Re: He has no time for me.
OP = Original poster
SO = Significant other
S & T = Space and time
CPT = (???) maybe it is certain period of time
WB = will be
ST = Sometimes (?) though that doesn’t really make sense as it is one word
TY = Thank You
EO = Everyone
You’re welcome
Re: He has no time for me.
EO? 
Re: He has no time for me.
not to stir trouble or anything. just sharing my experience and opinion.
im a malaysian and i met my lahori bf when we were in uni. we've been together for more than 6 years now and we're planning to get married soon. he left malaysia for good last august when he failed to find a job after several months trying. he was jobless till late nov. now he is a partner of a small advertising company. ever since, he's been extremely busy. coming home at 7-8 pm nearly every day. he's so preoccupied with his business that now he is not even sure when he can come back to malaysia to meet the parents, set the date etc.
ok so here's the thing, after 7 months apart we have been in contact with each other every single day (except when we fight hehe but those nvr last longer than a few days tops or he's out of town and out of range). Even when there's no internet sometimes on either side (like right now he's no internet), he will call or text or go to a friend's house wtv it takes to get in touch with me. i have also done the same. it doesn't matter what goes on in our lives, we make sure we keep in touch. (mostly because im always paranoid that he's been bombed or kidnapped etc. im the peaceful malaysian who has nvr even heard a gun shot so what do i know of the situation there apart from what i read in the media?)
now another different story. i once dated this guy from my hometown right.. we would go out nearly every day for the first 2 months. on the 3rd month ive to go back to uni, which is in another city. after a month, he would call less. when i ask why, he always say he's busy and actually sounded annoyed at me for bothering him. so i gave him his space. he broke it off via text msg when i wish him happy 4 month anniversary. few months later, a friend confided in me that he cheated on me while i was away.
so yeah, all im saying is that if ppl are really in love? they would find a way to see/contact each other no matter what. no. matter. what. i mean just look at our parents. they've been together for DECADES. if one is out of town for wtv reason, one or the other will give a call every day, right? maybe it's time to do some investigating yourself? you're not married yet. better safe than sorry, i say.
Re: He has no time for me.
naah! TY meant TO YOU..
Rest is right.. You are smart bro
Re: He has no time for me.
He's just not that into you comes to mind.
Re: He has no time for me.
I know!!! I just got use to so and now this oh . I am too old for this .
Re: He has no time for me.
really others always say ty and I thought it means thank you? .shoots self
Re: He has no time for me.
OH=Other half.
Did that clear it up for you?
Re: He has no time for me.
I think you need to dump him and move on...if this is happening now it will only get worse later.
Re: He has no time for me.
We have been together for a bit over 5 years. I guess honeymoon phase is way over but it doesn't mean you start taking others for granted.
I said really bad stuff to him for which I felt quite guilty.. so I called him up and apologized. things got pretty good from there.. he told me that hes always apologizing to me and I got way too hurtful. I told him that he leaves me with no other way but to hurt him because he just says sorry in such a causal matter like nothing matters like hes so concerned about other relations in his life.
Reha I understand what you're saying, so now I don't get all clingy and its working, he calls me himself.. texts me several times how much he misses me.
We are both 23 years old..
Princess You're right I can build a social life but starting but its difficult to build it cause my friends are all working and quite busy.. I don't drive myself so im always dependent on my mother for going out, and my business takes so much of my time that I cant even do the daily routine items.. whatever spare time I have I want it on tv or with him. lol I make it sound really bad but ive been going crazy as my sister is here and her kid doesn't let us work or do anything (im not at all used to of kids and shes too naughty). The 3 points you defined could be true.. I shall give him spare and let me discover who he is, and I might discover myself too in this process.. but its very disturbing that for 5 years we were so close and now hes introducing new changes to the relationship?? I fell for a different person and yes we all get old and change but not a 360 degree turn now? am I making any sense??
Ive spoken about the priority and he says that his family which he says includes me..
