Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )

[ShahreyarKhan]

Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )

ok so there are two ways to reply to your comments

firstly - about engagement another topic - but in my opinion super religious has no meaning - either you are correctly religious following all correct practices&beliefs or you are incorrectly religious - you can be super religious but on wrong beliefs so…

see you are confusing between meeting for marriage vs dating - and this is where i want clarification

1 there are marriages in the world that happen purely on 1-2 meetings btw familes or girl and guy and they work out pretty well. so no one can say few meetings (rather than getting to know each other) cannot work. and in those meetings u can talk about weather ceiling whatever.

2 the whole argument i started was on the basis on knowing the diff btw date/dating and meeting for marriage. you have chosen to walk on the line that distinguishes btw them. either you say its dating or meeting for marriage. you can say one or the other are same.

3 take the example of someone here, i can remember who. 6 months of knowing the guy. i dont know what they did. i dont know who else was involved. but the dynamics got screwed up in the end didnt it? i mean how long does one individual/family need to drag it to come up with a decision? 3-4 guy times 6 months u r toast

ok buttomline is - clear up the defn of dating vs meeting for rista how long does each one should take? what should it involve? how do you set mindful limits? why do you really need to reinvent the wheel? etc. etc. etc.

can i go like - im looking for a girl for marriage. but its gonna take me 3 months to get to know you? the girls goes like no thats too short i want 6 month? since i really want to get married? can we see other people too during our dating period? so that i make sure i certainly find someone

so i say plz put out your guidelines for the so called islamic-dating/meeting for marriage

define getting to know each other? getting to know each other means knowing their habits etc. if i ask someone what is your fav dish. if you diff plz clarify

@redvelvet

One of my friends…who is super religious…told me recently that engagements are okay in Islam. I really don’t know what the rulings are on the matter.

But let’s take your argument that you can’t get to know a na-mehram. You say that it’s okay to meet someone…but err…what are they going to talk about in the meeting? The weather? The furniture in the room? The dots on the ceiling? If two mature adults KNOW fully well that they are meeting for the purpose of marriage…then I don’t see any harm in getting to know one another during the meeting/s. They can ask important questions related to marriage. It’s one thing if they’re just meeting for a date and have no serious intentions whatsoever. But in the event that they both have the intention to get to know someone for marriage…I think they dynamics are different because I doubt that it would drag on forever and ever. If after that meeting or a particular time…they find one another unsuitable…things come to an end. And because the two individuals know their purposes/intentions…then they’d be more mindful of their limits compared to two people who are just fooling around with no serious long-term goal in mind.