Hello all.
I have worn the hijab for a number of years now and have often wondered whether I should take it off. The main reason, is that when it comes to rishtaas, most guys and their families request to see girls who do not wear hijab. For so long, it didn’t bother me until recently, when I began to question why the hijab was such a put off. I realised that people were judging me to be too religious, party pooper type person, which was not my personality at all. That potential mother in laws would just take me at face value or nationality value (when I was in Pakistan as I’m a Brit) but really didn’t get to know me as a person.
So, I am now thinking of taking it off, but worry about the backlash that people will throw my way, especially potential rishte who might think ill of me since I have taken it off.
Any comments or words of wisdom, or better still, anyone going/gone through this?
My family are educated and supportive of the choices I make, which is good, but you can’t control what others think.
Re: Hijab and marriage
I suppose I could say I’ve been through something similar. I’ve kept a beard since college time and had people tell me that most people would find it objectionable. I didn’t listen and 
got married to someone who accepted me as I was. In terms of principles, I would say that I wouldn’t want my daughter married into a family that had problems with the concept of the hijab and had the issues that you’ve mentioned about it and especially that type of aversion to religiousness.
Re: Hijab and marriage
I’m sorry OP you have to go through this and you shouldnt. I firmly believe everyone has a right to choose and keep the way they are and whatever they want. You can carryon with hijab and you can leave it but only if “you” want, not because others want it. Just remember the people who judge or stereotype will find some other reason to judge you.
In the end do what pleases yourself not others.
Re: Hijab and marriage
There’s red flags right there. I know of women who wear the hijab, British too, and got married even in England itself to good partners. The moment you become something you’re not, to attract people and settle for less than your standards, the moment others will feel that they can keep doing that to you and target your insecurities & weaknesses. In my honest opinion, if you take the hijab by heart and adhere to the rulings steadfastly, then don’t compromise or settle for anything less.
Anyone who sees you as anything less, because of your Hijab, will continue to have issues with you over the time period, for one reason or another, once the sweet honeymoon period is over. This is what happens when you let go of your own individuality, to suit someone’s perceptions about how you should be, how you should dress etc. Not saying that there aren’t compromises etc made in making marriages work, but when the base of a marriage is set on you giving up a lot, your moral values, your ethical standards, your religious beliefs, then that’s a hard bargain to make.
I believe you shouldn’t go for people that don’t want you to wear Hijab, or look at your nationality, not you - but wait for the right person. The right person does eventually come along and will accept you for who you are.
Re: Hijab and marriage
Thank you all for your kind words.
I guess for me, I wore the hijab for so long and have only recently realised that I will still be a good Muslim even when I’m not wearing it. I guess the rishta scene or lack of should I say, has brought this realisation to the surface .
Re: Hijab and marriage
Wearing hijab is a huge sacrifice and commitment to Allah and you’re mA so strong in doing so. I think there are times in life where your emaan has ups and downs and we get tested in many ways. Like all the others have mentioned stick to your faith and core fundamentals and Allah has a way of giving us what is best for us, when the time is right. Often times we are in a rush to get things and get frustrated and as hard as it may be, remember to stay patient and steadfast in prayer. Allah is just weeding out everyone that is not right for you so when the right person does come along we are more grateful and appreciative of them. Good luck! 
Re: Hijab and marriage
If you are wearing Hijab to please Allah and because you firmly believe in it, then you don’t need to take it off.
Its just a matter of time when a person having same beliefs as yours, will cross your path so be patient. There are lot of people who actually prefer hijab/purdah observing girls so hang in there.
Re: Hijab and marriage
Lots of good advice above. Stick to your principles and if your hijab is for your lord and him alone, don’t compromise for anyone else. You’ll get your dream partner inshallah who loves you for the way you are and will appreciate you ‘saving’ or ‘keeping’ it all for him. Stay strong. X
Re: Hijab and marriage
This is just an example, and little as it amy seem.. but think of it this way..
The apple is your favorite fruit. Yet, everytime you go to the grocery store, you only see bad apples, bad enough that you cannot eat it. Does this mean you give on apples and never eat them again? Simply because the ones you have come across were rotten?
No. You wait for the supply of good apples, whenever they may turn up, or you go to other grocery stores to find them.
So, just because you have come across rishtas that disapprove of your hijab, does not mean you have to compromise and take it off. Your hijab shouldn’t have anything to do with other people, it’s for your religion, for Allah, for yourself. Plenty of people (think non-muslims) may frown upon it for whatever reason, would you take it off? I’m guessing no for arguments sake. Same thing applies to potential rishtas.
Re: Hijab and marriage
There is a family I know who are looking for a rishta for their young daughter who also wears hijab and the number of rejections she has had which are based on the factvthat she wears hijab is just ridiculous. I actually had a chat with her the other day about it and she said that she doesn’t care if they reject her because if her hijab because if they reject her on just something that you see then they aren’t the right people for her anyways. Don’t compromise your values for anyone else. Allah will give you the best inshallah when you stick with Him. May Allah make it easy for everyone looking for a spouse and grant them the best of spouses who will be a means for them to enter Jannah. Ameen.
Re: Hijab and marriage
Thanks once again for all your supportive messages. Much appreciated!