Guys From London , well some anyway!!!

Hangout Humor (Rated G)
1

Got this through E-mail; thought i would share it

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  1. Some have their hair cut like d****… no hair at the side and a blob of hair at the top.

  2. Others feel the need to wear bomber jackets even in summer… most common form is Schott Jackets. These jackets act as a comfort and security for those guys who get blown away from a light breeze…who are not hard and wish they were…who do not have a built body but like to create the illusion they do. [Basiacally ur a wannabe]

  3. Think they rule the world if they go to a club with a pretty woman.

  4. Ugly guys get the pretty girls. Clever girls go out with the ugly guys for reasons mentioned above.

  5. Try and rub their pelvis up girls asses when in clubs thinking that this is the most effective way to pull girls. Stupid girls like this.

  6. Hang around the dance floor with beer in their hand hoping a babe will come along and compliment them on their wonderful ability to stand there all night without moving an inch .

  7. Are mostly seen driving around in white ford escorts.

  8. Know someone who works in a mobile shop.

  9. Do Business Studies @ College.

  10. Think they are bad cos they have a phone.

11.Had a goatie by the age of 15? TRIED to look older…didnt work though did it …u just ended up looking like a proper knob.

  1. Either have curtains or a crop.

  2. Are planning on going to Middlesex Uni after coming out of Kingston College or Richmond.

  3. Always seem to sit with their legs so wide open! One in america and one in africa…!

  4. Use the words…missions, nahh, innit, seen, skeen, what gwan, rahh, boomting, don, fitttt, tick, fly, beeeyatch, wicked, baaaaad, one time, man, geeza, chirpse, skeet, eeediat frequently! And the new one - Booyakashaaaa..

  5. Refer to their girl as ‘ma bitch’

  6. Have to shake every guys hand they c - even though they dont know them.

  7. Work at either : dixons, argos, wickes, comet, currys, tempo, tandy, cecil gee, baron john, ciro citero, bentalls, JD sports, first sport, cobra, JJB..!

  8. Listen to Garage..RnB..Hip hop ..Rap etc but in secret listen to that hindi crap…and u know u all rate the

backstreet boys??

  1. Have a motto : “Every hole is a Goal!”
    and then u lot wanna marry virgin marys..hmm whats that all about???

  2. Try to dj and mc…urm no pls dont even
    bother trying! Just stick to hanging around Zeniths trying to chirpse girls who u think are 18 but r only 15..!

  3. Have the biggest heads in the world..and the biggest attitudes of the century.

So you cockney lads, is this true???

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Hope no one is offended.

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[This message has been edited by Mariah (edited February 28, 2001).]

2

its a fair cop me guvner!

3

I am from London!

Hey I know Richmond!

Man this is so funny!

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4

lol..Ok this is not bad but the corner shop is truly hysterical. I told that joke to my Indian client who has a corner shop and I swear he was in stitches too.

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5

My sister-in-law told me about this thread.

I'm from London...and buoyyy, it be true! , Man, I seen 'nuff loosers like this in my time....know what I'm sayin'! heheh.

Seriously though, it IS true! Those Puffer jackets, and working in a phone shop...the white Ford Escorts, Garage music, goattee at 15....that is at least 65% of the male population under 25!

I had 3 staff members once who would fit the bill exactly. I would constantly question their dress sense, car choice, music taste and their English.
I banned any form of street lingo around my premises and they actually obliged. I thought I was making progress, when one day I met them after work, and they were back to their normal attire and lingo.
You can't teach an old dog new tricks!

I have since emigrated to Canada....maybe that was the defining moment!

Here, I am actively campaigning against the 'white-washed'!!!!!!!
Got to get a business first before I can employ them and start the transformations. D'oh!!

6

Not quite

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It seems that you’ve just been hanging around with the wrong kind of guys

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You’ll find that we’re not all like this.

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7

Depends on the company you keep… innit mariah

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8

Pilot, I dont hang out with guys from London, thats why I asked if its true, get it?

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It was forwarded in an E-mail.

9

Salam

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wow mariah, I got this email this morning too!!! but hey u only posted the second part of the email, and to be seen to do justice, the first part is posted here

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this is for the bwoys:

THIS E-MAIL PARTICULARLY APPLIES TO THOSE WHO HAVE EVER RESIDED AT COLLEGE, HALLS OR LIVED IN THE VICINITIES OF SOME PLACE CALLED HARROW!!

Asian’s from LOnDon…

The Girls

1.Noticeably play around with your hair when they see a fit guy.
They neaten it all out with a stroke of the hand - in fact u just made it go all static.

2.Have a rather large selection of black jeans and black tops with blackcoats. Those that believe they are particularly cool wear
long black leather coats - trying to give it the Alliyah look which went out ages ago. [Typical]

3.Speaking of clothes… some refuse to wear nothing else but designer clothes that are blatantly visible to a blind person… the word SAD springs to mind.

