I’ve been in a relationship with this guy for a year now.
A little bit about our background.
I am from a very rich family, fair skin, slim, tall, and very pretty (according to people). I have a very special place in my family, I am given everything I ask for, I never heard no for anything, I have all the luxuries one can wish for and enough freedom to go out anywhere anytime I want. I do frequent stay overs at friends’ place and my friends come to my house every other week, stay over and we party. I am given own car by my family so that I don’t have to wait for driver or car if I want to go out. I do a lot of shopping; my monthly expense is around a lakh per month, sometimes even more.
He is from a lower middle family, average height, average looks, dark color, earns about a lakh per month, and is the only supporter of a family of 7. Is very close to his family, especially his mother, knows his responsibilities and spends most of the time working full time and part time. Dislikes fazool kharchis, eating out a lot and buying expensive stuff.
So, he’s always been nice to me, I;ve been meeting his family, I have nice friendship with his sister and mother, they are nice people in general, my family also accepts him for me, I go to his house quite often, since I have a very friendly personality and I get well with people very easily, we get along quite well. I take his mom for shopping at times. (No. I don’t pay for her shopping, they are not greedy people). But she almost passes out every time I buy something expensive; However, I don’t mind giving her a hand bargaining on already cheap stuff.
They are quire backward people, no small duppatas, no jeans, no going out without husband or mother, no frequent outings. No stay overs at friends or friends coming often. It’s completely opposite to my family.
I sometimes take them to nice restaurants they’ve never been, they don’t know how to use knife and fork so i eat with hands so that his family feels comfortable. Sometimes I go to his house and learn cooking from his mom and we talk a lot.
So, the thing is, he proposed me last week!!! But, he wants me to convert!! We are both muslims but from different firkas. I am ok with his firka and can still marry him, but he says I must convert if I want to marry him. So, we’ve been arguing it since a week now.
He loves me, but he is being childish here. I told him my family will leave me and get hurt, he says no they love you and when they will see you happy they will be fine and happy. I asked him what guarantees my happiness; he says getting him will make me happy. I asked him to consider other things too, like my lifestyle and everything related to me. He says everything will be fine with mutual understand and I will be happy with him. I told him, since I am going to change my lifestyle and will already be giving up a lot for him, and I can’t change my beliefs. He thinks I am rejecting him.
We are arguing everyday, he is trying to convince me to convert, he can’t even leave me or let me go, but he says he will never marry me if I don’t convert, I told him he is being selfish and thinking for himself and his family only and not thinking on my side. He thinks I am being selfish and rejecting him, and he was under impression that I will convert, however, I have different views on religion, I respect religions and never speak against any, we had arguments every time he said someone is wrong or they are right.
Everyday, I try to tell him beliefs are not cloths that you will change whenever you want. He thinks it should be easy for me to convert since my beliefs are wrong and his are right. I tell him he is being selfish and he ends up picking all the negative points back at me and tell me I am rejecting him, and being negative about our future. I told him the way we are arguing and he is being stubborn I already seeing our future blur. He says the problem is on my side. I suggested we do consultation, he can find a close friend or family member he can trust and is neutral and we both talk to him/her. He says only I(me) need consultation, and he is right.
In short, he is driving me crazy, everyday he will say, ok it’s the end, and then next day he’ll be crying again. I think he has a lot of growing up to do, and he says I tell him he is dumb. I love him, and I was going to sacrifice a lot for him, I was even preparing myself for a life of suffocation, but he is demanding more than that, and not even considering it all a sacrifice on my part, he thinks it’s normal that I change my life style for him.
I know even his family will be ok with us staying on our beliefs and getting married, but he is stuck on this point. I even asked him to meet an aalam, and talk to him, maybe he can explain to him why it is that difficult for a person to change his/her beliefs. I think he still has a lot of growing up to do. He is hurting both himself and me. And I am already seeing a dark future of us filled with arguments.
So, I have decided to get out of this relationship. It’s hard for me, and so is going to be very painful for him. He is blaming me for everything, and saying I am being selfish and want to get rid of him, and all the crap, but I am ready to take the blame. He’ll be happier with a girl from the same background, who has no opinion and is like the wax doll he wants me to be.
It’s really hard and painful. I don’t know if I am right and he is wrong, or maybe we both are thinking for ourselves only, or are being selfish. I don’t know what to do. But I can’t be with a person, who either is so immature and stubborn, or way to mature than me.
What do you people think of it? Am I right? Or I am thinking on one side only? Serious replies only please. Already hurt and down 
