HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

Here is a very serious answer:

When it comes to marriage, use your BRAIN.

1) I don't know how old you are but you wrote he's younger by you but quite a bit. How old is he? How much longer do you want to wait for him to be ready for marriage? Or despite being "quite a bit" younger than you, do you believe he's ready for marriage now?

2) He "likes" another girl....but he stroked you hair while you were there??!! So tell me this.........if he tells you that he likes you, would you be ok with him stroking another girls hair?

3) This is the #1 thing. You said he's not educated. You're in the UK and I assume you plan in staying in the UK. If you marry this guy and bring him to UK, what type of job will he do? Or will you support him for years while he finishes his education and find a job?

Crushes are fine.....but when you're thinking about a potential husband......use your brain and stop focusing on silly teenage details like him storking your hair or glancing at you. Ask yourself whether or not he is ready to be a good husband/father.

22

Re: HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

Thanks Paheli - And everyone else.

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Re: HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

As for the other girl he said he broke it off - to more than just me! Anyway - I didn't know what to make of the situation - its a bit weird. But will see.

Thanks for the input. I do need grow up. Its ironic cos its the exact same situation - you are right. But I need marry in a particular caste and - to me getting on with someone is a major part of marriage - however you are right the same reasons I didn't are still here. But I do get on with him - which was never the case of the other cousin.

Anyway! Thanks guys.

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Re: HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

If you think your parents and your cousins' parents won't have any problem with the proposal (including age and education issues), then you should keep in touch with him and see if he is really interested in you. Try to talk about that other girl to know how serious he is about her. If things proceed between you and him and you are able to identify any chances of a future with him, then you can ask him to get his parents involved and let them talk to your parents. When your parents get to know about this, you can convey your liking to them for your cousin.

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Re: HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

Why isn't he educated? Because he didn't bother with it (and still doesn't care about it) or because he hasn't got to that point yet ( if he's just old enough to go to college, he wouldn't have had the chance to go through university yet)?

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Re: HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

OP....if you get along fine with him.....and he is a nice guy.....you can like convince him to focus on education n stuff......force him to come to the UK and get him educated there.....he will have a good career if he is educated in UK....

P.S......Disclaimer.....He might be a typical pakistani man after all

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Re: HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

Fat Spartan - I don't think hes much bothered - plus he went into education late - had some health problems etc. But hes ok now. He would be finishing uni etc. But yeah. I dunno - I feel bit weirded out by the situation. So I think will just keep in touch as friends. And see what happens.

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Re: HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

Thanks Nomi - good idea. Will see what happens. :) Could just be me being a complete airhead (Nothing new) LOL

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Re: HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

*You barely know the guy.
*You admit both you and he are childish.
*He also has feelings for another girl.
*You live on and have grown up in separate continents.

I'd wait this one out. If you get to know each other better and your feelings persist, you can pursue it. For now, it seems like you'd be entering a mess.

It's fun to flirt, but you need to be careful, especially when it's family and things can escalate quickly. And I think you are looking for a way out of your life with your parents. Marriage to a stranger is not the answer.

30

Re: HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

Like others have said best wait it out.. If it's just a crush obviously those feelings will disappear in time now you're back to 'normality'..

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Re: HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

Heyyyy girlfriennn', this is like SO totally awesomeee. OMG OMG OMG your little crush is sho cute!!!

On a slightly different note, the dude is either really childish, like you said he is, OR he has ermm freesome fantasies, knowmsayin? Whats with the hair stroking on one side and a love story on the other side. And you, love, got some growing up to do.

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Re: HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

LOL @ Jaanwar - as always thanks for the dose of reality guys. Will wait it out.

Thank you for the advice.

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Re: HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

Anytime sweetness. You know where to find me. :flower1:

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Re: HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

aw poor you. You mum walked in right in the middle of you purring.

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Re: HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

:) I think you are very young. Whatever you have mentioned seems more like a crush. It's ok if you just want to have some nice time dreaming and having that fuzzy feeling all around but believe me you are not ready to get married to any one at this point in time

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Re: HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

ok, once or twice is ok.

but this is insane…i dont like drama queen girls :naraz:

boysboysboysboys

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Re: HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

I would suggest that you should wait a little bit.
The way you're explaining shows he has some interest in you, but again he tells you he loves another girl. It can be confusing, but don't fall in love with him cuz I don't want you to get hurt. I think he still needs to grow up a little bit.
And I don't think you should tell your parents right now.
Good luck!

38

Re: HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

How exactly are you related as cousins? Are you able to talk to your parents about this and are they OK with his parents?

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Re: HEY! I am baccckkk! & other issues (hehe)

He's not marriage material. Have some bloody standards, wouldja! Marriage -- it's for a LONG TIME if not forever.

Marry someone who improves you. Someone who inspires you. Someone who brings out the best in you. Someone you can look up to. Marry someone who can take care of you. An unpaRh cannot and is not any of those things. Don't marry a baccha. Don't marry someone you have to help grow up.

Marriage is not a game. It's a venture and an adventure for grown-ups! If you are not a grown up (and if you think a much younger guy is suitable for you, you are not a grown up), then you are yourself not marriage material)