Re: hijab
Why not speak to him directly about how you feel? I think this goes a little bit beyond whether or not hijaab is mandatory or not.
As to whether hijaab is mandatory or not, different scholars have different theories. Depends on the way you take the word (correct me if I am wrong internet imams) "khimar" to mean. The translation I recall is something to the effect, "draw your veil over your bosoms and cover ornaments".
You can either take hair to be an ornament. Or not.
Some say that the part about covering bosoms includes the head. Some say it doesn't.
Also, some say a niqaab - covering the face - is necessary. Some say it isn't.
For some this is a controversial issue, for others it is not.
But in your situation, I dont think pulling an ayah out to show to your husband is going to ease your problems. You bring a scholarly article that says hijaab is not necessary, and he'll pull out one that says otherwise.
He's forcing you.
If he's actually not forcing you, why dont you try to not listen to him for once. If he says he doesnt like something you are wearing, then challenge him. You have every right to - afterall you wore jeans and went out with friends, etc before you married him and he married you KNOWING that this is how you were. Now he has to mature up and adjust to it.
Very hypocritical of him, especially when he doesn't force his own mom or sisters.