Have Pakistanis lost their values and morals?

[RoseAli]

So I had a catch up with my cousin who visited pakistan for few weeks and I am shocked to hear her stories. What I am about to say doesn’t refer to ALL pakistani’s but SOME. Okkie yes I know in terms of clothing girls have gone more modern and try to be more westernised by wearing sleeveless kurtas or see through kurtas where you can see their under garments. I have seen it in my own eyes, Girls in Lahore, wearing transparent sleeveless kurtas with leggings etc. Yes, That’s one thing but I didn’t expect to go more over board.

My cousin says.

Pre-marital sex has gone very common in PK. In universities specially (LUMS and more)?? girls having boyfriends but also going a step further by sleeping with them? OMG! Its gone very common? That’s not all even oral sex is very common there. Apparently there is a rise of “porn” in pakistani community?!!

Boys on the other hand digs for pictures which has girls sitting with their legs open (wearing leggings) etc and invite girls for sex. And they easily say yes? What has gone wrong? Have they lost their morals?

Education is just an excuse for some girls so that there parents can let them go, they can hang out with boys n what not!

What has happened to Good Old pakistan ERA when I used to live there? What happened to girls? Have they lost their respect? Fashion, I understand but going a step further?? Thats unbeliveable! My parents used to think living abroad we have to be more careful for girls etc, give proper up bringings etc so that they don’t follow British culture in terms of sex, boyfriends etc. But this is happening in pakistan. Frankly, I think pakistani girls in UK are far more conservative, know their values and have a balance of both british and pakistani culture. Living in Westernised culture, we desi’s have learned to achieve a balance of both culture and religion.

My hubby used to talk about how he missed pakistan and how he wants our kids to get pakistani culture and respect. If that’s whats happening in pakistan, I am scared to send them off to pakistani schools/unis! Living in UK is way much better than bringing your kids than in Pakistan! My maternal instincts are already talking!

I am shocked!

Again this post does not generalise all pakistani community.

[Princess1983]

Re: Has pakistani's lost their values and morals?

So I had a catch up with my cousin who visited pakistan for few weeks and I am shocked to hear her stories. What I am about to say doesn't refer to ALL pakistani's but SOME.

*I'd say change the name of this thread because it may say otherwise to people...just saying. *

Okkie yes I know in terms of clothing girls have gone more modern and try to be more westernised by wearing sleeveless kurtas or see through kurtas where you can see their under garments. I have seen it in my own eyes, Girls in Lahore, wearing transparent sleeveless kurtas with leggings etc. Yes, That's one thing but I didn't expect to go more over board.

As far as I'm aware (through my siblings whose Mums side of the family come from Lahore) a lot of Indian fashion trends come through to Lahore more as influence than say in the Village areas of Pakistan so I don't think the transparency of the kurtas or leggings and so forth actually surprise me. I don't think it's a true reflection of all girls though but if that's what they wear and feel comfortable in then I guess each to their own?

My cousin says.

Pre-marital sex has gone very common in PK. In universities specially (LUMS and more)?? girls having boyfriends but also going a step further by sleeping with them? OMG! Its gone very common? That's not all even oral sex is very common there. Apparently there is a rise of "porn" in pakistani community?!!

*I'd hate to be the one to break it to you but the whole Porn thing has been happening world over for God only knows how long. The internet is a dangerous place. A lot of countries as far as I'm aware have a 'secret' porn industry. If you look up stats on what people google you will find Asian girls are quite in demand-I found this out whilst at University and was studying the 'MTV effect' on life and culture. Go figure right? As for oral sex; hhmmmmm I think that would depend on their religious belief but that's a different thread. If you watch Bollywood films have you never noticed how sexualised their dance routines are? Or how 'wet' the girls saris are as they dance around? Or how a lot of the old 80s/90s films had rape all over them and it was acceptable? Same rules I'm afraid would apply over the 'fence'. It's horses for courses-not everyone is doing it as you already know. * Boys on the other hand digs for pictures which has girls sitting with their legs open (wearing leggings) etc and invite girls for sex. And they easily say yes? What has gone wrong? Have they lost their morals? ** Lord have mercy child; easy girls and boys are everywhere...why your cousin is making it sound like this just happens in Pakistan is beyond me. If you think just because it's the Islamic Republic of Pakistan it should be 'paak' then I'm afraid you are mistaken. Things happen....like they do all over the globe! **

