hadiths on divorce

Society Religion & Philosophy
1

Im looking for the religious answers. Please dont detract from my questions because other forums and discussions ive read online all do this and barely answer the question asked :frowning:

Anyway if you could kindly list the reasons a HUSBAND may divorce his wife

And any hadiths - (just hadiths, not imaams verdicts) relating to parents and them instructing their son to leave his wife (with good reason of course, these are God fearing logical thinking parents and son) …and if any hadith that would suggest a son refuse his parents request

I was hoping you could help me lay out all the islamic hadith and guidelines regarding this issue and so then I can take a personal interpretation instead of being told what to think in this case..

Thank you :slight_smile:

2

Re: hadiths on divorce

First thing first. You are in the wrong section. Your thread will be moved to Religion and Scriptures section, where you will get better responses.

I cant remember of a single hadith where a divorce took place (or was refused) based on pressure from parents. The closest I could think of is when Hazrat Ali was sent a proposal of Abu Jahal's daughter and he was thinking about marrying the daughter, and Prophet on hearing the news came to him and said (paraphrasing) that the daughter of Rasool Allah and the daughter of the enemy of Allah cannot be married to the same person so if you want to marry the daughter of Abu Jahal, you have to divorce Fatima (Prophet's daughter). Of course, Ali (RA) refused the proposal and stay married to the Fatima.

3

Re: hadiths on divorce

i can't give you any references to any Hadith but the Islamic reasons that allows a man to give divorce and a woman to seek Khulaa is wide open. it has a wide range of reasons from the very serious one like adultery, cheating to as trivial as just not liking the face of your wife.

the only condition common to all reasons of giving divorce is to be fair and kind. separate with Husn-e-sulook [good intentions and with amicably]. a man must be kind in all aspects of divorce from child custody to wealth distribution and alimony.

4

Sorry my apologies... thank you for your responses :)

Ok to start off, I found the following hadiths online a few days ago while researching all this but I am fairly confident there will be more which I was hoping to gather in one place..

1) Sayyiduna Abd Allah ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that I was married with a woman whom I loved but my father disliked her and ordered me to divorce her, but I refused. Then I mentioned this to the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) who said: O Abd Allah ibn Umar! Divorce your wife.” (Sunan Tirmidhi, no: 1189, Sunan Abu Dawud, no: 5095 & Musnad Ahmad, 2/42)

In another version of this Hadith, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace)said: “Obey your father and divorce her.” (Sahih Ibn Hibban, 2/169 & Mustadrak al-Hakim, 2/197, with concurrence from al-Dhahabi)

2) Sayyida Umayma (Allah be pleased with her) - the freedwoman of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) - relates that I was pouring water over the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) for his ablution when a man entered and said: “Advise me” The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) replied: “Do not associate anything with Allah (shirk) even if you are cut to pieces and burnt alive. And do not disobey your two parents even if they command you to part with your wife and worldly possessions: leave them all....” (Tabrani in his Mu’jam al-Kabir, 24/190 Similar narrations have been narrated by Mu’adh ibn Jabal, Ubada ibn Samit, Abu al-Darada (Allah be pleased with them all)

3) Abu Abd al-Rahman al-Sulami narrates that a man got married but his mother disliked it, so he came to ask Sayyiduna Abu al-Darda (Allah be pleased with him) who said: “Divorce your wife and obey your mother, for I have heard the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) say: “A mother is the middle door to paradise, so either destroy it or preserve it.” (Mustadrak al-Hakim, 4/152, with concurrence from al-Dhahabi)

4) Abu Talha al-Asadi says that I was sitting in the company of Sayyiduna Ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) when two Bedouins came to him and sat on his two sides. One of them said: “I was looking for my camel, hence I visited a tribe. One of their girls pleased me so I married her. My parents swore that they shall never take her in, and the young man (the one asking the question) swore that he would free one thousand slaves and make one thousand gifts and sacrifice one thousand camels if he divorced her” Ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) replied: “I am not one to order you to divorce your wife nor to go against your parents.” He said: “Then what should I do with this woman?” Ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) said: “Observe your parent’s wish.” (Musannaf Ibn Abi Shayba, 5/223)

5) The Prophet of Allah, Sayyiduna Ibrahim (peace be upon him) ordered his son Sayyiduna Isma’il (peace be upon him) to divorce his wife, and he dually obliged in obedience to his father. (Sahih al-Bukhari)

I hope this thread can at least offer some new knowledge to us all

5

Re: hadiths on divorce

You should NOT divorce your wife because your parents asked you to.

