Re: Help me to escape overbearing in laws!
You should have told him that you 're not asking him to choose between his parents and you and that there IS a way to make both parties happy…and the way to do it is to set aside a number of days that you both spend at your own home and set aside time designated for in-laws. Give your husband your own example as well. Tell him that, “Look at me, my parents don’t live nearby and I don’t get to see them every day.”
When he said that “we need to reconsider our relationship,” did you ask him what exactly he meant by that? Does it mean that he’d leave you? What does it mean? And what did you say you to that…if anything at all? You should have told him that, “You’re setting an ultimatum that I better go to your parents’ home every day otherwise our relationship is in jeopardy. But you don’t seem to realize that our marriage is already strained even though we go to your parents’ home every single day. Setting an ultimatum like that is immature; it’s emotionally manipulative. It reads as my way or the high way. I am not stopping you from seeing your parents, I am only asking that the two of us spend some time alone, with each other, a few times during the week as well. As a wife, I have my Islamic rights over you as do your parents. When you fulfill your parents’ wishes at the expense of your wife’s rights, then an imbalance will occur in the marriage and it already has. You are imposing upon me to see them every day when I have not said that I never want to spend time with them. All I want is for us to have a few days (not the entire week) ..to ourselves and rather than work with me to form a schedule, you gave me an ultimatum and that’s really hurtful.” You should have called him out on the “we need to reconsider our relationship” comment.