Re: He has no time for me.
We have been together for a bit over 5 years. I guess honeymoon phase is way over but it doesn't mean you start taking others for granted.
We are both 23 years old..
Princess You're right I can build a social life but starting but its difficult to build it cause my friends are all working and quite busy.. I don't drive myself so im always dependent on my mother for going out, and my business takes so much of my time that I cant even do the daily routine items.. whatever spare time I have I want it on tv or with him. lol I make it sound really bad but ive been going crazy as my sister is here and her kid doesn't let us work or do anything (im not at all used to of kids and shes too naughty). The 3 points you defined could be true.. I shall give him spare and let me discover who he is, and I might discover myself too in this process.. but its very disturbing that for 5 years we were so close and now hes introducing new changes to the relationship?? I fell for a different person and yes we all get old and change but not a 360 degree turn now? am I making any sense??
Ive spoken about the priority and he says that his family which he says includes me..
Yes, the honeymoon being over shouldn't mean things become stale or boring; however you are both looking towards the future which includes an 'US' which should help take the edge off the disturbance this is causing you. Is it really disturbing you that much or are you a person who doesn't like change? Some people get used to routine, and it's hard for them to change. But life is what is is; and not everyones carry on in the same direction at the same pace. As someone who runs a business you will know that!
My suggestions to you (as someone who previously ran a business) are:
look into business support networks in your area-especially those who support young business owners etc. You maybe surprised to learn there are plenty of people in a similar situation to you that are struggling to find friends who have a similar job to them as YES it gets lonely. You may find the networks provide you with a chance to develop a social life
2) if you can finanically afford to do so learn to drive-this will help you no end
3) if you are not already a member join online business networks and see if they hold local meet ups
4) seriously look at a hobby sweetheart apart from TV and business. You need something that is away from your job, and gives you a channel away from your daily life. Look at it as a way of letting off steam. Perhaps this could be a creative hobby? Or maybe something like kickboxing? It just depends on what makes you tick.
5) Learn to prioritise yourself as well as your business and partner.
6) spend some quality time with your sister-maybe do something you both enjoy or haven't done in a while-maybe get to know your naughty niece?! Sometimes playing with children opens up us to the fact the way we see things isn't always as bad as we think they are. You obviously live a serious life: business, OH, not much spare time, not much social time etc. I think you would be well if you could take some timeout for you. I think the OH situ would also become more comfortable for you as you settle into the new routine of both of you working long hours. I think your OH maybe using his weekends to unwind from work-who knows right? It's sometimes a case of trial and error.
As long as you both share priorities of life other situations can be discussed and 'fixed' if both parties are open to this. I really do think your situ has a foundation in the fact your routine of spending so much time together has been rocked and you are not comfortable with it whereas your OH has taken to it quite well.
When is your wedding?
Re: He has no time for me.
Thankyou so much TCPC for your feedback, I know what you mean by being in contact always just like we do with out parents.. Where theres a will theres always a way. but I know hes not cheating on me and that he loves me.. Over 5 years ive realized hes just grown too comfortable with me.. he knows that we will be together no matter what so he doesn't have to WORK on this relationship.. while I believe differently. I think those who are closest to us deserve attention, and constant working (appreciating, surprising each other) so they continue to feel special. but girls and guys are different.
Princess I will inshAllah get married in FEB or march. His studies finish in august and his mother said she plans that we get married within a year but obviously it also matters what I want and what my family wants.. Im someone who doesn't deal well with change, whenever theres a change of college, class or im out of my comfort zone its a few uncomfortable weeks for me.
Im planning to start taking driving lessons so I can be on my own, im really close to my sisters and my niece too but since my business is home based I get way too tired (after playing and handling my niece as my sister doesn't take care of her much, shes on a vacation ;) )
I understand that he needs his weekend to unwind and not hear about the troubles of life (im getting old I need to get married type) as hes trying to clear his final exams but has failed to do so for last 2 attempts. hes becoming an accountant :)