He acts like he doesn't care

[akaprincess]

Re: He acts like he doesn’t care

@iMakeUpLover

We argue a lot less but when we do argue it’s always HUGE. I’m the kind of person who can’t hold in my feelings so I always make sure he knows if he’s upset me or anything. But he acts like he doesn’t care. If I’m crying to him or venting about something, he’ll turn it into a joke and change the topic like nothing has happened. It’s so frustrating as I feel like I’m so alone. It’s always me starting conversations, it’s always me apologizing (even if I’m not sorry) just for the sake of not arguing, it’s always me making plans. It’s always me! If I disappeared for a week, I bet he wouldn’t even bother finding out where I am…

It’s like I need reassurance so I constantly ask him if he still cares. His response is always “you don’t know my feelings, I don’t need to tell you that I love you in order to love you.” Okay fair enough, but at least show me? If you act like that all the time then obviously I’m going to feel that the ‘spark’ is missing? I feel that part of the problem is that we don’t see each other as often as we used to. It gets difficult only communicating over the phone or FaceTiming. But how can you act so different over text than in real life? I can’t see him more often as we’re not married so our parents won’t allow it and uni has finished, so I see him literally once every 2-3 months.

did you ever think there might be an underlying thing that is upsetting you, and that is why your fights are “huge”? when in reality, they really are not?
and maybe it seems like he doesn’t care because to him whatever issue you two are fighting about are not a big deal to him and worth shrugging off. maybe he tries to make you laugh and/or change the topic so that way you won’t be upset anymore and move on to doing something else besides fighting. rather than sitting there arguing over something which will bear no fruit, it’s better to switch the converstaon to something else and make you happy instead.

you have already made the committment to marry this person as he has done to you. problems (though not constant) will arise from time to time, that is just how life is. so you will need to learn how to cope as well. everyday will unfortunately not be a bed of lovely smelling roses.

and why do you need the constant reassurance of him saying he loves you? I get it, I would want my fiance/husband etc to tell me he loves me too, but just because you argue about something, does not automatically means he does not love you. (unless he is constantly telling you he doesn’t, which is not the case here). but if you are constantly wanting the lovey-dovey-mushy romance stuff, that can get annoying too. cuz again, that relationshp has already been established, and if you need him to constantly profess his love to you all day with nothing else better to do, then he might start getting ideas that you do not trust him, and worse- super clingy. super clingy is not cute. I repeat- NOT.