I am engaged (soon to be married) and my husband’s family side is a lot more religious than my family. They are expecting me to wear the Hijab, but I am sure they wont really care if I dont wear it, but I, myself, want to wear one once I enter their family.
The thing is, his family is kind of a hypocrite when it comes to wearing Hijab. I know I sound mean but I am just being straight so u guys get the idea. When I say hypocrite, I mean his sister would wear Hijab one day, and the next day she wont have it on. All his sisters friends r like that too. His mom n all his aunties do the same. I feel like if I start to wear the Hijab, I will not do a good job as it comes with strict responsibilities. I dont want to wear Hijab like they do. I want to be a true Hijabi if I choose to wear one. I feel like it is better to not wear Hijab at all, rather than wearing it one day and taking it off the next day. What do u guys think?
here’s a pic of how his sister wears Hijab (when she DOES wear it). It almost makes me angry to see that cuz this isnt really wearing it the wrong way, but it is also disrespecting such a significant symbol in Islam.
as u can see her hair is all sticking out so she can show off her bangs. I really feel bad abt this. I know I am NO ONE to judge but if they are going to expect me to wear the Hijab then they should first learn to wear it properly themselves. I have kinda talked to my hubby to be abt this and he always tends to ignore this topic whenever it comes up. I really feel like telling them that what they are doing is wrong.
"I feel like it is better to not wear Hijab at all, rather than wearing it one day and taking it off the next day. What do u guys think?"
I agree with you there sister. Only wear the hijab when you are 100% ready to wear the hijab. It is not good to wear the hijab and then take it off and then wear it again once you feel like it. It does not give a good impression about you to other people.
I hope you asked before you put up the pic? I know the face is edited but still, I wouldn't want my future bhabhi to be posting pics of me up on websites without my permission.
As for the hijab, wear it when you have no doubts in your heart about it.
If you want to take hijaab in the right way, who is stopping you from doing that? You are answerable for your deeds in ur grave and they are for theirs.
Your choice honey, what i feel is that…You do what you feel is right. About others, its their choice and their Imaan…if you tell them you are bad, if you dont tell them you feel bad. Its better you feel bad than become bad to a new family member…as it is, life is going to change after the wedding and new relations and new everything…think about and for yourself:)
Sometimes, i too feel like…arre yaar, i too wanna show off my hair. Then i think of the bigger reward Allah Taa’ala will bless me for my restraint and in trying to follow His command:D
So be very very very sure when you take this huge step…if you do, then do it with your whole heart:hugz:.
**Firstly , wearing hijab is your own decision and doing it "when you enter their family or AFTER you get married" shows how committed you are to that yourself. **
Pointing fingers at how others wear it doesn't make you less of a hypocrite . What they do and how they do it is their concern not yours and posting someone's pix bare-headed to prove your point reflects worse on you.
the decision to wear a hijab is a very big responsibility. you know you will get more gunnah for deciding to wearing hijab and then quitting it for any reason.
i would suggest you to not to make a decision to wear a hijab or not for your husband's family, you should do it ONLY for ALLAHTALA, and that is only when you will stick to your decision and respect it.
i wore hijab during my whole highschool life because of my parents, they made me. so what i used to do is to wear it to school and not to the desi parties. which was wrong. then few years ago i seriously started thinking about it, and decided to wore hijab only for ALLAHTALA, not for my parents, or anyone else. and when i did that the desire to show my hair and look pretty which i had before was gone and i was really happy with my hijab.
just couple of months ago i went to pakistan for my brother's wedding, and my aunts got really mad at me and my sister for our decision to wear hijab at the wedding. their point was that the wedding is segregated (it means, guys from our family will be allowed in women's section but not random ppl) but not everyone in my family is mehram to me, so i refused to show my hair even though i had to face a lot of opposition.
i don't think i could have done that if i was wearing it for my family, or husband's family (hypotheticaly speaking, i am not married)
if you want to start wearing hijab, read about it, what is the reason behind it in islam, what are the rewards from ALLAH, and other things, this is going to motivate you. until then, just be a modest muslim girl and don't fall in to the hypocisy of wearing hijab to show other ppl how good you are, but in your heart you want to show off your beautiful hair. (i don't mean you, i am just generally speaking)
a few things...firstly, you should probably remove that pic before she finds out about it somehow and then things really get ugly. secondly, i think it's great you want to start hijab by ur own choice and to wear it properly. i know a lot of girls who wear their hijabs only half way and have their bangs done and wear fitted clothing....and most of them have come to stop wearing hijab completely after a few years. there really is no sense in pretending to wear hijab when it's not in your heart...it just disrespects the whole concept of hijab. sounds like you want to do it for the right reasons so best of luck to you
Wear it when you are ready at your heart. Ready to do all the neccesary thing to wear a hijaab with respect which means no bodypainted clothes, no hair showing and no short sleeves sister. Dont do it for your husband, his family or just because you want people to say “wah kitne achi bahu hai, bilkul un jaise”
Watch this and please do show it to your SIL as well. Its kinda long, but have patience.
Wear hijab when YOU are good and ready. I've seen a rise in girls who have been wearing the hijab for years and all of a sudden take it off because they think the hijab only applies to the Prophet (S)'s wives.
