Re: Having a lot of issues with my BHAI
Hello all,
Hope your well :). I am coming at you guys with a major problem I have been going through for the last year or so.
So, to make a long story short, my brother recently got married and (his wife isn’t really the issue - just to put it out there, she is lovely most of the time, not much of a personality tbh) and he and his wife (and now baby girl) live at home with me, mum and dad. BEFORE marriage, this brother was hardly ever home. Proper typical guy, always out, never spent any time with family (not that he does much now, now he is just at home more) and always doing his own thing. Now AFTER marriage, and especially after the baby, he is always home. And since his marriage my parents have started this ‘man of the house’ drama. Where everyones opinion use to count, now only his does. Everything has to be his way (as in how things are set, furniture choices, food to eat blah blah blah).
Atm I live on campus at university (doing MSc) and I will move back next month. My brother and I - all we do is fight. We never ever ever have one day of civil conversation. Its not so bad that I wanna rip his face off but most of the time I wish I could have him a good slap. He constantly criticises everything I do, say, how I act, what I wear (not extreme but I wore cropped pants other day and he had an emotional heart attack) and does not give two tosses what my thoughts or feelings are about anything. He is always trying to put me down, ( I am extremely independent and he is of the thought that women can’t possibly be like that all the time, he is NOT backwards 100% but I would say like 80/85%). A couple months ago we had an argument and it got so bad that I left home to go back to campus around 12am (never do that) and didn’t come back or speak to anyone for 2 weeks (I usually go home every weekend/ talk to mum every other day). I was soooooo pissed cos no matter what I am always put in the wrong and he is always right. It doesn’t matter what the fight/argument was about.
My parents have basically spoilt him with the thought that he is always right, and now thats how he thinks. BTW he is 30 and I am 24. So all that he’s your bhai, koy bhaat nayhe hain, chup bhi ho blah blah blah. Anyway, I am dreading moving back…nowadays if I even think about him I feel almost hatred. You guys know how desi parents are - there is no talking to them no matter how much white people tell us we can. And my brother - HA. He doesn’t take anything I say seriously.
I need advice…how to cope or deal with it. What do I do. His wife, as nice as she usually is, is stating to get my nerves now too cos she does that typically Pakistani fake amazing wife crap…makes comments when he’s not home and acts like an angel when he is.
Anyway…help!! And sorry for the short story actually turning out long
WOW your poor bhabi! She’snot even part of your problem and yet here you are talking bad about her. And she has to put up with constant fighting in her home. grow up girl.