Everyone goes through some level of hardship in life. Granted what one may consider hardship, another may not but for the sake of this discussion let’s suggest that the degree of difficulty all around is comparable.
So we have two people…A and B. Both endure challenges in life. Both struggle and face the same degree of success and failure in dealing with the challenges.
Why is it that person A becomes miserable, bitter and generally angry towards life while person B becomes more and more patient and tolerant?
What is the ingredient that makes the two of these people end up in different places?
Person A may be more pessimistic by nature.. hold a negative attitude towards life and people.. focus entirely or mainly on the failures and unfairness.. or simply be tired of all the challlenges he or she has had to deal with.
Maybe one of them practices their deen more regularly or has a closer relationship with Allah. Maybe one of them has a lesser ego. By that I mean that perhaps one of them realizes that Allah is in ultimate control and may view their trials in a positive light…as a means of getting closer to Allah. Whereas the other has an attitude of self-entitlement…that they deserve certain worldly things…or maybe it’s not even arrogance. Maybe it’s just that he/she measures life and success according to worldly standards…and have given this world more priority. I think many people…even the best of us…gets caught up in resentful questions like “Why me?” We’re advised to have sabar as soon as a calamity strikes, but that can be hard to do sometimes. The important thing is for one to check themselves when they sense a weakening of iman and try to get back on track again.
It’s an interesting question. I’ve always wondered a similar question…as in what makes some people so accepting of various stories in the Quran that defy natural laws as we know them…whereas other become so stuck on matters like evolution and other details that it may leave them in general state of doubt.
Your upbringing and the people you surround yourself with (the ones you gain inspiration from - your support group) have a huge impact on how you define success/failure and how you cope with challenges.
Also, Allah didn’t create all of us equally (emotionally or intellectually). The saying Allah doesn’t give us more than we can take suggests that the degree of our fair share of challenges that we can handle in a lifetime is different for each and every one of us. For some people, the loss of one loved one is enough to break their spirit while to another person, the loss of an entire clan might still leave them relatively unaffected (because they are better equipped to deal with that kind of loss).
No matter how identical the situations look, there is no such thing as identical situation. There always is a difference of (person’s) nature, support system (people around you) etc that makes the ultimate difference.
If you cook two eggs, both at 350 degrees, one on electric stove, other on gas stove, one in non-stick pan and other in cast iron pan, result will be different even though heat provided was exactly same.
It all depends on the individual and the circumstances. Factors could be levels of acceptance and tolerance as well as a support structure (family and friends).
Can a negative outlook on live also not be down to how your family are and genes? Most of my family like to put themselves down and generally be negative in nature which unfortunately has been generously been passed on to me but I am trying to overcome this attitude. I truly feel relying and trusting god does help you to become positive and not let things affect you as much.
But sometimes theres only so much one can endure. if you keep on going through hard times without any positives you will inevitably be like “why me?”, as opposed to someone who does face a lot of troubles but also faces good times.
**I am also going to assume that both person A and B have NO religious faith or inclination…
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Throw the same white light into a prism. It becomes evident the creative plurality of light. Each its own inherent natural character, yet it shares its nature with other photon particles. Similarly, every individual has this personality variant entrusted upon him.
33:72 (Asad), We did offer the trust [of reason and volition] to the heavens, and the earth, and the **mountains: [SUP][87][/SUP] but they refused to bear it because they were afraid of it. Yet man took it up - [SUP][88][/SUP] for, verily, he has always been prone to be most wicked, most foolish.
My understanding. Allah knows BEST. *Nawab Knows NOT!
Ever since people around me started having children I’ve realised human beings do come in with some set of attributes at birth. It’s crazy how much personality a 4 month old can have. That personality either gets diluted by parenting or enhanced. The point is that human beings are not the same. Some are sensitive, some are tough, some can bend, others will break. Everyone has a breaking point and I can’t use my own threshold to judge what’s right and what’s wrong.
Can you or someone else please explain this ayah in detail…what is being referred to when it’s said that the man took up the offer of reason/volition? When were we given this choice? Or I am reading this wrong?
Oh and as for the original post, I’d say if two people start off on an equal footing and the subsequent calamities faced by both are comparable, then the varied reaction of each is attributable to their disposition.
But what if one of them was affored some respite once in a while and for the other the downward spiral never subsided? What if one of of them started off from deprived conditions and for them there is no alternative perspective which can explain their contentment and or resignation. Going from peak to trough is always harder. What if one of them was always more ambitious and setbacks would probably affect them more than the other? What if for one of them, failure is more costly than for the other?
This is a very deep philosophical question. It entails, in my understanding, the discussion of personality, freedom of choice, freedom to act, the human ego, etc.
But for a mere translation here are a few:
Muhsin Khan
Truly, We did offer AlAmanah (the trust or moral responsibility or honesty and all the duties which Allah has ordained) to the heavens and the earth, and the mountains, but they declined to bear it and were afraid of it (i.e. afraid of Allah’s Torment). But man bore it. Verily, he was unjust (to himself) and ignorant (of its results). Yusuf Ali
We did indeed offer the Trust to the Heavens and the Earth and the Mountains; but they refused to undertake it, being afraid thereof: but man undertook it;- He was indeed unjust and foolish;- Shakir
Surely We offered the trust to the heavens and the earth and the mountains, but they refused to be unfaithful to it and feared from it, and man has turned unfaithful to it; surely he is unjust, ignorant;
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Note, there is apparently an element of choice even with mountains and celestial bodies, but what human beings have is a different type beyond the primitive state granted after acceptance .
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Allah knows best. Nawab knows not
@ my analogy. I guess I am hungry. time to eat bf
