[FONT=Times New Roman]My post might be long but please bear with it
[FONT=Times New Roman]I am required to make a serious decision whether I should leave home or not
[FONT=Times New Roman]I will summarize some imp points which have an impact on my decision
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[FONT=Times New Roman]We are four sister .the eldest is married and lives in dubai
[FONT=Times New Roman]My father divorced my mother when I was 18 but before that he was not much of a father drinking, women ,mental abuse and did not support us financially much
[FONT=Times New Roman]He use to earn in lakhs in dubai but gave us a financial income of 20000 during which he would stop giving 2 or times a year
[FONT=Times New Roman]My father and mother had a ‘’vatta satta’’ and when things did not work between his sister and my mamu my father would beat my mom but thing eventually ended between them but thing did not get any better .we grew up and protected our mother
[FONT=Times New Roman]He did not want any of us to study after inter .he thought it would waste of his money and we were worth getting married to some rickshaw chalaney wala etc.
[FONT=Times New Roman]He wanted this so he could have the house and throw our mother out as he left the house after divorce
[FONT=Times New Roman]After few months of divorce he threatened us to either get married or he would throw us out of the house ..and also pay the expense he paid for his sister (MY phupoo)
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[FONT=Times New Roman]We filed a case in court for the house ..but nothing happened in these 2 years as he bought the judge
[FONT=Times New Roman]6months ago he sent thugs to our house to remind us to whom this house belongs to
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[FONT=Times New Roman]After divorce he stopped taking care of us financially so my mothers relatives have been supporting us to some extent
[FONT=Times New Roman]My 2[SUP]nd[/SUP] sister has a very low pay which doesn’t hold the house expenses
[FONT=Times New Roman]She is 29 and doesn’t want to get married
[FONT=Times New Roman]My 3[SUP]rd[/SUP] sis completed her bachelors and my eldest sister want her to come to dubai for a better life and job
[FONT=Times New Roman]My mother’s family is very religious ,strict and disciplined .we are not allowed to even breath without their permission .my mother does not protect us or defend us when they take control over our lives
[FONT=Times New Roman]They also advise my mother 24 times a day that we should gat married but we want to pursue a career and become independent
[FONT=Times New Roman]They have brought rishtas for me which I with great difficulty refuse and so for my 3[SUP]rd[/SUP] sister
[FONT=Times New Roman]My eldest sister want me to come to dubai as she thinks I am losing my sanity and my mo will force me into marriage one day
[FONT=Times New Roman]My mother is againt this plan of ours as losing the house is one of the risks and that she is really close to me and thinks I should complete my bachelors here
[FONT=Times New Roman] i am tired f being a slave for my mothers family
and have wasted three years of studies
i refused my sister today and she said that i broke her heart and will not talk to me again cuz if nw my mom forces me into marriage she will not help me
my mother saw me crying but didnot say a word
[FONT=Times New Roman]Thank you for your time and patience and your replies will be appreciated
Re: help
Why exactly does your mum want to keep the house? Can't you take her with you to Dubai and start afresh there?
Re: help
sorry i posted this thread twice .can u remove this one
Re: help
I think you should leave with your mum and your sisters to stay closer to your elder sister in Dubai, think of it as a fresh start where no one can push you all around. I don't know how you are doing financially but I'm sure your elder sister and her husband will help you initially until you find your feet. I think your mum is tired to put up any more fight and I think it has to be you that does that now.
Re: help
she cant take all of us together ....so she decided to take me and my sister first and later maybe after a 1 our mom and other sister
Re: help
Both you and your mother are using pure feelings to make decisions that impact your entire lives. While I understand that this is a emotional situation....you need to start using your BRAIN. The ONLY way you and your sisters can help your mother is by getting a career and starting earning money on your own. And that's not happening while you stay in your current situation (heck it hasn't happened so far right?). If you want to stop being a slave to your mother's family, then take action and do something about it. Saying "no" to your sister's offer and crying at home doesn't solve anything does it?
I have no idea what you think you will achieve by staying in your current situation. B/C seems like the ONLY thing that will happen is that you'll get married. So if you want to get married, then stay. BUT otherwise, go to Dubai asap, start and finish your education, and start earning money.