Education is just an excuse for some girls so that there parents can let them go, they can hang out with boys n what not! ** Hahahahahahahahahaha.**

What has happened to Good Old pakistan ERA when I used to live there? What happened to girls? Have they lost their respect? Fashion, I understand but going a step further?? Thats unbeliveable! My parents used to think living abroad we have to be more careful for girls etc, give proper up bringings etc so that they don't follow British culture in terms of sex, boyfriends etc. But this is happening in pakistan. Frankly, I think pakistani girls in UK are far more conservative, know their values and have a balance of both british and pakistani culture. Living in Westernised culture, we desi's have learned to achieve a balance of both culture and religion.

**So let me let you in on a secret or three. Back in the 'good old days' there were Backstreet abortion clinics in Pakistan. Do you think the majority of these women were married seeking to abort their child? And the girls that would visit their 'village elders sons' in the middle of the night? In terms of sex the attitude towards it will differ from generation to generation but then there will be a group that WILL experiment regardless of where they are raised.

Upbringing matters EVERYWHERE. The grass is always greener on the other side. Not many will look back on the place they were raised and pick fault with it as a lot of our elders do today.**

My hubby used to talk about how he missed pakistan and how he wants our kids to get pakistani culture and respect. If that's whats happening in pakistan, I am scared to send them off to pakistani schools/unis! Living in UK is way much better than bringing your kids than in Pakistan! My maternal instincts are already talking! :)

See above-grass...green..otherside..... ** You need to raise good Muslims that can thrive in any environment RoseAli; you won't be able to babysit them 24/7 for their whole lives and they will come into contact with what you find unsuitable. **

I am shocked!

Again this post does not generalise all pakistani community.

I wouldn't rely on the words of one person to make your decisions...just saying.

[fairytopia]

Re: Has pakistani's lost their values and morals?

So I had a catch up with my cousin who visited pakistan for few weeks and I am shocked to hear her stories. What I am about to say doesn't refer to ALL pakistani's but SOME. Okkie yes I know in terms of clothing girls have gone more modern and try to be more westernised by wearing sleeveless kurtas or see through kurtas where you can see their under garments. I have seen it in my own eyes, Girls in Lahore, wearing transparent sleeveless kurtas with leggings etc. Yes, That's one thing but I didn't expect to go more over board.

My cousin says.

Pre-marital sex has gone very common in PK. In universities specially (LUMS and more)?? girls having boyfriends but also going a step further by sleeping with them? OMG! Its gone very common? That's not all even oral sex is very common there. Apparently there is a rise of "porn" in pakistani community?!!

Boys on the other hand digs for pictures which has girls sitting with their legs open (wearing leggings) etc and invite girls for sex. And they easily say yes? What has gone wrong? Have they lost their morals?

Education is just an excuse for some girls so that there parents can let them go, they can hang out with boys n what not!

What has happened to Good Old pakistan ERA when I used to live there? What happened to girls? Have they lost their respect? Fashion, I understand but going a step further?? Thats unbeliveable! My parents used to think living abroad we have to be more careful for girls etc, give proper up bringings etc so that they don't follow British culture in terms of sex, boyfriends etc. But this is happening in pakistan. Frankly, I think pakistani girls in UK are far more conservative, know their values and have a balance of both british and pakistani culture. Living in Westernised culture, we desi's have learned to achieve a balance of both culture and religion.

My hubby used to talk about how he missed pakistan and how he wants our kids to get pakistani culture and respect. If that's whats happening in pakistan, I am scared to send them off to pakistani schools/unis! Living in UK is way much better than bringing your kids than in Pakistan! My maternal instincts are already talking! :)

I am shocked!

