I have at least two friends who have turned completely atheist. I am not talking about not practicing religion, I am talking about completely denouncing it. Now the wives are still practicing Muslim. I am not going into the argument of whether the marriage is still valid (though that could be debated on its own). I just want to know if you know any such situation, and if it ever became a matter of conflict between the couple?
Re: Having an atheist spouse
Shouldn't be too bad if the theist spouse keeps religion to him/herself. Being nagged about not believing isn't nice.
Re: Having an atheist spouse
Only one couple comes to mind. They were much older, perhaps in their 50s-60s. Wife was Muslim and the husband was said to have left Islam. Don't know if that situation has met with any change as I haven't seen them in years. If there were any religion-based conflicts between them, I never heard of them. And I don't know when the uncle left Islam. Factors such as children and duration of marriage (among others) can be reasons for maintaining the marriage.
Another thought is that our cultural values (like Islam) are conservative...so if the spouse who has denounced Islam still upholds conservative values, then it may make the marriage a bit easier to maintain. So the spouse could be someone who doesn't believe in drinking, or wearing revealing clothing, or free mingling with opposite gender, but will still say the salam and respond to it, will still make a polite appearance out of formality on Eids...and so maybe that kind of keeps the marriage in-tact. Just a guess on my part.
Re: Having an atheist spouse
a Muslim man or a Muslim woman can not be married to an atheist OR stay married to one who denounced Islam. this union is not permitted in Islam.
the nikah will be invalidated once a spouse denounces his/her religion [Islam in case of a Muslim women and any of the other two monotheistic faiths in case of Muslim men].
Re: Having an atheist spouse
I know so many married Muslim women who're looking for mahrams for haj. Their husbands are willing to finance the haj (some not even that) but flat out refuse to go. Just because someone does not go out and out say they're atheists that doesn't mean they're practicing muslims. So, I know a ton of women who're are living with non-practicing men.
Since they're middle aged old school women their preferences of lifestyle are not really important or relevant to the general public. If they divorced their husbands for not praying or drinking, eyes would roll en mass. Even among the younger lot I've seen girls who were covered up before marriage but post marriage they wear off shoulder dresses. One girl I know was divorced for not wearing sleeveless (The husband's not so former girlfriend was a more modern dresser so by not competing she gave up). People still ridicule her for such a dumb reason for divorce.
Imagine the fuss if the genders were reversed. A namazi guy's ghairat is expected to wake up if his wife keeps a ton of male friends, drinks a lot, wears revealing clothes and doesn't pray etc but women just need to accept such behaviour from their spouse.
Re: Having an atheist spouse
Yes, I know of such a couple. Its not as drastic as the man denouncing Islam and saying ok, I am an atheist. But makes fun of organized religion including Islam in general. However, in gatherings prays namaz to keep up appearances but dislikes doing it. The situation is a source of conflict between the husband and the wife especially with regards to raising the kids.
Re: Having an atheist spouse
I have of a couple in my family where the wife (born into a practicing Muslim family) is a self avowed Atheist (is not rude or overtly vocal about organized religion but if poked or prodded is very direct about it)and the husband is a practicing Muslim. They are both older (45/50) no kids. She goes along in the motions in front of family (doesn't pray, but had their nikkah performed at the masjid, shows up to Eid parties and other religious based get togethers) for the sake of the Inlaws and elders of her family. Everyone knows her beliefs (or lack there of) and no one really comments on it or brings attention to it other then the roll eyes every now and then and mutter "you know how she is". :D
Re: Having an atheist spouse
Never but i have met some who the husband is muslim but doesn't practice like drinks alcohol. Whilst some the husband was muslim then became atheist ( i think he said he doesn't believe in God). But in both cases they returned to islam.
Re: Having an atheist spouse
I've seen girls who were covered up before marriage but post marriage they wear off shoulder dresses. One girl I know was divorced for not wearing sleeveless (The husband's not so former girlfriend was a more modern dresser so by not competing she gave up). People still ridicule her for such a dumb reason for divorce. .
Are you serious? People ridicule the girl for not wearing sleeveless, but they don't ridicule the guy for his expectations? Wow. :(
Re: Having an atheist spouse
now the are going to have zebra children.
Re: Having an atheist spouse
Are you serious? People ridicule the girl for not wearing sleeveless, but they don't ridicule the guy for his expectations? Wow. :(
Yup. She's very quiet and simple (and very pretty) so the guy thought he could push her around and dangle his on and off girlfriend in front of her to change her. People still think because she had a toddler she should have fought harder for her husband but eh, the guy isn't worth it.
Re: Having an atheist spouse
off shoulder dresses? I have seen girls lose hijab, but that is tad extreme.
I think that it was dad's pressure
Re: Having an atheist spouse
I know so many married Muslim women who're looking for mahrams for haj. Their husbands are willing to finance the haj (some not even that) but flat out refuse to go. Just because someone does not go out and out say they're atheists that doesn't mean they're practicing muslims. So, I know a ton of women who're are living with non-practicing men.
Since they're middle aged old school women their preferences of lifestyle are not really important or relevant to the general public. If they divorced their husbands for not praying or drinking, eyes would roll en mass. Even among the younger lot I've seen girls who were covered up before marriage but post marriage they wear off shoulder dresses. One girl I know was divorced for not wearing sleeveless (The husband's not so former girlfriend was a more modern dresser so by not competing she gave up). People still ridicule her for such a dumb reason for divorce.
Imagine the fuss if the genders were reversed. A namazi guy's ghairat is expected to wake up if his wife keeps a ton of male friends, drinks a lot, wears revealing clothes and doesn't pray etc but women just need to accept such behaviour from their spouse.
Ive seen this double standard in other scenarios too. "Husbands not so former gf" is pretty good reason in it of itself but ofcourse she should have fought harder according to most is all to a common way of thinking in our community unfortunately.