Re: Helping someone getting over someone
Umm…she’s 21. Why is her mother wanting her to pick a rishta asap?! What does her dad say?
As for introducing her to new guys…that is the WORST thing for her right now. She will NOT be happy with another guy until she’s completely over this guy.
Do nothing. Give her time to heal and be there if she asks for help.
Re: Helping someone getting over someone
^^^ 21, for a girl she is in her prime according to Paki/Muslim mentality. All these Muslim guys always want wives under 25.
That's probably why her mom is so worried.
Re: Helping someone getting over someone
Edal, So I have a year left before I'm doomed. thanks Edal! where would I be without you.
Ditto to rest of threads....giver her time, she needs to know life will move on if she gives it a chance.
Re: Helping someone getting over someone
^^^ 21, for a girl she is in her prime according to Paki/Muslim mentality.** All** these Muslim guys always want wives under 25.
That's probably why her mom is so worried.
I know quite a few girls who married Paki/Muslim men when they (the girls) were in their late 20's/early 30's (and yes, the men are desi/Muslim too). My own best friend (a paki Muslim girl) married her husband (a Paki/Muslim guy) at 27. Heck my mother married my father when she was 29. I'm about to attend a wedding next month in which the bride is 28 and the groom is 33 (both desi and Muslim).
Oh and just for the record....the marriages I'm referring to above are all 1st time marriages (for both the girl and the guy).
So no...not "all" Muslim guys "always" want wives under 25.
Re: Helping someone getting over someone
^ Do you have an issue with reading comprehension? My use of the word "All" does not imply every single one counted down to the last.
I meant the overall general mentality, that's why her mom and a lot of Pakistani parents start to freak out when girls reach that age.
The sorry part is you know exactly what I meant.
Re: Helping someone getting over someone
According to the dictionary:
The word “All” means “the whole of” or “everything”.
Had you used the word “general” in your previous post, it would better “imply” what you meant. 
Re: Helping someone getting over someone
In everyday spoken language the word "all" does not have to mean everything.
When I say "all the Pakistanis were at Wal mart for the cheap sale" doesn't mean "every single Pakistani" , nor will the listener interpret it as such.
So :P,and you know this.
Re: Helping someone getting over someone
^That’s how stereotyping begins…with the use of words such as “all”. Both negative and positive stereotypes are harmful. 
Re: Helping someone getting over someone
^ Every stereotype has some truth to it, some are spot on!
Re: Helping someone getting over someone
^Yes but by perpetuating this inaccurate belief, you contribute to the unfair pressure placed on women (and men). So maybe realize that your words carry weight, that what you put out into the world has consequences, and think about implications before you make a statement.
Re: Helping someone getting over someone
aww.give her a hug and tell her shes pretty.
Re: Helping someone getting over someone
It happens, and she's gonna go through a weird period for some time. That guy was probably her best friend or one of her best friends so you should step in to help fill that void. keep her socially busy and surround her by family and friends that love her and value her because right now she's probably wondering why she wasn't good enough for it to work. She's also probably kicking herself in the ass for refusing rishtas during her 2 year relationship. She also may feel so bad that she becomes desperate for love and may fall for the next guy that's nice to her. Or worse settle for the next rishta that doesn't make her happy but could provide a comfortable life for her. I have seen girls have their hearts broken and just agree to marry the next guy mom and dad brings home only to regret it a year later while pregnant with a husband she doesn't have anny passion for, just gratitude. Just make sure that doesn't happen and plan girl nights. Also at night she's most likely praying a lot. praying for him to change his mind, praying for god to bring her "mr. right" because she's lonely or whatever...so you should try to call her at night too. Eventually she'll get normal and back into the swing of things and won't need so much support. it takes time...good luck.
Re: Helping someone getting over someone
I don't know, njgal. My cousin was engaged to a guy and set to be married in 1997. It took her I think a decade to get over it, and even recently she made inaccurate statements about what happened with him and seemed resentful and such if it came up. She is AH married now, but it took a long time, and hours and hours and hours of wasted advice-giving and conversations. When she wasn't ready, she wasn't ready. And no matter what sensible advice she got, she wasn't willing to take it.
I think she's also the wallowing in self-pity type. Not everyone would have reacted the same way. You know your cousin; is this typical of her?
She's pretty mature so hopefully she'll come out of this. You are right about personalities because my sister went through almost something similiar and she is still not over it. I just want her to realize that she's still a catch, it's his loss and there are so many endless opportunities out there for her.
Re: Helping someone getting over someone
^be there for her, as you are. And support her when she needs. Try to let her know that she shouldn't feel pressured right now.
Re: Helping someone getting over someone
I second White Light…good sound advice :k:
Re: Helping someone getting over someone
^ Do you have an issue with reading comprehension? My use of the word "All" does not imply every single one counted down to the last.
I meant the overall general mentality, that's why her mom and a lot of Pakistani parents start to freak out when girls reach that age.
LOL.....really? Is this the best defense you can come up with?
Let me ask...do you have an issue with clearly communicating what you really mean in a written manner? Here's a crazy idea.....If you "meant" "overall general mentality", then next time write that down instead of "all".
Re: Helping someone getting over someone
^Yes but by perpetuating this inaccurate belief, you contribute to the unfair pressure placed on women (and men). So maybe realize that your words carry weight, that what you put out into the world has consequences, and think about implications before you make a statement.
^ Huge 2nd! If only desis could follow this simple idea....
Re: Helping someone getting over someone
take her to lush green area.....where there lots of trees, grass and lake. it will refresh her mind.
natural therapy
Re: Helping someone getting over someone
What she needs is Green Tea yoghurt from Pinkberry with lots of toppings. Be a good cousin and get her that ;)