Hi everyone,
I’m getting engaged next month in a hall. As I’ve mentioned in another post, this is the first traditional engagement/wedding in my family. I have never seen a normal engagement happen. One thing that we decided to change is that instead of us exchanging rings, he’s just going to give me a ring. He’ll get his ring at our wedding ceremony.
So, what engagement plan have you used? How did the evening start off? How were you introduced, by whom? Did you and your fiance-to-be walk in together or separately? Were parents asked to walk in as well? Did he do the whole get down on one knee and give you the ring in the hall? Did gift-giving happen before or after he gave you the ring? Any other things that you think I should keep in mind?
oh your 2nd post :).. well normally on engagement.. both walk in separately as far as i hav seen. we usually hav segregatted wedding.. bt in mixed ones i have seen at times the guy and girl dont sit on the same stage..or if they do, there is some distance or separate chairs / sofa arranged for both :)..for ring exchange.. ur mother in law to be may give u the ring.. n any gift exchange takes place after ring exchange. in the end.. the guy leaves alone :)
We walked in separately. I was upstairs when he arrived with his family. Everyone was seated and then I was brought in by my cousins and such. The girl should never be sitting on the stage waiting around for the boy. He should wait for us.
Though my mangni was at home, we had 200 people in attendance.
After the entrance and ring stuff, there were people coming to congratulate us and I think there may have been mithai too. And lots of pictures. After dinner there were dances. It was rather like a mehndi. Just the colors of the decor were different.
mine was at home too, it was held in the garden. It started by my family welcomed him and his family. After that I had my entrance, which was with parents and siblings. After that we exchanged rings (I put his ring on and he put mine. Some people let their mothers do it, which I think is weird!) His mom had brought flower bracelet (Gajraas) that she gave me.
We served food and after that lots and lots of photographers! oh They gave me my clothes and jewelry and we gave him his, which was a salwaar kamiz.
It's more or less like a shadi but more casual.
Some poeple have dances and dolkis too, we didn't. My cousin had a rasam called rasta rookna. which is basically that once the bride enters you don't let the guy sit next to her, you instead ask him for money.
I like the idea of his family and him walk in first, then my family walks in. Would it be okay if my "girls" walk me in rather than my cousins? I'm not close to my cousins. Also, as I mentioned, we're not doing the traditional ring ceremony. He'll be getting me a ring, but I won't be getting him one. Would he still put the ring on my finger as we're both sitting down...or would it be more of a "western" way in which he gets down on one knee in front of everyone and "proposes"?
Thank you all for being so helpful. I'm such a scatter-brain.
^ Why not include all of the girls? So as not to offend people on this happy day? You can make it so that some people hold a dupatta over you, maybe others throw petals, etc. And you can distinguish your girls that way.
I think the kneeling will be a little cheesy in a big gathering like that, but go for it if that's what you want!!
On my engagement I took too long getting ready, everyone ate before I came in. I would have prefered to walk in with my best friend, but my cousins practically pushed her out of the way. I came in by myself, my cousins wanted to bring me in, but then were too shy I sat down, and after a few pictures my fiance put the ring on my finger ( I wanted him on one knee but he didn’t do it ) Had loads more pictures afterwards! We didn’t make a big deal out of the gift giving, I don’t see the point of making a big deal and showing EVERYONE what you give, his family gave gifts for me to my mum before I came in. and we gave his families their gifts right before they left.
I think distinguishing an engagement from any other wedding function can be difficult, but keeping things simple can help. I think Rasta Rohkna is normally done on the wedding day and the dupatta holding is done on a mehndi. I would hate to get engaged to my MIL! It might also be awkward for both of you to sit while getting engaged, because the ring goes on pretty quick.
I sat down, and after a few pictures my fiance put the ring on my finger ( I wanted him on one knee but he didn’t do it 
) Had loads more pictures afterwards! We didn’t make a big deal out of the gift giving, I don’t see the point of making a big deal and showing EVERYONE what you give, his family gave gifts for me to my mum before I came in. and we gave his families their gifts right before they left.