Laloo becomes PM (if you haven’t cut your throat yet, read on) and goes to Pakistan for a one-on-one with Pervez Musharraf. They decide to meet without aides and are closeted for about 5 minutes.
Laloo then emerges from the room. Reporters clamour for a statement. “Pervezbhai will make the announcement” is all Laloo will say.
Musharraf comes out and drops a bombshell - Pakistan has decided to give up all claims on Kashmir, with no strings attached!
The world is stunned. Laloo has achieved in 5 minutes what others had failed to in 50 years! How did you do it, what did you promise, the press clamours.
“Sab akai-waalon ka kamaal hai,” (All because of the Akai company people) says Laloo.
"Who kehte hain na, TV loge tho fridge doonga, video khareedein to cellphone free
(They give fridge free if you buy TV, cellphone free if you buy VCR )
… tho ham bhi Pervezbhai se keheth diye: “aapko Kasmir chaahiye na? Le jaayie. Magar saath mein Bihar free milega, bas!” (SO, I said to Pervezbhai - “You want Kashmir, right? Take it. But you will get Bihar free with it!”)
Laloo and Bill Gates
Bill Gates : Namaskar! you must have heard of Windows.
Laloo : Oh yes! most govt. offices we have the single window clearance concept.
Gates : Have you installed Windows at home?
Laloo : I have removed all windows due to increased burgalaries in our house.
Gates(Confused): Then what is the system you operate on?
Laloo : OPERATION ? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month.
Gates(Sweating) : Hope the internet is being used a lot in India.
Laloo: Oh Yes! Due to increased moquito problems many people are sleeping under the net.
Gates: By the year 2002 India should export computer chips.
Laloo: We are already exporting Uncle Chips.
Gates(Feeling very Uneasy): do you regularly use LapTops?
Laloo: My grand-child sleeps on the top of my lap.
Gates(Sweating Heavily): The Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh knows a lot about RAM and ROM.
Laloo : RUM? Prohibition is being lifted and it will be shortly available in A.P.
Gates(Feeling Dizzy): I would like to take your leave before my system crashes.
Laloo: I have exhausted all my leave. Gates: I have no energy left, let us go out and have a bite.
Laloo: BITE? I believe in non-violence. I will not bite.
Gates: (System Crashes and Found Missing). "Windows is restarting.Please
100 Percent Laloo Yadav
Once laloo went to the US to visit his counterpart. When the senator invited him home for dinner, the Laloo was very impressed by the lavish mansion, grounds and the costly furnishings.
He asked “How can you afford all this on a meagre senator’s salary?”
The sentaor smiled knowingly and took him to the window.
“Can you see the river?”
“Yes”
“Can you see the bridge over it?”
“Of course”, said Laloo.
“10 percent”, said the senator smugly.
Some time later, the senator had occasion to pay a return visit. The Indian minister (Laloo) lavished all hospitality on him.
When they came to his house,the American was stunned by the huge palace Laloo had built, glittering with precious art, hundreds of servants etc etc.
“How can you possibly afford this, on a salary in Indian Rupees”, he asked.
The Laloo called him to the window.
“See the river over there?”
“Sure”, cried the senator.
“Can you see the bridge over it?”
The senator looked, was confused, peered closely and said
“No, I don’t see any bridge.”
“100 percent”, said Laloo !!
Laloo in Wonderland
Raabri was worried whether or not Laloo upon his death made it to heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance. Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, Laloo’s voice was heard answering, “Hello Raabri, this is meeee…”
“Lalooji,” she answered. I just have to know if you’re happy there in the afterlife. What’s it like there?"
“Ooooooh, it’s much more beautiful here than I ever imagined,” Laloo answered. “The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected and above all there is no scam. And the only thing we do, all day long, are eat and sleep, eat and sleep, over and over.”
“Thank God, you made it to heaven,” his Raabri cried.
“Heaven?” he answered. “What heaven? I’m a buffalo in Punjab.”
Laloo and Rubber
A TV journalist asks Lalooji “How come u have 9 children ??”
Lalooji replies “Woh kya hai ki main rubber se jyada rabri ko use kiya hoon”
