into the house. This is a symbol of the abundance and prosperity that she would bring into her new house.
Then the groom invites the ladies of the house to see the bride and then wish and bless her.
In the groom's house milk and bananas are served to the bridal party as prasadam. Grooms parents give gifts to all accompanying the girl
Valeyadal
The bride and the groom are seated together in the groom's (actual or symbolic) house.
The groom's sister gives gifts to the bride.
Then games are played like who finds the ring first in a pot of water.
sometimeReception
On the evening of the wedding day, a reception is held.
Friends, colleagues and relatives are invited for dinner and it is a social function with no rituals.
Usually the function is organised and paid for by the groom's family. However, sometimes, it is done by the bride's family.
Generally a music concert (classical) is arranged.
(this part was damn boring but of course my parents loved it)
Bridal night
Usually the wedding halls have a predesignated room which is especially decorated for the couple to spend the wedding night. Some may prefer going to a hotel ors the groom's house.
The mother of the bride gives gifts to the bride and the groom. She also gives a small idol of Krishna (Krishna Vigraha) to her daughter. This is later passed on to the mother-in-law.
Women sing songs when the couple comes out the next morning.
from http://www.shaadi.com/shaadi_scene/indian_matrimony/gujarati_matrimonials.php
2 other good sites for Indian weddings.
Indian Marriages Search
Gujarati Wedding
Pre-wedding rituals
Mandap Mahurat
This ceremony is undertaken at the outset of most auspicious events. The families of the bride and the groom perform this ceremony in their homes a few days before the wedding. The families pray to Lord Ganesh the Hindu God who is believed to remove all obstacles and seek his divine blessing. The puja is performed by an acharya or priest in front of a sacred fire.
Griha Shanti
This is an important puja or prayer session and is conducted at the bride’s home as well as the groom’s. A mahurat or auspicious time is chosen for the puja after matching the horoscopes of the prospective bride and groom. The puja for Griha Shanti is conducted by an acharya with the family members and relatives of the bride’s father participating in the rituals.
Jaan
This ritual involves the groom arriving at the house of the bride to seek the blessings of his mother-in-law. He must bow his head and clutch his nose. This gesture symbolises his humility and understanding of the tremendous sacrifice that his future wife is about to make. The groom’s prospective mother-in-law blesses him and performs a small ritual to ward off the evil eye. She also tries to catch his nose as she reminds him that he is the taker since he will be taking her daughter away and they are the givers.
Wedding rituals
Kanya Daan
The wedding rituals are performed in front of a sacred fire and conducted by the acharya. The rituals begin with the kanya daan. The bride is given away by her parents who abstain from eating to make themselves pure in body and mind for the occasion. Their folded hands reflect the hope that their son-in-law will take good care of their daughter and never cause her pain. They wash his feet as they believe that he is none other than the Hindu Lord, Vishnu, to whom they are handing over his rightful consort, the Goddess Laxmi in the form of their daughter.
Hasta Milap
In this ritual, the groom’s scarf or shawl is tied to the bride’s saree. This knot and the joined hands of the couple symbolise the union of two souls joined together in holy matrimony. The acharya chants mantras to invoke the blessings of Goddess Laxmi and Goddess Parvati for the saubhagyavrata or wife. The family and relatives present also come together to bless the couple and shower grains of rice and rose petals on them.
Pheras
The pheras or rounds around the sacred fire must begin now. The couple go around the fire as the acharya chants mantras. The groom also recites mantras which express his heart’s desire and seeks the loving support of his wife.
Saptapadi
The saptapadi or seven steps is another important ritual that makes up the wedding ceremony. The couple must go around the holy fire seven times. The groom chants mantras with each step. These are requests to his wife take good care of the house, cook wholesome and healthy meals for their family, be thrifty with money, be an understanding and supporting partner to him, etc. The bride promises to fulfill these requests.
Post-wedding rituals
Reception
The reception is usually held immediately after the wedding. It is an opportunity for relatives, friends and well-wishers to bless the newly weds, enjoy a sumptuous meal with them and give them gifts.
Vidaai
The bride is bid a tearful farewell by her parents, siblings, relatives and friends. It is a sad moment as she leaves in a specially decorated car for her new home.
Ghar nu Laxmi
The bride’s first step into her new home is considered auspicious. She is the “ghar nu laxmi” or the goddess Laxmi who will bring wealth and good fortune to her home. The mother-in-law places a vessel, filled to the brim with rice, at the entrance of the house. The bride must knock the vessel down gently with her right foot, spilling some of the rice over. The rice is a symbol of wealth and by following the ritual she conveys her full understanding of her duties responsibilities towards her new home.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by CareBear: *
I've been to a couple. A few hours in the morning which consist of the actual ceremony (usually in a temple, but sometimes they have it set up in a wedding hall.) The reception is later in the evening. It's just like a sikh wedding...including the dancing part. :-)
Hehe this is what I was talking about. NO dancing at my sister's wedding. Sometimes hard to mistake culture for religion.
Enjoy!!
[/QUOTE]
just to give some pizzazz to this thread Here is how a marriage from tribals in Arunchal Pradesh (state in India's remote Northeast). go. Only about 1% of India's population. The rituals include cow sacrifice and the giving of beer. Hehe could never imagine that in an Indian wedding I bet. India is truly a diverse nation.
Wedding in Arunachal Pradesh
The tribes of Arunachal Pradesh practice three different kinds of modes of acquiring brides-negotiation, exchange and abduction.
Once the marriage is finalised, different tribes practise different customs to confirm the marriage proposal. In the case of the Adi-gallong tribe, the groom's parents visit the bride's house with a barrel of apo, rice beer, dried squirrel, fish and meat as gifts. In the case of Tagin tribe, the marriage proposal is confirmed through the divination of hen's eggs and fowl's liver. The groom and his party reach the bride's place and the marriage is finalised with an exchange of beer.
The groom's parents sacrifice a mithun, (cow) under the sima tanganam ritual.
During the wedding the agam ceremony is performed with the bride beheading a hen and sprinkling its blood at the place of worship.
The priest sprays rice powder on the couple and recites incantations to ward off evil spirits.
At night, the agam ceremony is again performed at the groom's house following which the bride is accepted as a member of her husband's family.
In the Arunachali tribe of Tagin, the two parties stage a mock fight during the wedding ceremony and in the end the bridal party surrenders, signifying the earlier practice of winning bride by force.
After their marriage, the couple share food from the same dish in privacy for three consecutive days.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Majestic: *
^ wow thats sure a lot of parties.
[/QUOTE]
Indian weddings r usually long I think and in the past even longer. My sister's lasted for nearly 3 days! Not to mention the fact that I had to walk all around my father's village just to invite people. That was tiring.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by vivek: *
Indian weddings r usually long I think and in the past even longer. My sister's lasted for nearly 3 days! Not to mention the fact that I had to walk all around my father's village just to invite people. That was tiring.
[/QUOTE]
Thats funny walking around the village :)
Well if you think 3 days is long, man you should see Yemeni weddings ufffff. I mean its soo crazy, when you get engaged party, wedding time there are parties, it starts the first week of the wedding date, in some places early. Then after your married, there is one when you 'consumate' the marriage and then one when you get back from honeymoon. Come to think of it, they are crazy all these damn weddings. Thank God I do not follow them.