We are planning to do hajj this year. My baby will be 13 months by then in October. I want to go But worried about leaving him behind with my mum. Will he settle down with my mum (dad & brother)? He sometimes cries a lot (So much that he gets red) when he wants to sleep etc, how would anyone soothe him in that situation? Will he need me ?
All in all, I want to know if its possible to do it, and will it be easy for my mum to handle him? I asked husband to call his mum from pak, so that there is an extra set if hands. I know my mum will get exhausted with baby 24/7.
When my wife and I went for Hajj our son was 1 1/2 years old. While I think he might have been ok staying with my Mum or my wife’s Mum we decided to take him along. That was of course quite challenging and we probably could have done more Ibadaat without him there. But Alhamdulillah we were still able to complete all the necessary steps of Hajj and spend some days in Medina as well.
I have been in the same dilemma because of kids since 3 years now I know I wont be able to concentrate in anything if I leave them behind so my husband already went for hi hajj last year alone and wants to take me this year too but I am not sure about it or kids yet.
Apart from us there was only one other family in our group who had brought their kids along. So it seems like it’s not very common. But yes they do issue Hajj visas for kids.
I knowwww… I gave my passport to my husband this morning for hajj booking but now i’m having second thoughts. I havent left him with anyone till now just dont have the courage to do it. What if anything happened to him, i wont be able to forgive myself or anyone. I know i’ll be going towards Allah and Allah will help me… but i dont have peace of mind since i took the decision. Think i wont pay the advance Inshallah i’ll get a second chance.
I went to umrah with husband (we didnt have kids at that time) and honestly I felt bad for the kids there.. not the parents who had a hard time but the kids.. they had no idea what was going on except they were being dragged around in heat and crowds! I can only imagine it being more crowded with hajj.. Perosnally I wont go there with a child.. one they dont understand the significance yet and two its once in a lifetime opportunity for most of us so I would want the best out of it.. not possible with the child unless you make sacrfices like one parent stays in the hotel with the kid, the other goes to masjid and take turns.. possible with umrah but very hard with hajj!
We want to go for hajj inshaAllah but I will wait until our child is in preschool (to give break to grandparents), is more involved in activities with grandparents, can sleep through the night and can understand that mommy and daddy are away but will be back soon.
A friend’s brother went to hajj with his wife and left the kids with grandparents. They also had a baby about a year old or so and 2 older kids but in their case the kids are very close to the grandparents and aunts and uncles. The kids were fine.
If you think your mother cannot handle the baby 24/7, I agree with your idea of either having your MIL or some other person to help your mum.
Another thing I think is babies/kids can feel mother’s presence for instance if my daughter knows that I am around then she will not sleep with her dad and cries a lot but if I am not around she sleeps with dad as well.
Have you ever left your baby with anyone, your mother or babysitter before?
I have been for umrah with kids last year , they were 5 and 2yo and it all ent smooth Alhamdulillah though it was right in beginning of ramadan ut hajj is entirely different and not comparable to umrah. You can do tawafs and saee with kids and you are done in a couple of hours but hajj is 3-4 DAYS !
My sister and her husband took their 15 month old to Hajj last year! Said she would do it all over again!
My brother in law(dewvar) and his wife have taken their daughter to every Hajj and Umrah they have performed since she was a year old. Yes, it is challenging, but it is very much doable.
Another family friend and her hubby who is an Imam in California, took their 14 month old child to Hajj last year. Asking her if it was difficult, she said 'it was difficult at times, but so much easier than we ever imagined and I would not trade it for anything" ..
I have done ummrah and I know the conditions there , I am planning hajj this year inshahallah n will be leaving my 2 year old daughter wth my parents. but I know this thing tht she can stay wth her nana nano n I know my parents can handle her so I am not worried. we planned last year but cancelled it bc of baby n we waited till she is bit older n now this inshahallah we will be going. if you think there are issues i would say wait for next year.
We went for hajj, 3 years ago when our youngest had just turned 2. It was quite difficult as my children had never lived without me before. Allah bless my Ammi for this… She came to our place and took over. my daughters missed me most… But they developed a great bond with nani Amma as well. By the time I came back, my youngest was totally nani’s daughter
I missed my children all the time like wherever i would see a child i would think of mine and all that…but I knew I couldn’t have concentrated on anything if they were there with us. Earlier We had been there for umrah with kids but it seemed either they were hungry/ tired/ sleepy or needed a diaper change ALL THE TIME! Lol…
My cousin went for hajj the same year, we went, but her son was barely an year old. He also did fine under the care of his daadi Amma
I went hajj last year and left my 13 month old behind with my mum and sister. I was very upset about leaving her but I also knew that hajj was a big task n commitment and that I would not be able to concentrate on all the rituals while having my daughter with me.
Allhamdullilah it was a great experience And my daughter was absolutely fine. We went for two weeks. My mum said she asked for me n went towards the door n looked for me for a couple of days but after that was absolute fine. They what’s apped us pics of her everyday n she was mostly always laughing ma sha Allah! When I went to bring her home she wanted to stay with nano n khala instead!!! (That broke my heart a bit n she seemed a bit mad at me for leaving her n stopped calling me mama but within a week or so everything was back to normal)
From what I saw at hajj last year, I seriously would advise you NOT to take your baby. I don’t post here often but am posting just to say this. It is hot n humid n the crowds are crazy, it really is no place for a baby, even if u were able to perform all ur Ibadat with ur child, I think it’s unfair on the baby to be there. Leave him with you mom, trust me no one can take better care if your child than your mother. He will be fine in sha Allah. Babies get used to new environments quickly.
May Allah give you the strength to make this decision, may He (swt) protect and keep your baby happy while you are away and may He (swt) accept your hajj.
Awww i was in the exact same situation as you when we were booking for hajj around this time. My daughter doesn’t sleep without me and You know only once I booked the tickets did she start calling me mama n looking for me n became even more attached with me. Tbh near the time in October I got really upset, she turned 13 months then too, that I wish I didn’t have to leave her behind n I cried my eyes out when I dropped her off at my mums, I had to sneak out coz she wouldn’t have let me go if she knew I was leaving.
Oh and my daughters like your baby, she cries till she goes red n won’t sleep without me. My mum said it was difficult first one or two nights coz she cried for me n looked for me but afterwards she was fine.
But Allhamdullilah it was the best decision I made. Tbh I was fine throughout hajj, I was so involved in Ibadat that I didn’t worry about my daughter, there was one night in mina that I broke down and cried coz something reminded me of her..but apart from that I was fine. I just looked at her pics everyday.
Trust me I’m very paranoid, I kept thinking what if my mum or sis r busy n she crawls Into the kitchen n finds a knife or goes to the loo n gets her hands on cleaning products, I even sat down n told them this. I just felt no one can look after my child better than me or be as cautious as me but she was fine Allhamdullilah. If anything living in a bigger family, she learned to talk more n was even happier.
Put your faith in Allah, make dua that He (swt) makes it easy for you abd your baby. You will be fine. And so will your baby. In sha Allah. Leave him with your mom.
I know I wont be able to concentrate in anything if I leave them behind so my husband already went for hi hajj last year alone and wants to take me this year too but I am not sure about it or kids yet.
Inshallah i’ll get a second chance.
my daughters missed me most… But they developed a great bond with nani Amma as well. By the time I came back, my youngest was totally nani’s daughter