recently i have been divorced and i also have a child too.now i want to know what options r available to me (from a religious point of view) im thinking ahead inthe future pleez help!!
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where iz everyone!!
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Meeni, with divorce religiously you are supposed to get the haq meher and anything you may have specified in the marriage agreement.
I hope someone else will answer this in more detail, but i believe after a set period of time ( idont know how long) you are allowed and ok to marry someone else again and that would probably be recommended if you are a mother without any source of income.
More details on what sort of advice you are looking for , as well as your situation would be helpful.
Check out www.islamqa.com and www.islamonline.net for more information regarding these matters.
Fi Amanillah
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actually maniac my parents didnt set much of a haq meher but i am more worried about the money that he owes me. hes in pkstn and im in uk
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Meeni if he owes you money then he is not only islamically but probably legally bound to return it to. Do you have any contracts or something ? something written about howm uch he owes you and how he is to return it to you ?
Islamically...the only thing you can do is ask him to return to you what he owes you.
Practicality of this is an entirely different matter. Him being in pakistan complicates things as he only has to return the money he owes you IF HE FEELS LIKE IT. I am guessing you are a UK citizen. Is he ?
Insha'Allah Allah will make things easier for you.
It is always wise to remember Allah and ask him to ordain what is best for you and make your heart content and keep you away from what is bad for you, your children and your future.
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thanks again maniac yeh im british but he can also come here too! i now live with my parents but waz wonfering whether its best to sooner or later remarry? sorry maniac im still in a state of shock............ and i hurt inside ..........i didnt deserve this i think ill have another cry
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Meeni, have a cry. I cant imagine how tough a situation this must be and crying helps as it releases emotions.
How many kids do you have and how old are they ?
Remarrying comes when you are ready. And trust me you will know when you are ready.
You mentioend he can come to UK, is he a citizen? I am assuming that once he married you he applied for immigration on the basis of marrying a UK citizen.
The shock will remain for a while, so will the hurt. Pray to Allah a lot. I find that in times of need if one says nafal prayers and during sajda opens her/his heart to ALlah , cries and asks for advice / forgiveness / strength, it really helps. So try that.
Make lots of dua and prayer, they will bring peace to your mind insha'Allah.
Once again, for remarrying, you will know when youi are ready for it. How long were you guys married for ?
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my daughter iz 4 and we were married for 5 years but there woz a lot hatred and physical abuse towards me. yes thets how he got to the uk. i woz tricked outta my money and in the end i got so sick of it that i asked him for separation coz he wasnt supporting me in any way (btw this happened 2 dayz ago)
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Meeni, i suggest you talk to divorce lawyer for your case. Im really sorry to hear what happened. Talk to a divorce lawyer and they will be able to guide you better.
May Allah grant you peace, patience and stability.
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the only thing that goes through my mind is that when i die who will come to bless my grave and say that they forgive me (like spouses do to each other and who will want to marry me any way even though i look 10 years younger than my age and am a very good person)I KNOW THERE ARE TOO MANY WHOZZ HERE!!! sorry
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Meeni, in your case your husband physically abused you and is to blame for the divorce. It isnt your fault.
Your children, their children, your parents and kin will come to your grave and pray for you. But who knows when that time comes.
Yes desi's have this stigma against divorced women. However nowadays there's a resurgence in authentic islamic thought even amongst desi men and insha'Allah you will find that person who will be your shining light through the rest of your life.
Pray to Allah, have faith in him and know that he's the only one who can help you and guide you.
Insha'Allah everything will work out just fine.
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thanks for talking to me and advising me maniac i am looking at www.islamonline.net but cant find much . ill keep trying though thanks again friend nice to know there r still good people in this horrible world
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you are welcome.
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Religiously, morally, socially and most importantly legally you have been wronged by a fraudster who if iam not mistaken married you because he wanted to have a British passport.
Your Ex cannot deny the legal, moral and religious obligations he owes to you and your 4year old daughter.
Legally, you can sue him for child support. Since you are already divorced, it seems that the legal part where husband-wife separate has been concluded. It was then you could have fixed your alimony check. Maybe your parents or other family members would have helped you on that front. But, do make the child support claim in UK courts, not just for yourself but more importantly your daughter needs that assurance, financial and social. Both will be extremly important for your child character development, position in society and her future education.
I can guide you to Quranic references which clealry requires your husband to pay the Haq Mehr before the marriage is consummated, but unfortunatley our (muslim) society has found ways to avoid fulfilling such responsibilities in the name of maintaining social order. ALLAH is very clear in the Quran, that divorce is one of the most disliked acts, howver if it becomes unavoidable then it provides a general guideline which is supposed to provide protection to the women and her children. You Ex like many other Muslim husbands tend to forget that part of the Quranic ideals when it comes to meeting their obligation in the event of divorce.
Most important advice one can give you is to forget the past and move forward. If anyone should be worried it should be your Ex…UK laws and applications are not going to let him off the hook, and niether should you…
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thanks fartguru i think that i should make some sort of financial claim coz at the mo i am only claiming child benefit.
yes he may have wanted a uk passport but how can we uk citizens make sure that thats not the reason they r marrying us. we here r so straight forwrd and those kind of people r too clever.
i just hope that Allah doesnt send me to hell for asking for divorce!
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No, Not all, Khulla is your Islamic right…never think like that, pls be positive and look to the future, for your sake and childs sake.
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Why will Allah send u to hell for asking for divorce from a person who abused u?
I can imagine how u must feel. I too got divorced 3 years back after being married for 2 years. A divorce will always be ugly, u will feel for a time that what u did was maybe wrong, but i am sure with time u will end up realising that u r better off alone then living with an abusive husband.
I too initially thought i was wrong, even though i wasnt even given a proper reason for a divorce :) He was just an immature person who had too many complexes surrounding him.
I am absoluetely fine now and am still single, the only time i cried was the day i was divorced, i was sent the divorce thru an email attachment :) cute haan. & I had to go and tell my parents and family about what had happened and also had to support them. So i just never cried after that.
I waited till my Iddat time had passed. During my Iddat i wrote technical articles for a company's newsletter and after my iddat took on the offer of a job from them.
I am absolutely happy with my life and am pleased that i had my family to support me at that time Alhumdulillah. I have had a few proposals for marriage but i dont know--I am still scared of it i guess.
As far as marrying again is concerned, i would suggest that u dont think about it right now as u have just gotten out of a relationship (a few days only) and u might end up making a bad choice due to being in a vulnerable state at the moment. Think positively about urself and plan for ur life ahead, but give urself sometime before jumping into another relationship.
I am sure one day u will find someone suitable and truly caring. InshaAllah.
As far as the money he owes u is concerned u need to do it legally. My ex owed me money too but i never got it back--i never asked for it to be frank :)
I did get my Haq Mehar cheque by post.
I wish u all the best in ur life ahead :) Take care of urself & stay positive!
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thanks TT yr situation seems just like mine! and u take care too.
may Allah give u all the happiness that u deserve.
Ameen