6

Re: hadiths on divorce

Talaq ALLAH k nazdeek jaayen kaamon main say say zyada na pasandeeda amal hy. ager apky pass valid reasons hain to hadiths dhondnay ki kia mantaq hy? its not gonna make it look good or give u peace of mind.
ALLAH k nazdeeq muaaf ker dena sab say zyada pasandeeda hy. In sura nisa, ALLAH ka farman hy
"unkay sath bhalay traeeqay say zindagi basar kro, ager wo tumhain na pasand ho to ho sakta hy k aik cheez tumhain pasand na ho, magar ALLAH nay us main bht kuch bhalai rakh di ho"

Again, I am not convincing you not to divorce but Quran has more favoured to keep your women than divorcing unless you got to a point where you cant live with them anymore, then you dont need to search for hadiths.

7

Brother masood, I did not create a thread to find an excuse. This was to learn something, im actually a girl and this topic came up a few days in discussion with someone and so I wished to learn more.

Quraan also mentions the importance of parents especially of mothers. What if this marriage was creating such a unbearable strain on your relationship with your parents, would it be right for a man to eventually choose his parents? Not out of obedience to them - ultimately it is his choice. But because of everything Islam has taught him of the importance of his parents, to continue with this marriage would inevitably mean eventually walking out of his parents lives.

Would you not look at similar situations in hadiths to find some guidance?

8

Re: hadiths on divorce

You can ask a good scholar for an opinion ... doesnt necessary has to be a hadith about it. Walking of the parents is never an option. but Divorcing to keep parent happy? are you serious? you get marry for the sake of it not to make your parents or anybody else happy.

secondly doesnt matter if you are a boy or girl. my opinion will still be the same.

My apologies if I came off a bit aggressive.

9

Sorry perhaps I didnt make my question clear, I simply meant if your partner is the root cause of you distancing yourself from your parents/siblings etc. would a man rather stay in this marriage or do you think he would leave? Not out of obedience to parents but from choice

10

Re: hadiths on divorce

In Sha Allah you will learn a lot by studying a subject through Quran and Hadiths, but I have heard it is Haram for the layman to make a fiqhi opinion for himself. Having said that I will find a hadith for you later that is related to your subject

11

Re: hadiths on divorce

***Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about the ruling on a man divorcing his wife if his father tells him to do that. He said:

If the father tells his son to divorce his wife, one of the following two scenarios must apply:

1 – Where the father gives a legitimate reason why he should divorce her and separate from her, such as saying, Divorce your wife because her behaviour is suspicious, such as she flirts with men or goes out to gatherings that are not decent and so on. In this case the son should agree and divorce her, because he is not telling her to divorce her on the basis of a whim, rather that is to protect his son’s honour from being besmirched, so he should divorce her.

*****2 – Where the father tells his son to divorce his wife because the son loves her, but the father feels jealous of his son’s love for her and the mother is more jealous, because many mothers, when they see that their son loves his wife, feel very jealous, as if the son’s wife is a co-wife and rival. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound. In this case the son does not have to divorce his wife if his father or mother tells her to divorce her. Rather he should be tactful with them and keep his wife, and he should try to convince them with kind words until they are persuaded that she should stay with him, especially if the wife is religiously committed and has a good attitude. **

**Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about this very issue. A man came and said: “My father is telling me to divorce my wife.” Imam Ahmad said to him: “Do not divorce her.” He said: “Didn’t the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) tell Ibn ‘Umar to divorce his wife when ‘Umar told him to do that?” He said: “Is your father like ‘Umar?”

If the father quotes evidence to his son and says, “O my son, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar to divorce his wife when his father ‘Umar told him to do that,” the response to that is: “Are you like ‘Umar?” But you should speak kindly and gently, and say that ‘Umar saw something which indicated that it was in his son’s interests to divorce his wife. This is the answer to this question which comes up frequently.

*Al-Fataawa al-Jaami’ah li’l-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/671.

The Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas was asked about a mother telling her son to divorce his wife for no reason or fault in her religious commitment, rather it was because of the mother’s personal reasons. They replied as follows:
If the situation is as described, that his wife is righteous and he loves her, and she is dear to him, and she does not behave badly towards his mother, and his mother only dislikes her for personal reasons, then he should keep his wife and stay married to her. He does not have to divorce her in obedience to his mother, because it was proven that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Obedience is only with regard to that which is right and proper.” Based on this, he should honour his mother and uphold ties of kinship with her by visiting her and spending on her, and paying attention to her needs and making her happy and pleasing her in whatever ways he can, apart from divorcing his wife.

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 2/29***