Hey everyone
Just need some words of wisdom before I embark on a trip to Pakistan where no doubt my personal life will be under the microscope-still not married and now not wearing a hijab.
I am going on umrah first so will hopefully be in a better position to face the relies afterwards!
I am sure there is a cousin you can import to UK with you, preferrably a Mirpuri.
Take lots of selfies at Umrah so you can show your relies just how religious you are..
Welcome back, Hubnubs.
Your life would be under the “microscope” or under speculation even in your place of residence. We cannot control that; it’s just that some people can keep their untoward thoughts to themselves and others can’t help but make them known. The only thing you have control over is your own reactions.
You paid good money for this trip, so do your best to have a good time. Keep yourself occupied in positive ways and with things that you enjoy. Spend more time with those of your relatives whom you are close to, go out and about (sight seeing, shopping, etc, etc). If you’re into books, take a good one with you. I do understand your fears though. I have several cousins that are unmarried and so they have the good sense to not broach that subject, lol. But from childhood I have dealt with untoward remarks about things like appearance, looks, etc. It took me a long time before I understood that insecurity/jealousy was at the root of those remarks. But that’s not always the case. Sometimes inappropriate comments/questions can stem from a place of genuine love an concern, too. But again, you have little control over what others will do/say. There is nobody in this world who is not facing the challenges that come with the cards that life has dealt them. Those that are married have their challenges; it’s not always smooth sailing. It’s the same for those who have children and those who don’t. Everyone has their blessings and their trials. The folks that badger you about about when you are going to get married or why you are still single do not have a 100% guarantee about their own lives (whether they’ll even live to see the next day or what their future holds, etc). And it is for these reasons that you should not allow yourself to wallow in any relative’s remarks; do not give them that power over you. You rise above and you do it with grace (not bitterness). You put a smile on and you show them the best of you (and you do it for you) because life doesn’t end if you’re single, it doesn’t stop for anyone, and you know you’ve plenty to be grateful for. So, make the best of this visit.
Always say subhanallah mashaallah Alhamdulillah even when it may not be appropriate. Also carry tasbeeh and shuffle the beads on it often.
redvelvet!!! Thanks for your lovely message. Sending prayers from Medina to you. I appreciate your advice and know this to be true yet you know hard it can be when someone openly discusses your private life insha Allah keep me in your prayers
T
Oh don’t worry.When I visited Pakistan 2 years ago, most were non hijabi’s. In fact, while having dinner at an event, two relatives started discussing why hijab wasn’t necessary.
From my limited experience, I think if you don’t entertain gossip, don’t comment on others lives in a negative way and generally exude a positive attitude, people leave you alone.
If anyone asks about you being single, just say, “Bas dua karein Aunty/Uncle” . It works like a charm. 
PS: You’re in Madinah, please remember us in duas too. I really want to go for Umrah.
Shift your energies towards those who matter. Have an amazing time in Medina!
Thank you all for your positive vibes. Will definitely remember you all in my prayers- off to umrah today. Keep me in your Duas
I understand what you are referring to, and unfortunately you can?t stop what people are going to discuss about you. Specially those who are older than you who will find it less inhibited and for whom it?s more difficult to talk back to. I sometimes send a message through a third person to relatives that while I am visiting, certain subjects will be off limits.
But at times one just has to have thick skin and learn to ignore. Once we start worrying abou then other people?s opinion, we forsake our happiness.
Sartre quote ?Hell is other people. ?