Just on the perspective of amazing relationships I will say a few things, it is not enough that a man was able to win his wife over 5,10,15,20 years ago and the woman was able to make his heart stop once. Relationship is work, it is a lot of work and it is hard work and people who don’t put in the work will not end up with great relationships, they will live together under the same roof as room mates. It is a husbands job to win her over again every day for the rest of their lives and it is a woman job to be the best for him.
A relationship is like a bank account, you make deposits and withdrawals, anything good you do is a deposit, anything bad you do wipes out 10 deposits. My psychologist had told me that happiness only comes from relationships and yet we are willing to work 18 hours a day for money and cant spare a few moments to work on our relationship.
Smart people make relationship goals, I did with my children also, short term and long term and I am amazed that the results are more amazing than I ever Imagined. Love should not be taken for granted, it should be reinforced, ever since the children were very little we hugged them several times a day, made a huge deal when they came back from school everyday, jumped with joy and hugged them. families need to do things together, go camping, go to picnics, watch movies, play games, play pranks. My wife loves to sleep and we would all run int her room and make a dog pile on her.
My goal with my children is that when I die they could reminisce for days about the fun times we had. I cannot reminisce even for a few moments about the activities we did when we were young.
As some poster mentioned a typical desi guilt tripping, sacrifices blah, blah..guilt trip guilt trip, I did this for you is not good, it is toxic. I want my wife to want me to desire me not burdened by ahsan or guilt but because she wants to be with me, because she has fun with me, because we laugh together, because we tease.
The most horrible thing I see in desi families is also guilt tripping and emotionally manipulating the children with look at the sacrifices the parent s made, blah, bla, blah and you owe us respect etc. In my opinion, respect is earned and not deserved.
A cheaters kids will never respect a man who hurt their mother. My biggest achievement in life is when my strapping 6 ft tall sons proudly hug me in front of their friends and are not ashamed to walk with me in the hall ways of the uni and let me sleep on the floor in their apartment in the uni when I go to visit them.
I live for how my children will remember me after I die
Ask your husband if his tharak is worth losing the respect of his children.
This is not directly related to the post but just stuff in general about a good relationship.
I was sad when I heard a poster say that she is happy on the day nothing goes wrong, the life you have should be such that you would want to jump out of bed.