Again this post does not generalise all pakistani community.

Well, the type of people your cousin met with lead to the stories she told you. don't bring up a bad image of 'some' Pakistanis. it's bad enough that we're always on the news. no need to actually be weird about it. just my 2 cents.

[Paheli00]

Re: Has pakistani’s lost their values and morals?

@Princess1983

**You need to raise good Muslims that can thrive in any environment RoseAli; you won’t be able to babysit them 24/7 for their whole lives and they will come into contact with what you find unsuitable. **

^ This!!! :k:

[thedoer]

Has pakistani's lost their values and morals?

Come om thats old news. I heard about this like 10 years ago!

[McPendo]

Re: Has pakistani's lost their values and morals?

The see through dress is true, I've seen Pakistani girls in LUMS wear that.

[Krypton]

Re: Has pakistani's lost their values and morals?

hah, your good old pakistan has always been this way. It's silly to assume that all people of one country are the same

[rosedreams]

Has pakistani's lost their values and morals?

My friends who visit Pak tell me the same thing. Sex , drugs and drinks is very common especially in the "higher class".

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Has pakistani's lost their values and morals?

This kind of stuff has always been around, just behind closed doors. Didn't you guys hear about military wives getting swapped for sex in the time period that Ayoob Khan was in power?

I think it's a small portion of society, even now. Even amongst the rich , there are the uber liberal rich and then there are families with money where they even wear burqas outside the house, so it goes both ways. It's just that these stories catch everyone's attention, and Pakistani female gossip line goes haywire and this is all you hear.

You never hear about the good girls who got a proper education and are doing good for their community - no one gossips about them, our lot is too boring, but I can tell you that most Pakistani girls I know are not that crazy. There are some, few, but you'll always have the rebels.

[khattichic]

This kind of stuff has always been around, just behind closed doors. Didn't you guys hear about military wives getting swapped for sex in the time period that Ayoob Khan was in power?

I think it's a small portion of society, even now. Even amongst the rich , there are the uber liberal rich and then there are families with money where they even wear burqas outside the house, so it goes both ways. It's just that these stories catch everyone's attention, and Pakistani female gossip line goes haywire and this is all you hear.

You never hear about the good girls who got a proper education and are doing good for their community - no one gossips about them, our lot is too boring, but I can tell you that most Pakistani girls I know are not that crazy. There are some, few, but you'll always have the rebels.

Totally agree :K

[andekhianjaani]

Re: Have Pakistanis lost their values and morals?

I think only people who have lived in Pak for a certain amount of time would be able to understand and feel concerned. I feel in Pakistan some parents tend to rely on the surroundings for the upbringing of their children assuming the values of everyone to be very similar if not same. One major difference I noticed when I moved here was that no one feels the absolute need to do what everyone is doing unlike most of the people (that I came in contact with) in Pak.

[chacha_Ghalib]

Re: Has pakistani’s lost their values and morals?

@PyariCgudia

This kind of stuff has always been around, just behind closed doors. Didn’t you guys hear about military wives getting swapped for sex in the time period that Ayoob Khan was in power?

No PCG, we didn’t hear about that. Enlighten us!!

I think it’s a small portion of society, even now. Even amongst the rich , there are the uber liberal rich and then there are families with money where they even wear burqas outside the house, so it goes both ways. It’s just that these stories catch everyone’s attention, and Pakistani female gossip line goes haywire and this is all you hear.

You never hear about the good girls who got a proper education and are doing good for their community - no one gossips about them, **our lot **is too boring, but I can tell you that most Pakistani girls I know are not that crazy. There are some, few, but you’ll always have the rebels.

[RocketSocket]

Re: Have Pakistanis lost their values and morals?

Being western is considered cool in Pakistan these days so that just sums it up.

[devilish_angel]

Re: Has pakistani's lost their values and morals?

This kind of stuff has always been around, just behind closed doors. Didn't you guys hear about military wives getting swapped for sex in the time period that Ayoob Khan was in power?

