So, I have a dillema. Let’s say there are 2 aunties in this story. One lives locally and the other lives in Canada. The Canada aunty is arriving for a wedding in our city and is related to me (from far). I don’t really know her. Just heard of her. Originally, she was supposed to stay with her family at local aunty’s house. Because, “Local” aunty’s family has a shaadi. Her son’s shaadi to be specific. I am not that good friends with them either. Just know them thru our masjid. We are all invited to this wedding.
The local aunty recently found out that canada aunty is related to me (by me of course) and has conveniently informed me that canada family will stay with me for the weekend of the wedding.
I am pissed. Because, this lady should have kept them at her house, since it was her family wedding and they have nothing to do with me really. I have never met them before and they are not closely related.
So, I called canada aunty (my far relative, who I have never met) and said I can only accomodate 2 ppl. She has a family of 5. Personally, I think local aunty is an opportunist and has tried to dump her guests on me for her own convenience. I am pissed.
Look what you should do is make excuses, if you do not like certain people in your life than avoid them as much as possible. Do not listen to people who tell you to make amends, seriously there is too much Drama and last thing you need is another one.
Help them when they are in need and in these situations just tell them you are not ready or will be avaiable to assist them properly.
If its for a day or two I would just say try to manage it if u can afford it and if u have the space.....cuz u know how PK ppl can be with putting a bad rep on u....and when she sees u at the wedding it will feel weird when u see her and she didn't stay at ur house....just think abt it with a cool mind...
Now I'm assuming that you don't live with your parents because if you did, I'm assuming they'd be dealing with this mess.
Now assuming that you're a grown adult female with your own household.......an "aunty" TELLS you that another woman who you don't even know will stay in YOUR house because the first "aunty" invited them to come over....and you go along with it ......it makes YOU look bad in my eyes. See, this is the problem with desis.....they let other people treat them like crap over and over again just b/c they don't want other people to talk bad about them. This isn't high school.......we're talking about you letting in a woman and her family so stay in YOUR house who you have NEVER met! You have no idea who these people are....other than knowing that you're somehow related to them by blood.
I'd say either say no....or in this case, since you already told the aunty in Canada you can accomadate 2 people...then stick to that. Accomadate 2 people and 2 people ONLY. If the Canada aunty decides to bring all 5 family members....well, then you can give them the # to the nearest hotel.
If the local "aunty", or others talk bad about you b/c you didn't let another "aunty" TELL you who can come and go in YOUR house....then do you really want to associate with those kind of people?
If you let this "aunty" do this to you this 1 time...why shouldn't she continue disrespecting you in the future? Why shouldn't she pull similar crap in the future where SHE "informs" YOU who will be staying in YOUR house?
Oh ok....If you have kids...heck then I would've said say "no" to the whole thing. If I had kids, I'd never allow strangers to stay in my house....and even though these people may be related to you by blood, you've never met them so as far as your husband/kids are concerned, they're strangers.
Just out of curiosity, what does your husband say about all this?
Don't let this "aunty" do this to you just b/c you don't want others to talk bad about you......Make a decision with your husband which you two are comfortable/happy with......if anyone else has a problem with the decision you two make regarding your house, then they can just kiss you know what. :)
I usually keep almost anyone at our house as long as they don’t steal anything. In my experience aunties are nosy but don’t put anything in their purses. hehe anyway, take guests as guests, your relatives or not, take them as Allah ki rahmat at the expense of your zahmat and you won’t be that anxious about it.
The worst you can do is let them stay and be bitter about it. Either say no, or receive them and be your normal happy self.
I am not busy...I have already comitted to this wedding from weeks before. So, they know my plans are to attend this shaadi. My husband is uncomfortable but hes not saying much because after all the canada aunty is my far relative.
The problem here is that these strangers are not her guests. They're not coming here to see her...heck they never came to see her in her whole life. She didn't invite them. Is she supposed to accomadate other people's guests too?
^Whenever we hav relatives coming to stay at our house, we just sleep on the floor, or in the living room, who cares. But then again our family is tight, so we don't mind such things, ur case is a little complex, talk to the aunty that screwed you over, don't blame it on the other aunty.
Diva the best thing possible to do here is call the Canada aunty and explain to her how you are short of space and even though you'd love to have all of 'em stay at your house, you just dont have the resources to provide accomodation to all of 'em.
Also to help her out, its not her fault you know.
Google up some hotels/motels in your area and find the one which isnt that expensive and pass on that info to her.
She's coming from Canada she may not know the localities of your area and your info on hotels and their pricing to suit her would help her a lot.
hehe anyway, take guests as guests, your relatives or not, take them as Allah ki rahmat at the expense of your zahmat and you won’t be that anxious about it.