4.All have mobile phones. This is not a bad thing, but they have been known to whip the phone out at any given opportunity to

show that someone actually cares about what they are talking about. Face it u all chat bollocks.

5.They do not like to go out with other Asian girls

who are more pretty
than they are - reduces their chances of success. Two
good Asian
female friends should not bitch about the other behind
their back -
common problem.

6.Have exhausted the word ‘innit’.

7.Refuse to dance to anything other than soul, swing
and hip
hop - because they don’t know how to.

8.Speaking of dancing… many think they are good at
it, but
in reality,never move their feet from the same spot!!

9.Whenever they are in a large group, they feel the
need to
stare menacingly at other Asian girls… especially
if they look
better than they do. In other words they screw @ other
gals
which look prettier…SAD

10.Dance in circles at all parties and clubs…if
they dance @ all!

11.Some pretend to care a great deal about
religion… if
that was the case, why do so many smoke, drink and do
other
things that cant be mentioned here ?? SLAGS..

12.Have straight or wavy brown hair with highlights.
For
optimal coolness,some Asian girls are now streaking
theirs red…oh
dear sooo true!

13.Will always see one in a Nissan Micra in
Southall and
the surrounding area.

14.Will always know someone just to get a discount for
anything.

15.Pretty girls go out with ugly guys, as they know
he; will
not give her hassle, is always good for a lift and
paying at the bar.

16.Are not allowed out after 5.30pm and if they are,
they have
to be back by 8pm latest. Yes this also applies to
many who
are over 20.

17.Are Commonly married by the age of 15.

18.Most Indian girls have skinny legs and fat asses,
childbearing hips, cellulite thighs, etc…but think
they are god’s
gift.

19.Why do so many Asian girls have attitude for no
reason.

20.Most Asian girls are obsessed with money and 'My
man’s got …
whats yours got?" [NOT!!!]

21.They hug all friends for like ten hours even though

they spoke to them last night!

Buildings burn, people die, but true love, true love lasts forever…

10

In response 2 ur rubbish:

1.Noticeably play around with your hair when they see a fit guy. They neaten it all out with a stroke of the hand - in fact u just made it go all static.

I’m 4ever playing with my hair … but that doesn’t mean that i’m trying 2 impress a guy … its just a subconscious thing … like the way u guys 4get 2 put the tiolet seat back down.

2.Have a rather large selection of black jeans and black tops with blackcoats.

U forgot 2 mention the small denim jackets !!!

3.Speaking of clothes… some refuse to wear nothing else but designer clothes

And men dont ??? Besides i don’t own a single item of designer clothing as i refuse to advertise some1 elses name.

4.All have mobile phones. This is not a bad thing, but they have been known to whip the phone out at any given opportunity to
show that someone actually cares about what they are talking about.

I could be accused of doing that … what can i say??? I was one of the first pple 2 have an 8210 and i enjoyed boasting about it … but now its kinda old so i need 2 start looking again …

5.Have exhausted the word ‘innit’.

I refuse to use it.

6.Whenever they are in a large group, they feel the need to stare menacingly at other Asian girls …

True Dat. U should have seen some of the stares me and my sisters were getting in Star City yesterday … If looks could kill !!!

7.Some pretend to care a great deal about
religion… if that was the case, why do so many smoke, drink and do other things that cant be mentioned here ?? SLAGS..

I don’t smoke or drink, and i care a great deal about my religion so there goes that argument. Lets not even mention all the guys that i saw yesterday who were pissed out of tehir heads and as high as hell … carrying around Pakistani flags on a muslim festival - does that make them Male Slags ???

8.Have straight or wavy brown hair with highlights. For optimal coolness,some Asian girls are now streaking theirs red…oh dear sooo true!

Yep mines long and straight, but its not highlighted - wrong again. I actually wanted blue streaks but my parents wouldn’t allow it.

9.Will always see one in a Nissan Micra in Southall and the surrounding area.

Can’t drive. Never been 2 Southall.

10.Are not allowed out after 5.30pm and if they are, they have to be back by 8pm latest. Yes this also applies to many who are over 20.

In that case i must be way past my curfew cuz i’m over 20 and its past 8 … Uh Oh I’m in trouble !!!

11.Are Commonly married by the age of 15.

I’m not - not even hooked up.

12.Most Indian girls have skinny legs and fat asses, childbearing hips, cellulite thighs, etc…but think they are god’s gift.

And all men have six packs rite ???

13.Why do so many Asian girls have attitude for no reason.

Cuz we need to make up for Asian mens inferriority complex.

14.Most Asian girls are obsessed with money and 'My man’s got … whats yours got?" [NOT!!!]

Not necessarily. I’m a student, and still a whole lot richer than most the Asian guys that i know (as most r on the dole)

21.They hug all friends for like ten hours even though they spoke to them last night!

Helps spread love - cuz lets face it … we cant get any off paki men !!!

Any more ??? Keep them coming at the usual address

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.

11

Sad but true. Sad but true, dear Sadi.