We always hear what the girls go thru during this process, the pressure and all. But it would be nice to hear what the guys feel about this process and what are their issues with it, if there are any?. Do they have to go thru weird things like girls are made to go thru i.e looking like a christmas tree, serving them food (i thought nobody did this now bt some still do), keep smiling no matter what, etc etc.
Would you tag along with yr parents to see the girl in the first meet-up? To those who have done it, how did it feel? :D…
LOL this reminds me of my cousin from england, they came here looking for a rishta for her and were staying at our place. And their rishta aunty scheduled like 5 meetings in one day at our house, and the poor girl was sitting there all dolled up as one after the other came to our house to check her out. I would never go through that window shopping process, if I were to go for an arranged marriage I would have to make sure that she was the ONE before we even went to their house. The first meeting definitely shouldn't be in that setting, it should be in an informal setting, maybe an accidentally on purpose kind of meeting.
yeah I was made to look like christmas tree on one proposal but unfortunately lerkee waley pakkey muslaman nikely. christmas tree daikh ker bhag leyee :)
yeah I was made to look like christmas tree on one proposal but unfortunately lerkee waley pakkey muslaman nikely. christmas tree daikh ker bhag leyee :)
**
hahaha...did u look like the pic in ur avatar?
Ok, I will speak on behalf of my male counterparts. I think there is some undue pressure being placed by society on males in terms of financial stability (read wealthy and rich). It discourages good people-- with awesome potential and marriageable age -- to postpone or even discard the idea of marriage and companionship. I believe its unfair. Couples can always build the nest, and slowly move towards prosperity, together. It's a call for ladies to lower some expectations, so there are not too many people (males and females) walking around unmarried, when they can fully enjoy the bounties and blessings of companionship and raising a family.
Stability money-wise IS important, but not to the extent our society makes it to be.
We always hear what the girls go thru during this process, the pressure and all. But it would be nice to hear what the guys feel about this process and what are their issues with it, if there are any?. Do they have to go thru weird things like girls are made to go thru i.e looking like a christmas tree, serving them food (i thought nobody did this now bt some still do), keep smiling no matter what, etc etc.
Would you tag along with yr parents to see the girl in the first meet-up? To those who have done it, how did it feel? :D....
I know quite a few guys who have gonne through the rishta process, but I think the process for guys and girls is not comparable. Where girls are showed off and have to meet the mother/sister of the family, guys usually dont have the same issue. A male cousin of mine went through the process and he never met or saw any of the girls his mother saw for him. If she didnt like them or there was something wrong with the family, the rishta process never proceeded hence he actually only met the family of his wife. But that could of course also because of him being overseas and the rishta finding going on in pakistan. However, I dont think most families in pakistan, at least none of thse I know, like to or want to "show off" their daughter to every other joe moe coming.. so no I dont think guys meet or see the girl in the first meetup among the families.
Ok, I will speak on behalf of my male counterparts. I think there is some undue pressure being placed by society on males in terms of financial stability (read wealthy and rich). It discourages good people-- with awesome potential and marriageable age -- to postpone or even discard the idea of marriage and companionship. I believe its unfair. Couples can always build the nest, and slowly move towards prosperity, together. It's a call for ladies to lower some expectations, so there are not too many people (males and females) walking around unmarried, when they can fully enjoy the bounties and blessings of companionship and raising a family. Stability money-wise IS important, but not to the extent our society makes it to be.
Not done it. Not going to. Finding my own wife if I have to. But good freaking god hate the whole dolled up woman routine. What I would prefer is a date at a cafe or dinner we get to chat. If it doesn't go, it doesn't. No need to involve parents.
That brings us to another issue... isn't getting rejected and rejecting (though I hate the use of these words) part of the whole process...? Should it hurt our ego...?
That brings us to another issue... isn't getting rejected and rejecting (though I hate the use of these words) part of the whole process...? Should it hurt our ego...?
See I don't think that would happen if matchmakers actually did their homework. Establish first whether the prospective guy and girl would be willing to take it further, whether the families are a good match, before the rishta process is actually initiated. Sure if some rishta came out of the blue, then you might have to reject, which is why I'm not open to the idea of sending a rishta to someone who you like but you barely know.
^ You see even when the matchmakers do do their homework - and things start nice and smooth but then there happens to be a deadlock on a certain issue - so even sometimes when you take all the precautions, do your homework, it still doesn't work in the end. I think this is a risk everyone has to take in order to find a good match...
^ You see even when the matchmakers do do their homework - and things start nice and smooth but then there happens to be a deadlock on a certain issue - so even sometimes when you take all the precautions, do your homework, it still doesn't work in the end. I think this is a risk everyone has to take in order to find a good match...
The risk is always has to be taken of course, but I'm talking about the window shopping process many people follow. Why even go to the girl's house if you've never even seen her before or never met her either. That's what grinds my gears.