You should abstain from saying anything to your in-laws. When and if you are ready to wear one, you will set an example for how the hijab should be worn, without saying anything to them. Either they'll take your example and wear it properly or they wont, dont let that concern you to much :)
InshAllah Allah (SWT) will guide you and bless you in all your decisions.
everyone thx a lot for ur input. as for the pic i removed it..i do feel really bad. i admitted in my post that i know i sound totally mean by even pointing as i am no one to judge but i just wanted to show u guys wat i meant when i said they dont wear it properly but u guys r absolutely right..i shouldnt have done that. but i did not hide posting this pic from my hubby to be. i told him abt it, he was a little upset with me but things r ok now. i have decided that i am going to wear the hijab..PROPERLY InshAllah. I hope I will be able to set an example for my in laws as well and I am doing it from my heart for Allah and also for the happiness of my husband because in Islam it is the duty of a woman to make her husband happy.
Thanks guys for all ur input. I really appreciate it.
the decision to wear a hijab is a very big responsibility. you know you will get more gunnah for deciding to wearing hijab and then quitting it for any reason.
i would suggest you to not to make a decision to wear a hijab or not for your husband's family, you should do it ONLY for ALLAHTALA, and that is only when you will stick to your decision and respect it.
i wore hijab during my whole highschool life because of my parents, they made me. so what i used to do is to wear it to school and not to the desi parties. which was wrong. then few years ago i seriously started thinking about it, and decided to wore hijab only for ALLAHTALA, not for my parents, or anyone else. and when i did that the desire to show my hair and look pretty which i had before was gone and i was really happy with my hijab.
just couple of months ago i went to pakistan for my brother's wedding, and my aunts got really mad at me and my sister for our decision to wear hijab at the wedding. their point was that the wedding is segregated (it means, guys from our family will be allowed in women's section but not random ppl) but not everyone in my family is mehram to me, so i refused to show my hair even though i had to face a lot of opposition.
i don't think i could have done that if i was wearing it for my family, or husband's family (hypotheticaly speaking, i am not married)
if you want to start wearing hijab, read about it, what is the reason behind it in islam, what are the rewards from ALLAH, and other things, this is going to motivate you. until then, just be a modest muslim girl and don't fall in to the hypocisy of wearing hijab to show other ppl how good you are, but in your heart you want to show off your beautiful hair. (i don't mean you, i am just generally speaking)
I dont understand. shouldn't they be HAPPY that u were actually wearing a Hijab and setting a good example for their kids? Y were they opposing it?
OMG thanks for that! LOL. his video was funny and to the point! i LOVE it. Im sending this to my fiancee!
I had a good laugh while learning something really significant!
I dont understand. shouldn't they be HAPPY that u were actually wearing a Hijab and setting a good example for their kids? Y were they opposing it?
i guess they were feeling that i am doing something which is better than what their kids were doing (i am not bragging, it's just what i felt like) they didn't wanted me or my sister to stand out in a good way, and people comparing us to their kids kay daikho america mai rehtay hoay hijab pehna hai orr in logon nay pakistan mai rehtay hoay galay mai dupatta dala hai.
or maybe they just don't believe in wearing hijab, but they do wear chaddar on their head when going to school, college, work, or shopping, but i guess they don't think weddings required one.
honestly, it was very upsetting and heartbreaking. i am still hurt over their behavior
everyone thx a lot for ur input. as for the pic i removed it..i do feel really bad. i admitted in my post that i know i sound totally mean by even pointing as i am no one to judge but i just wanted to show u guys wat i meant when i said they dont wear it properly but u guys r absolutely right..i shouldnt have done that. but i did not hide posting this pic from my hubby to be. i told him abt it, he was a little upset with me but things r ok now. i have decided that i am going to wear the hijab..PROPERLY InshAllah. I hope I will be able to set an example for my in laws as well and I am doing it from my heart for Allah and also for the happiness of my husband because in Islam it is the duty of a woman to make her husband happy.
Thanks guys for all ur input. I really appreciate it.
ohh wow good 2 hear that u r going to wear it first for haqeeqe khuda then for mijazy khuda...thumbs up for u gurl.....i wish u good luck n dont get upset we know why u said all those things .n above all do wat u feel is right dont look at others.n pray for me i want 2 start hijaab too i dont know wat im waiting for?
As someone who wore the hijab because of her parents and then went through a phase of no dupatta even.... and now wearing hijab and trying to maintain hijab in clothes as well all I can say is you are going to be tested at each and every point...be it the desi community or the non-desi community.... And if you are wearing it to please a human being ... there will be many times when you will try to convince him to let you take off the hijab or do it the 'modern' way... but if you have done it for Allah's sake then you will remain steadfast in it...even though it might be tough... :)
May Allah guide us all.... and help us in maintaining our hijabs in all aspects of our lives. Aameen
"I feel like it is better to not wear Hijab at all, rather than wearing it one day and taking it off the next day. What do u guys think?"
I agree with you there sister. Only wear the hijab when you are 100% ready to wear the hijab. It is not good to wear the hijab and then take it off and then wear it again once you feel like it. It does not give a good impression about you to other people.
hilarious! Loved it. Brilliant way of getting the message across aswell.