Ok it has taken me this long to spell this out here but i really really need help. I have developed this fear of driving on the highway for the past few months. I had it before but not as bad. Hubby thinks its my pregnancy hormones making it seem worse than it is. But i seriously feel stressed out just by the thought of driving on the highway. The problem is it cant be avoided. I HAVE to travel on the highway for about 30-35 miles to get to school twice a week. And i know its stupid but i dont know how to get over it. Any ideas, suggestions etc? Please, serious replies only, this is a very tough and serious situation for me to be in. I dont want to not be able to finish my degree just because i am scared of driving on the highway. I go real slow in the right lane and just get all scared when people are passing me. It doesnt help that its only a two lane highway going to MN and is a very busy one at that. I do fine while driving in the city.
Please, please help me out and give me some suggestions and/or duas if possible. I am driving myself nuts here, no pun intended.
why in the world are you driving while you are pregnant. isn''T that dangerous. espeically considering how much stress this puts on you. you poor dear.
The best cure of all kinds of phobias is to face them. That is the technique psychologists use. Since you drive down to your school only two days in a week that is making it difficult for you to handle this phobia. I would suggest you drive to your school for at least 2 weeks daily , with your hubby besides you. Since it is 35 minutes drive only you and he should be able to take some time out every day for next two weeks. That will help you overcome this phobia.
It is common sense solution and it works for all kinds of phobias. I have personal experience.
ok honestly even I thought you were scared because of the baby but looks like you already had the symptoms! What exactly are you scared of?? Is it the speed? careless drivers on the road??
I dunno if Mirch's idea would work or not.. since you know my animal phobia, to help me overcome it, my cousins threw chicken on me(yes literally), made me enter the room with a cat in it, left me in the house with parakeets, n last but not least my family kept a pet dog..all these instances made it even worse for me.. I never got over my phobia.. I am still paranoid so dun count too much on that theory!!:
Mirch bhai, I have this Phobia of wild hungry lions & going into High voltage (in sveral KV) confined places. Should I face these phobias..
Ira:- I think it has more to do with your natural maternal instincts, now you are more protective (a bit extra carefull in this case actually) The best option would be to avoid driving if you can. ask your hubby or some other family member to drop you off.
On mapquest.com there is always an option "avoid highways" you can find the way to your work without highway.But the only drawback is that it takes much longer then you can imagine.
Mirch is right....the more often you drive on highway the better you would be....I get to drive once in a blue moon like once or twice a month :D on the highway and trust me I go through exactly same thing. Specially when those huge trucks pass by it is the worse feeling.
But if you are pregnant....i would not recommend you put yourself through high stress and intense fear.
You could try and avoid highways by using inner roads.
Ive got this fear of driving on highways because I was in a very bad accident when I was about 19 yrs old and I cant get over it no matter what I do.
I avoid it as much as possible but if I cant then I stay in the right lane, dont go over 60 mph and always make sure Im never driving in a pack of cars. At all times, I make sure if something goes wrong, I can have an "out". This makes me feel a little safer.
Ira, I had the same fear.
I've had my license for 7 yrs but never owned a car so I just drove once in a blue moon.
One year prior to getting my license I was involved in a car accident on the highway (as a passenger).
Now a while back when my husband pushed me to drive the car more often I knew it was time to 'face my fears'. I was fine driving in town and stuff but highway was a big nono. So then I booked 2 lessons with an instructor who was specialised in 'dealing with fear/trauma's/anxiety while drving'. We did two long lessons on the highway and alhamdulillah I actually enjoyed it.
After those 2 lessons I drove with my husband sitting next to me, he gave me a few pointers too and made sure I checked the mirrors a few times while overtaking and now I am fine :-)
I got my license late in life and the bottom line was that I was petrified of driving. And forget abt driving on highways all I wanted to do was scream when I saw cars racing past me... I tried to get over this fear by going at times when the flow of traffic was less, and initially during heavy traffic times I would even have my blinkers on so that I could drive at the slow pace that I wanted to. Do keep reading dua-e-safar, ayat ul kursi and for the longest time I didn't even switch on the radio so that I would have no distractions whatsoever. Do keep us posted on how ur progress is coming along..it will take some time and a lot of patience but it can be done. Good luck dear...
Ok it has taken me this long to spell this out here but i really really need help. I have developed this fear of driving on the highway for the past few months. I had it before but not as bad. Hubby thinks its my pregnancy hormones making it seem worse than it is. But i seriously feel stressed out just by the thought of driving on the highway. The problem is it cant be avoided. I HAVE to travel on the highway for about 30-35 miles to get to school twice a week. And i know its stupid but i dont know how to get over it. Any ideas, suggestions etc? Please, serious replies only, this is a very tough and serious situation for me to be in. I dont want to not be able to finish my degree just because i am scared of driving on the highway. I go real slow in the right lane and just get all scared when people are passing me. It doesnt help that its only a two lane highway going to MN and is a very busy one at that. I do fine while driving in the city.
Please, please help me out and give me some suggestions and/or duas if possible. I am driving myself nuts here, no pun intended.
