So this has been cropping up quite a few times…and i have been meaning to raise the question here..
Girls’ rishta problems…its all around the forum…even the guy’s experience thread was filled with girl’s problems…
However, a very important thing is the involvement of guy’s sisters, mother,(bhabis sometimes), cousins, aunts etc getting involved in the rishta process…in fact in most of the arranged marriages its the women in guy’s family who do most of the talking/searching/exploring/interaction…
**So, all you guppans, have anyone of you been involved in the process for any guy in your family?
How has been your experience, and what goes on… what issues do you face from the guy family’s perspective when looking for a girl for your brother etc… ?**
PS: Please share your perspective only representing the guy’s family… many a thread have taken the same turn “this guy’s rishta came for me/my sister…and his mother/sister/bhabi were acting bla bla bla” Please don’t quote such instances…thanks
Re: Guy's female family member's rishta experience
Well different things work for different people and its ok as long as it is done in a respectful manner. I guess the men ask the women to take charge in initial stages of rishta because they perhaps find it odd asking detail about the girl and I would assume it is done out of respect.
Personally speaking, i never liked being part of the whole selecting your bhabi thing. I felt odd even though we rarely went through the typical rishta arrangements, it was usually someone introduced by family/friend.
What i observed was that people trying to present theirself very far off from what they truly were like and i believe they are not only doing the other person wrong but being harmful for their own self too. One must try to be as natural as possible because remember you can't carry on your life in pretence so why trick yourself and the other in a situation where you may not be compatiable due to the show you put on? And honestly, i understand there is too much pressure on looking attractive and appealing but girls need to understand there is a difference between looking presentable and looking like a pastry. And since it is obviously a uncomfortable spot for the girl to literally be exhibited in the room, its always wise to actually have as few people in the room as possible and please don't ask her to serve!
Re: Guy's female family member's rishta experience
So this has been cropping up quite a few times......and i have been meaning to raise the question here..
Girls' rishta problems........its all around the forum........even the guy's experience thread was filled with girl's problems......
However, a very important thing is the involvement of guy's sisters, mother,(bhabis sometimes), cousins, aunts etc getting involved in the rishta process........in fact in most of the arranged marriages its the women in guy's family who do most of the talking/searching/exploring/interaction.......
**So, all you guppans, have anyone of you been involved in the process for any guy in your family?
How has been your experience, and what goes on......... what issues do you face from the guy family's perspective when looking for a girl for your brother etc..... ?**
PS: Please share your perspective only representing the guy's family........ many a thread have taken the same turn "this guy's rishta came for me/my sister.....and his mother/sister/bhabi were acting bla bla bla" Please don't quote such instances.......thanks
Good question which is based on flipped side of a coin.
Re: Guy's female family member's rishta experience
From personal experience WE as a family didn't do too much exploring coz generally we do Rishta in khandan ..so we generally know about the ifs and the buts about girl. and since my family is pretty open minded so once my brothers were shown the girl and once they agreed upon marrying (willingly of course) and then chatt mangi patt biyah :D ho gaya.
Same goes with my mamuz ..in fact the larki walas liked them ..they proposed to the larkaz and everyone agreed.