… so i read some of the posts here in life1, how their sis’s or bro’s aren’t close to their heart anymore.
and pluse i’ve seen this in some of my far apart families also.
soo i was just wondring, how is it possbile for blood related siblings to dislike eachother… like i don’t understand that. for ex: me and my brother fight a lot and we may not talk to eachother for mmany days but obviously we love each other and it’s impossible we never talk to eachother again.
and in some of my far apart families i’ve seen that, when the kids were little they got along very well, but once they all got married, they were never so close to eachother, they had fights and never looked back and never talked to their siblings for years and years.
so like how is it possible for real blood related siblings to go that far away from their bro/sis?
for example i have a aunt and she has a older bro and whenever she talks to him she always thinks before saying something… like why? she acts like she’s talkin to someone totally starnger. she’s alwayz like " i dunnu if i should say this to him…or if he will not ike this or what if his wife minds it." like whata heck
when i get older and get married even, i will never be like that… i wouldn’t ever think soo much before talking to my own brother… i’ve obviously known him for all my life.
yes ofcourse it’s different when you know if he or she dislikes something or gets mad about something… then obviously you dont say it, but what i was saying earlier is not like this, thats totally different. thats more like your talking to a stranger and your kinda scared of saying something wrong.
i dunnu it’s just weird to me. anywayz plz put your thoughts down.
Alysha, you know when you talk your brother knows what you mean? Like if you are being sarcastic, or your feelings are hurt, basically he can pick up your emotion from what you are saying.
In my experience siblings who were once close go far away because of the understanding that is put to the words. Like when your bro gets married, you both would still understand what the other is saying but your bhabi might interpret your words differently and if your brother starts to believe what your bhabi is saying then misunderstandings will increase. Instead if your brother tells your bhabi that this is not what my sister meant, then I misunderstandings will not increase.
Your aunt might be facing such an issue where things are interpreted in a different way and that is why it is making your aunt think so much.
I'd be pretty lost without my brother in my life. We've been there for each other through a lot and even though we used to fight a lot, the love never goes away. But every family has a different dynamic with different experiences, so sometimes things may happen to cause a rift, which only gets deeper. It's life. Stuff happens.
I'd be pretty lost without my brother in my life. We've been there for each other through a lot and even though we used to fight a lot, the love never goes away. But every family has a different dynamic with different experiences, so sometimes things may happen to cause a rift, which only gets deeper. It's life. Stuff happens.
^ This...exactly!! I also come from an extremely, close knit family, and could not have EVER imagined that I would be distanced from my eldest sister! However, life takes us all on different paths. My Api chose to live her life in such a manner that took her down a very lonely path. Despite being raised in the same house by the same parents and support structure, she is very different from us other siblings. It's not just me she's far from, our khallas, mamoos, nani, cousins etc are all in the same boat. We miss her in our lives, and also are infuriated by her lack of common sense at times, but at the end of the day, she's a grown ass woman who made her bed, and know has to lie in it. I have faith that this too, shall pass and someday soon I'll have her back in my life in some capacity.
me n my brother r very close alhumdulillah,I m sure he will be there for me inshallah no matter what.
In my view our siblings r someone who may understand us much better than anyone other bcoz they also had
spent there childhood in same conditions,have same parents.
They r our friends who will be with us all our life inshallah ,but that closeness should be nurtured in our upbringing
Too often in these cases dislike is confused with hurt/anger.
I don't think it's possible to dislike your siblings, but you can certainly be hurt or angered by their actions or words to such an extent that you need to cut off ties.
So how do you explain unmarried people who fight with their siblings and stop talking to them?
Different families have different family dynamics, mentalities and reasonings. It's not always as simple as "my hubby doesn't like my brother cos he's a la funga and a bad influence on the kids cos he keeps giving them pot".
Siblings doesnt mean you have to agree or be all lovey dovey with each other. Why do desis have this misconception? Seriously, just look at all the desi families around you, 95 % of them have some sort of problem with their siblings. Yeah you can blame it all on the spouse etc. but deep down we all know, desis just suck at maintaining a relationship past their teens.
Siblings doesnt mean you have to agree or be all lovey dovey with each other. Why do desis have this misconception? Seriously, just look at all the desi families around you, 95 % of them have some sort of problem with their siblings. Yeah you can blame it all on the spouse etc. but deep down we all know, desis just suck at maintaining a relationship past their teens.
We have great family, there is no doubt would stand by each other. But there are always things effect the relationship, one has divorced the wife left 2 children in lurch. I hate it now has minimum contact with him (although we do talks and he respect me as elder bro).
Another one moved up too fast on social ladder now has certain type of arrogance and matter of factness when he speaks.
Our relation are a bit cooler but we still loves each other and would standby each other whatever may come.
I'm only talking about desi people here, but since you did bring it up.
Lets make it clear that the desi conception is that gorey people are not good at relationship as us tada ... but then again, gorey are not hypocrites like us. They dont pretend to go "ga-ga" over their siblings and their issues, hence usually have a much healthier approach to the relationship business compared to desi folks. And now you may argue all you can about how awful they're that they put their parents in nursery home or what. I would gladly be in a nursery home with peace than at home with my son and DIL and everyday drama seen as a disease by DIL - tic-tac - Life1
that life changes after the marriage and so do the people, cannot be denied. Relationships multiply and attentions are divided so sometimes its difficult to manage relationships like before. Physical distances also matter. Living in the same home and fighting daily is better than living away and hence not communicating much. That being said, all this and whatnot should nt take away the love and pull for your siblings, and if it does, maybe you werent blessed with it in the very first place.