Ira, its something that many people face. The only thing you have to do is not to think too much the whole driving part of it. One way the counter that is by developing a habit of listening to radio and listening to news. Make a cd of songs that used to like when you were high school or even in younger age, what that will do is it will take ur mind off driving and u will feel less intimidated
What are you scared of? What degree was this fear at before you were pregnant? Obviously now you are more conscious. Anyways, think of it as a routine. You want to provide your future child the best life possible, for that you have to work hard (study) and not let these little fears stop you. Just think of your future child. Insh'Allah all be will be fine.
Other possible suggestions you maybe thought of.. switch schools, public transport maybe, online classes?
Yes you should that will be rid you of that phobia forever.
Na marz rahay ga na mareez.
First of all the kind of phobia she has this is the only way she can overcome it , by facing it.
She cannot keep herself locked inside the house forever and stay dependent on others to drive to places.
If you read her post carefully you will find out that her phobia is not just because of being pregnant. She had it before she got pregnant .
haimeradil, thank you for your concern but i have to finish teh semester i am taking.
Mirch, thank you so much for your advice. I think i am going to do that with hubs next to me.
It was something that happened last year i think but i am not sure if its related. I was going pretty fast and almost lost control of my car but didnt, ALhamdulillah.
Xeno, at this time its not practical for my husband to drop him off. And i hate to be so dependent on him, i am not that kind of person. Not to say tht he hasnt looked into other options for me.
Ume, worse comes to work, i might give that a try. hubby looked up a way for me last week.
Jal pari, i cant quit now, i dont wnat to quit. The semester is almost 5 weeks till finals.
Psquared, thank you for your concerns. You didnt scare me at all. The other day, some other lady who couldnt control her car and hit the side blocks really hard almost hit my car (she was in the fast lane and i was in the slow lane). Shukar hai bachat hogayi. Alhamdulillah no one was hurt. I surprisingly took that really well.
Shay, i do that yaar,i recite ayat ul kursi, charoun qul, astaghfar etc. Also keep listening to either the radio or quran.
Shinoo, that class doesnt sound like a bad idea. Can you share some pointers with me via PM when you get a chance?
sadi79, thank you for your kind words. I will post back here in a few weeks as to what is working if its w orking.
Nikema, i keep listening to either quran or the radio while driving but still some days its just bad
cricket, i mentioned above as to when i think the phobia started. I almost lost control of my car once and i think i realised i coul dhave killed someone. Alhamdulillah no one was hurt. I think it started then but i am not sure. I have been freaking out after summer, when i got pregnant. And call me whatever, but i dont wnat to quit school because i am afraid. I want to fix this. I love my school, i love doing what i do. I dont want to a chicken and throw all this away and have to tell my kids 10 years down the road how mommy couldnt finish her degree because she was afraid of driving. Even now it sounds pathetic
Guys you all are awesome. I think i am going to take up Mirch;s idea and drive on short stretches with hubs next to me. I think what scares me alot also is that the exits are so far spaced and i dont have an exit strategy. So i sty on the right in case i want to stop. Meanwhile, i just have to plug it along twice a week. Hopefully i can overcome this stupid fear soon.
When you are driving, make sure you are not too close to the car in front, behind or on the side. IF (Nauzubillah) something were to go wrong, you have a way out of the situation by simple veering a little to the left or right. It will make you feel tons better when you dont have a lot of traffic around you.
Ok it has taken me this long to spell this out here but i really really need help. I have developed this fear of driving on the highway for the past few months. I had it before but not as bad. Hubby thinks its my pregnancy hormones making it seem worse than it is. But i seriously feel stressed out just by the thought of driving on the highway. The problem is it cant be avoided. I HAVE to travel on the highway for about 30-35 miles to get to school twice a week. And i know its stupid but i dont know how to get over it. Any ideas, suggestions etc? Please, serious replies only, this is a very tough and serious situation for me to be in. I dont want to not be able to finish my degree just because i am scared of driving on the highway. I go real slow in the right lane and just get all scared when people are passing me. It doesnt help that its only a two lane highway going to MN and is a very busy one at that. I do fine while driving in the city.
Please, please help me out and give me some suggestions and/or duas if possible. I am driving myself nuts here, no pun intended.
Recite Ayaul Kursi and print out the "safar ki dua" from teh internet and put it in teh car. worked wonders for me.When i sued to be scared while driving I recited the ayaal kursi and other duas constantly till I reached my destination. It worked wonders for me!1 Try it!!
i've been in two accidents (the first was on the road and i ended up injured, and the other one was on the highway and our car spun out of control and stopped facing oncoming traffic), and i've got the same fear now- i just don't like driving on the highway. i'm jumpy and constantly watching out for other cars, and don't even get me started on shoulder checks. i try to avoid it as much as i can but sometimes its unavoidable. :(
where can i find the safar ki dua online? i need it in my car! i start off with 4 qul's and ayat al kursi when i drive anywhere.
ask your hubby or some other family member to drop you off.
