I recently visited a friend’s house who lives with her parents and younger sibs. What I saw there shocked me. I guess her mom was not feeling well or something so the younger sister had cooked food. So while it was being served, her dad started taunting her like, why dont YOU ever cook??? You don’t clean or do anything around the house. She just replied with you always have a problem with me and left. She was crying when I followed her to the room and she said that she works basically all day long and by the time she comes home, the younger sister already has prepared food and it’s not like she can do anything. The taunts keep going even though the parents see that she works from early mornings until really late. She was so miserable and I did not like the tone her dad had while he said it to her. Since childhood, she has never been into cleaning and stuff even though she does cook from what I know. She is not even all that close to her family but in the last few months, she has attempted to spend more time with her parents especially her mother and to help around the house. And on top of it all, she works also. It seems to me like her parents either don’t realize that she is making an effort or just don’t care. When I saw her crying, I felt so bad. I wish I could do something or advice her that would make her feel better. You guys have any ideas?
Re: harsh parents
^How is that even related?
Re: harsh parents
thats what came to my mind after reading all tht..
i mean if a father is trying to get his daughter to help around the house it is not to hurt his daughter's feeling.
Re: harsh parents
shay9164,
the father has his own demons to fight.
and he is being ignorant about his obligation to be kind to his daughter and wife.
because when he is angry with the daughter, obviously the mother is not enjoying that. but it makes her feel bad.
this father is making his daughter distanced from him.
he has no idea that he is doing so and when his time will come, he will be only lucky if the daughter will be kind to him.
although most daughters are kind to their parents regardless.
the age of rebellion is perhaps teenage. but also early 20s.
sometimes this pressure can cost the life of the young one as such children like to do something drastic like hurt themselves to get parents' attention.
what you can do, is perhaps speak with her mom, and bring your mom along, if you think you can, to discuss this and hopefully your friend's mom will feel stronger and can influence her husband's negative and repulsive attitude towards his daughter.
best,
Dushwari
Re: harsh parents
You know it's really pathetic that parents HAVE to belittle thier children in front of others. To do it behind closed doors is one thing, but to humiliate them in front of their friends or others? That's just a terrible thing to do. What the hell is wrong with such people?
Generally speaking--it's really disturbing that to drive, you need a license and go through hoops...but to give life and raise a kid, any ghatya minded insaan can have a kid
Re: harsh parents
parents will always be parents, and as all baray say " iss mein bhi woh kuch achhaayee soch rahey hongay" but ppl fget the point that by doing this they are killing the person internally. :k:
Re: harsh parents
Maan Baap to Maan Baap hi hote hain, unki baat ka kiya bora mananna.
Re: harsh parents
I thik there is more to thios story than what you have stated here sheyn.
There are probably other reasons for strife between her and her parents.
Re: harsh parents
your friend is in dire need of ISLAMIC PARENTS.
Re: harsh parents
I thik there is more to thios story than what you have stated here sheyn.
There are probably other reasons for strife between her and her parents.
I agree. I also think that something else is the main issue in the family or at least between your friens and her parents.
I remember how a friend's parent treated her due to her rebellious opnions about cousin marriage. After a very long time, her parents has concluded that she was actually right and now they treat her like an angel even thoug she is still the same.....
so try to see if your friend is having other issues with her family and see how u can help her. sometimes just listeing to others can be a great help to offer:)
Re: harsh parents
it seems to me like her mother is not understanding, very emotional and tends to be very harsh. whenever the girl or anyone in their family tries to point something that she has done wrong, she starts this whole drama so she does not have to take blames, does not accept her mistakes and simply storms off after which she stops talking to the family member completely. thats one of the reasons why she and her mother have such a difficult relationship because the mom refuses to even try to salvage the relationship and does not want to take any blames. the father is another story. he constantly compares her to another sister and uses very harsh words. but it seems like it's more complicated with the mother because there have been times when she has come to our house and talked crap about her daughter right in front of my family. i cant even imagine how embarrasing it must be for the daughter to hear from people that her own mom goes around saying such bad things about her.