having friends of opposite gender after being committed/married

[ShimmerV]

Re: having friends of opposite gender after being committed/married

@redvelvet

That sounds strange to me. Do you love your friends “just as much” as your parents? Would you love your kids “just as much” as your friends? Yes, every relationship has its importance and place and that’s exactly why they are not equal and therefore some rishtay will (and should) naturally receive greater priority than others in terms of time and attention and sacrifice. I don’t believe that socialization with the opposite gender can continue with the same level of frequency and the same amount of laxity as it did prior to marriage.

RV I have spent some 15yrs of my life with these guys and they have seen me through my ups and downs in life & vice versa. After a while it stopped being about them being ‘guys’ and just being ‘friends’. I’m generally an emotional person and tend to live in black & whites so you will either see me love people or not give sh*t about them, there is no in between for me nor are there any levels of how much I love this group versus that group of people in my life (that’s just how I roll, it makes it easier for me to give my time and attention to people that deserve it in my life) so ya you can say my love is equal in ‘quantity’ (I mentioned this word cuz u asked ‘just as much’ question) for all but obviously it differs in type and ways of expression for different groups of people in my life that deserve it (parents/ husband/ sisters/ friends)

And Of course the frequency has changed after my marriage and theirs as well but what does frequency have to do with anything? I know for a fact that MashaAllah if I call any of my friends (guys/girls) at 3am and without a reason tell them to come somewhere cuz I need some help, they will come! No questions asked. Their wives, mothers, sisters, daughters and they themselves have become a part of my family over the years.

As I said earlier, everyone I love and everyone that loves me know their importance and place in my life quite well and i feel we are way past this guy/girl friendship issue in our lives.