Helping out Nieces and Nephews

Lifestyle Relationships
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I have a good friend who I found out has been through quite a bit in her life, having grown up without a father, who abandoned her mother when she was a baby. Her mother had to take care of her on her own, and the mom still doesn’t make much, so the daughters really try to work on their own to help out, and are in process of being educated.

Anyway, the time will come near when they’ll be on their own two feet and they will be able to take care of their mother.

However, my question is why did the mother’s relatives not help out more when they knew the family was having such problems? This poor girl has family around here, but they apparently don’t help her out at all. She’s a friend of mine, so if she needs a car ride, I’ll take her. But I get annoyed, because I feel like her family members, like cousins in the area, should help her out.

If my nephew or niece had to work at night at some retail store to make ends meet for their family, and I had money, I’d pitch in and help them out so they could focus on their education. I would go as far as to buy them a car, and such if I needed to.

How far would you go to help out a family member? How far would you go to help out a family member of your spouse’s?

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Re: Helping out Nieces and Nephews

Selfishness is what its called.. Or maybe others have their own problems they cant afford to help out too much without making their own families suffer and no one likes to see their own kid suffer.

Its a harsh reality of life.. You say IF you had money to spare u wud help them out... Anyways, how do u know that the families didn't help out? Its not like they wud of announced it to the local press before giving her money.

We as outsiders can only ever make assumptions... The only people who are allowed to judge are the people standing behind closed doors because YOU shall never know the full story as someone standing on the outside

I would never stop my husband from helping out his family members, I think it can only build love and respect... and I wouldnt expect him to stop me either provided the help being given is decent and agreed by both of us. If he is being unreasonable and not letting me help at all, I am a working woman and islamically have all the right in the world to do what I want with my money so I shall help the family member out to my hearts content.

I cant stand an unfair man.

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Re: Helping out Nieces and Nephews

I used to work at a doctor's office and there was this one patient who came in. She has so many health problems and needs a lot of tests done too. We asked her why she hasn't been able to come in, she said she didn't have a car or any transporation. We asked her how she got there, she said that her nephew dropped her off he told her he would only do it if she paid him. She paid him $50 for like a 10 mile drive. Pretty sad.

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Re: Helping out Nieces and Nephews

PCG, I wonder why dont you think the same when you are at the receiving end or someone who is pissed off posts the same for "their cousins always need help from them ... or their uncles is staying at their place for medical treatment of their daughter" etc etc. Most of your posts then tell users to tell their relative to get lost .. eeeh?

Having said all this, I totally agree with you on this. Her relatives should come forward in this hard time but sometimes, friends are more near to you than relatives. I am not sure about the "degree" of your friendship but I have friends who I can always count on (and prefer on many relatives when I am in need). Similarly they can always count on me.

btw, this also depends on how she has been with those relatives in her good times... You really cant tell them to fk off in good times and the look for their help in bad times and because of this guilt, you look towards the friends..

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Re: Helping out Nieces and Nephews

^ Very true... That is one reason why its good to BUILD relations instead of breaking them at the first sign of trouble

Which many people do unfortunately these days

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Re: Helping out Nieces and Nephews

D6C, I grow with time.

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Re: Helping out Nieces and Nephews

and after opening this thread, you go post this about family helping babysit.

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Re: Helping out Nieces and Nephews

She can't expect anyone to help her take care of her kids, but if a woman has willing in-laws, or relatives, then why say no? Take advantage of the help being offered to you.

DUH.

Queer, you're gay. Youre SUPPOSED to think like a woman. Get with it.

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phir tu aab bohat baree ho gaee ho ge? :)

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How do you know the relatives didn't help?

If you're in a position to help a friend.....be thankful that you're in such a position that someone asks u for help.....and earn some brownie points by helping them without getting annoyed or thinking ro asking anything.

I find it really disheartening and humiliating even...to talk to someone, even for a minor thing, and in turn they say "why cant u ask someone else?" because chances are, I dont have that comfort and friendship with someone that i can ask them for assistance. by them showing annoyance or telling you to do something else, to me its saying "i dont care about you, dont bother asking me for help."

its bad enough that she has relatives who didnt bother to help.....having friends who get annoyed at her just makes her better off without such friends or relatives.

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PCG I am in the same boat . I can tell you no one really comes to help. From my blood relations only and only my parents helped me they were with me through out and they are still with me. I have uncles and aunts too but nobody helps. Everyone can say nice and kind words because they don't cost anything but no one really helps.

As far as how far would I go ? I had this aunt of mine who got divorced and was uneducated. However , she had great knitting skills. Me and my parents were on our way to help her out by buying a knitting machine but before that she got a good proposal and that money along with some more added money was used to pay for some shaadi expenses.

Good for you that you help your friend . God will reward you for it. But I tell u it's a mean world and when you are in a difficult situation and needs help most of the people you always thought are your own and would help you just turn a blind eye and ignore you.

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Re: Helping out Nieces and Nephews

Regardless of who it is, if the person genuinely needs help, then I would try my best to help them. I have helped out some people in family. Like others have said, even if she did get help, it wouldn't have been a public announcement.

My parents taught me something to the effect that help someone in such a manner that even your left hand doesn't know what the right hand gave the person in need.