There is this girl ( family friends ) that i really like, but like previously i dont want to get into a relationship and screw things up or give anyone a reason to talk or anything so i have decided that i would go thru proper channel by instead of telling her about my feelings and starting somin i am trying to involve my parents from the get go and see what happens. Now 2 of my friends who are really close to me and whom i share everything with advise me differently, one agrees wid my decision and second doesnt and both have valid arguments and i am seriously confused. I need help as i seriously feel for her and want to marry her but on the other hand in case of refusal i dont want good family relations to go sour.
It is her birthday tomorrow and i really want to give her a gift but i have never done so before ever and i dont want her family to misunderstand, khair not only is giving the gift or not an issue infact “what gift” is an issue too as i dont want to give her a gift that she feels weird on the other hand i dont wanna give somin totally stupid either.
Damn i am goin crzy, Hope you guys understand what i am going thru.
Golden necklace with a love heart shaped pendulum. Should open up to a picture of you and her with the words engraved "My eternal love". You need to give fate a nudge in the right direction.
Let your parents handle it and keep well away from the girl, until the parents give a hint that they r interested, then contact the girl and ask her if she is interested in u. Then stay well back again and let the parents handle it. The more u meddle, the messier it gets.
I agree with Straight up, forget the birthday present, there is whole lot of birthdays to follow, so look forward to them, go through the proper channel.
You want to show her you are interested yet be semi-kosher. Lunch or dinner. Take her out - just the two of you. Get to know her better and then if you are still interested, talk to your parents.
The lunch/dinner is semi formal or rather leaves her guessing on why we are doing this. Don't act like its a date. Be normal. If you act like a spaz, then don't even bother talking to your parents.
Does this girl have any idea that you are romantically interested in her? Why do you think that family relations can potentially sour? Is it because she's a relative or a family friend?
You can go through the parents and let them handle it. But if you don't know her feelings, then realize that her answer can go either way. She might accept the proposal or she can reject it.
I, personally, don't see anything wrong in giving her a birthday gift. It shows you care about her. And the gift should be given with sincerity, not to expect something in return. A person you get a gift for is not obligated to develop romantic feelings for you. However, by giving her a gift, she'll know that you cared enough about her to remember her special day cuz it's not something you HAVE to do....but you wanted to do. And with the gift, she'll wonder if you like her romantically. It'll plant an idea in her head. And by talking to her, you can gauge her feelings for you. If you feel that she's uncomfortable and is avoiding you, then she's not interested. You could even tell her how you feel and then arrange for your parents to discuss matters based on her response to you. If the girl doesn't know you well, then a gift is a way of showing you care about her. And she'll take that into consideration when making a decision.
If you want to avoid the hassle of trying to figure out how she feels about you, then u should go through your parents, as you'll get a FASTER indication about how she feels in a yes or no response. You won't have to do any "figuring out" as in the first option above.
You can give the gift and go through parents OR give the gift and tell her how you feel and hear the answer from her. If you hear her response and it's not favorable, then you can move on, parents won't have to know about it, and there won't be hurt family egos hopefully.
You can express interest in her yourself OR go through your parents. Either way the girl's gonna know that it came from YOU. If your parents propose on your behalf....she's still going to know that they wouldn't do that unlessyouhad a romantic interest in her. The only difference is that in one situation you get a direct answer from her and in the other situation you get the direct answer from your parents. The gift can help in her opinion of you regardless of whether u confront her yourself or go through parents.