I think it's a small portion of society, even now. Even amongst the rich , there are the uber liberal rich and then there are families with money where they even wear burqas outside the house, so it goes both ways. It's just that these stories catch everyone's attention, and Pakistani female gossip line goes haywire and this is all you hear.

You never hear about the good girls who got a proper education and are doing good for their community - no one gossips about them, our lot is too boring, but I can tell you that most Pakistani girls I know are not that crazy. There are some, few, but you'll always have the rebels.

yes this is.....

[stoppit]

Re: Have Pakistanis lost their values and morals?

But don't people think 'things' have become more extreme. Certainly, I've seen a huge difference in behaviour and attitudes over a 9 year period of regular trips to Pakistan.

The internet and mobile phones seem to have made it a lot easier. For example, parents who think their girls are little angels since they don't spend time out of the house except for their education but they are fully versed in sexting.

[Paheli00]

Re: Have Pakistanis lost their values and morals?

But don't people think 'things' have become more extreme. Certainly, I've seen a huge difference in behaviour and attitudes over a 9 year period of regular trips to Pakistan..

But that happens everywhere as each generation tries to push the envelope. Even in the U.S., things have gotten more "extreme" in the last 10 years in terms of just how open we are regarding sexuality.

[sarad]

Re: Have Pakistanis lost their values and morals?

I have seen a huge difference but it is still not like what OP posted.
Its not so common that if you go to a university, all you hear and talk about is sex and sexting.

I think along with internet and cell phone usage it has to do with media too.
When I moved to US, I stopped watching Pakistani TV. I started watching again around 1 yr back. So when I saw what was on the TV I was certainly surprised. I had always watched TV with my parents when I was in Pakistan and some of the stuff that was on Pakistani TV, I would not have felt comfortable watching with my dad.

When everything is so open and casual on the media, people start taking it casually too.

[Jolie]

Re: Has pakistani's lost their values and morals?

*I'd hate to be the one to break it to you but the whole Porn thing has been happening world over for God only knows how long. The internet is a dangerous place. A lot of countries as far as I'm aware have a 'secret' porn industry. If you look up stats on what people google you will find Asian girls are quite in demand-I found this out whilst at University and was studying the 'MTV effect' on life and culture. Go figure right? *

The lady's made very valid point which you've clearly missed. She's right about drastically growing and unregulated porn industry in Pakistan. Pakistan recently made it on the top of the list for internet porn. It's alarming situation for country where are no child and cyber safety laws. The lawmakers should certainly look into this and any sensible parent would rightly be worried about this scary development.

[Jolie]

Re: Have Pakistanis lost their values and morals?

Indeed the youth phenomena exists in every country but when it comes to getting the laws, priorities, opportunities right, Pakistan has certainly lost the plot. The subject is too deep for life and relationship forum but its not about girls from LUMS wearing sea through clothes, its about how grossly class divided the country has become. And that's the main issue. The superficiality, the shallowness and the obsession to have a certain type of physical appearance and presentation just to convey the impression that you belong to a certain social class. To sum up OP's post, she's precisely talking about the toxic phenomena that's known as elitism in Pakistan.

*I'd hate to be the one to break it to you but the whole Porn thing has been happening world over for God only knows how long. The internet is a dangerous place. A lot of countries as far as I'm aware have a 'secret' porn industry. If you look up stats on what people google you will find Asian girls are quite in demand-I found this out whilst at University and was studying the 'MTV effect' on life and culture. Go figure right? *

The lady's made very valid point which you've clearly missed. She's right about drastically growing and unregulated porn industry in Pakistan. Pakistan recently made it on the top of the list for internet porn, that was all over the media. It's alarming situation for country where there are no child and cyber safety laws and depressing education rate. The lawmakers should certainly look into this and any sensible parent would be rightly worried about this scary development.

[STONECOLD]

The title of this post implies that there were some morals to begin with. Funny, because I always thought we had none to begin with.