first lemme clear that not even a rishta come for me so rejecting me is far from the discussion. :D, but I strongly believe that it is a good way to see and meet new kinda peoples. i am really close to my mother and I do share my perspectives with her and tell her my analysis
so how do u guys handle it? i know many girls start bad-mouthing the guy and his family (whom she really wanted to be a part of), and guys just cant imagine that someone rejected them. but still i hope many girls and guys here on GS are not living in a dream land and do take a pessimistic approach, which turn out to be true.
so how do u handle it?
a. Jaan Chooti
b. meray KAbil nahi tha/thee, so ALLAH SWT will grant me someone better
c. rona-dhona and then Kameenay-kameeni ka qeema bana ker rekhana.
d. other rxns.
Always breathe a sigh of relief and thank goodness I do not have to go through the tourture of being married.
I sometimes do go though option C though, when I find out the silly reasoning behind the rejections... ' oh her mother is dead, thats not good' or 'She's too simple'
Never had a formal rishta come to my home, so can’t say how I’d handle a rejection in that case - I probably might not react a whole lot, because it’s be like having a request for a refund on Amazon over a book sold.
So whatever.
Rejection in terms of the pathetic few relationships I’ve had - I’ve given them my anger, and it was honestly well deserved. First lamer - was talking me up while he was engaged. So yeah, when he rejected me and then I found out what he was doing, I jumped like a dog rabid with rabies. Second guy - was too much of a mommy’s boy, and didn’t like the fact that I even spoke to the first guy in the first place. Which I think was a retarded reason to break something up, so I did give him some gaalian upon the break up. The third - well that one is openly discussed in my blog - he got in trouble on some website ( :halo: ) and then emailed me saying he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore and emailed all his other buddies and did the same. Which was probably the most retarded of the three, and so I let him know it.
If there is an aqalmand break up and the guy sits down with me and has a direct honest conversation, I can respect him. But being a total chichora when you break up, yeah that will get me really angry, really easily.
And in all honesty, as dating isn't really part of our culture, our boys are never taught how to properly let a woman know that things aren't going to work out. So you can blame the family for never teaching him how to respect women, because along with respecting women comes the art of knowing how to respectfully let a woman off the hook.
There is a way to do it nicely, and if it is not done nicely, I can see why girls get upset over break-ups in our culture.
I mean, seriously. Watch a few chick flicks, why don't ya and figure out how to do it correctly. You're watching movies and pornos to figure out how to have sex, right? So why not use the media to figure out how to respect women, if you're not being taught those lessons at home?
If were talkin abt a rishta then it doesnt bother me if i get rejected or even if i reject tht persond dnt kno them so no harm dun! **
**However talkin abt a relationship and when u really love some1 n u get rejected after a long time of being together then it hurts like a b*tch, and i wud pick 'A' :(
And in all honesty, as dating isn't really part of our culture, our boys are never taught how to properly let a woman know that things aren't going to work out. So you can blame the family for never teaching him how to respect women, because along with respecting women comes the art of knowing how to respectfully let a woman off the hook.
There is a way to do it nicely, and if it is not done nicely, I can see why girls get upset over break-ups in our culture.
I mean, seriously. Watch a few chick flicks, why don't ya and figure out how to do it correctly. You're watching movies and pornos to figure out how to have sex, right? So why not use the media to figure out how to respect women, if you're not being taught those lessons at home?
I've always taken the approach that both parties are equally entitled to say no to a prospective rishta. Since I've done it in a few cases using the rationale that I knew I wouldn't be happy with the guy for whatever reason - and without thought of apportioning blame on either party - the same principle works if it's the guy that says no.
By my reckoning, I figure that the guy had the foresight to recognize that we wouldn't be compatible/happy or whatever together and he made a decision that was in both of our best interests. I never take it as rejection - just a close escape - which I guess means I pick "A" ;)
Well as far as rejection goes, thoree takleef hotee hai, lekin if you live by my philosophy it kinda gets better, YEH NAHI TO KOI AUR SAHEE, KOI AUR NAHI TO KOI AUR SAHEE.
I have a fairly high self steam and when i do get rejected due to my appearance its like a reminder key DANI BETA GYM jaana chahiye but nothing serious. Life is too short to take anything serious anyways
I quiet honestly respect girls like you as they have self respect and do not cry about such stupidities, cuz i know a few who all they did was cry and pin pointed their mistakes and some how convinced themselves that they were the reason for the breakup. That frankly is pathaetic. A guy should have the decency or courage to atleast let the girl know the reason and end it on a proper note.
It's a no-brainer that rejection will hurt more if you really had your heart set on something. If we're not interested in a person, their rejection doesn't really affect us.
Although rejection is a part of life, one thing I've observed is that sometimes it's not the rejection itself, BUT THE MANNER in which you were rejected that can be so painful and hard to get over.
I've seen that there are some individuals whose heads are SOOO big (perhaps it's arrogance) that they feel the need to reject someone over and over and over again even if the other person stopped showing interest a long time ago. They can't just stop at a plain and simple rejection, they have to continue with condescending remarks, indirect insults and mocking, and actions that reflect their disdain. Yes, there are people like that. There's a decent and tacftful way to do everything, even unpleasant tasks such as rejection.
Someone rejected me once saying im too short (not directly to me or my parents but to one of my aunts), even though the guy was just 5'7 himself. But later on they found out that i was american citizen so they came back.
I didn't care at all to be honest.
Someone rejected me once saying im too short (not directly to me or my parents but to one of my aunts), even though the guy was just 5'7 himself. But later on they found out that i was american citizen so they came back.
I didn't care at all to be honest.
lol @ american citizen. Off course American Citizenship is like a high heal ....is main un k kia qasoor? iss sai height barh jatee hai :)
I think rejection is a lot easier to deal with in an arranged situation, because you haven't really had the opportunity to develop feelings for that person, when they say "no".
So, even if they're crass about it, you can just accept that they're crapholes, and move on with your life.
But when you make a connection with someone, and you think, well this might work, and they are not on the same page, or they're just taking you for a ride and not serious and then you're rejected when they get bored with you, it's a totally different feeling.
i think rejection does hurt even if u don't like the guy, because deep in our heart all of us boys or girls wants to be liked by the rishta, even if we are going to reject it, we still wants them to like us.
the only time when it bothered me when one of the stupid family rejected me because i am not punjabi. i just wish they would have come with a better reason then that because apparently they were very religious people, his father is an imam in houston and hafiz-e-quran and half of his family is hafiz-e-quran and in islmaic universties in saudi arabia to become alim. that kind of reason that comeing from them still bothers me.
but ALHAMDULILAH i am just glad that i didn't end up with such a shallow minded people.
The thought of it scares me but come to think of it if we dnt take it very seriously it shudnte be such a big deal. Cuz when u r looking for a rishta u have 2 keep so many factors in mind and if yours is rejected doesnt mean u r bad but cud be just nt an appropriate match for them.
A girl once told me a very nice thing, she said she always take the rishta process as an opportunity to meet new people and doesnt sort of savar it on her mind that oh they r here to evalute me or whatever.
I guess the rishta process that happens here is kinda hard but its always better if u get rishta thru family friends or like that.
