A guy walked into a bar with a pig and asked for two beers,
one for himself and one for the pig. The bartender said,
“Sorry sir, we don"t serve pigs. You"ll have to leave him
outside.”
The man replied, “Ah, but this is no ordinary pig. This
pig can play the piano.”
The bartender, disbelieving, said, “Yeah? Get him up there,
let’s hear him play.”
So the pig walked up to the piano, pulled out the stool,
racked his pig knuckles and started to play beautifully.
The bartender was amazed and immediately offered to buy
the pig. But the owner said, “Sorry, that pig is a close
personal friend of mine and I can’t possibly sell him.”
Anyway, the pig became a regular and started pulling the
crowds into the pub. The bartender became rich, and was
eventually able to offer $500,000 for the pig. Finally,
the sale was agreed to.
Two years later, the same guy came back with a dog. Gone
was the old bar, replaced by a huge nightclub called “The
Playing Pig,” with the pig on stage in the center. So the
guy walked in and ordered two beers, one for himself and
one for the dog. The bartender was about to refuse when he
recognized the guy.
“So,” he said, “What’s special about the dog?”
“Well, this dog can sing.”
“He can sing! Well get him up on stage with the pig, let’s
hear him!”
So the dog went up on stage and started singing along to the
pig’s piano playing. This was repeated every night for a couple
of months, every night the bartender offering to buy the dog
and getting the same reply:
“Sorry, the dog’s a close personal friend of mine and he’s not
for sale.”
One night, the bartender said, “Look, I’ve got to have that dog.
Here’s a million dollars, the keys to my private yacht and the
deed to a villa in Spain. Take them, in exchange for the dog.”
So the deal was struck.
Six months later, the same guy’s back again. The bartender’s
obviously pleased to see him.
“So, what have you got for me this time?” The man deposited a
set of keys and the deed to the villa on the bar and handed over
a check for 1 million dollars.
“Look,” he said, “I have a confession to make. I’ve been living
with the guilt for six months. I can’t keep your money, or your
yacht, or your villa.”
“What’s the matter?” asked the bartender. “What’s the confession?”
The man looked at the bartender and said,
“The dog can’t sing. The pig’s a ventriloquist.”