guy-phobia

[system]

Re: guy-phobia

^ hahaha… Good so that has nothing to with this thread but because of of my aweful looks. :k:

[PyariCgudia]

Re: guy-phobia

Yep. Basically. I thought your nose was too small for your face. And you don't have pretty eyes. :D

[system]

Re: guy-phobia

How could you forget about that huge mole jutting out of my forehead that looked like Hamid Karzai?

[system]

Re: guy-phobia

pcg was shamying

[Miss_Mohabbat]

Re: guy-phobia

@Ira

Why is this so? why does in our pakistani society, its considered “bad” to speak to or know guys? Even just as friends, what is morally, ethically wrong with it? I see that alot, in my day to day personal life. “Larkoun say baat karnay wali larkian achi nahi hotein etc etc”. And I dont mean even mean meeting people outside univ or work. I just mean my friends from Pak/Oman etc who I can only talk to online.
I dont think talking to a guy, any guy is going to hurt me in any way, since most of my friends are guys and they are wonderful, super nice people. Then why should I shun away from them?

Any ideas?

I used to tell my daddi all the naughty things my girl mates used to do and therefor would influence me to do the same, in the end she told me not to talk or play for that matter, with girls. All my guy mates were either white or black, and that, for some reason was more acceptable than asian guy mates.

[Femme_Fatale]

Re: guy-phobia

@Verizon

You should spend some time in Pakistan and you’ll see what I am talking about. Go infront of a girls college and there are lines of cars waiting and they aint the parents its the guys looking at girls and waiting for that one little moment be it a quick harmless smile or a “hanh ji”. There is also a saying in Pkaistan “Jo huns hgye wo phuns gye”

haha. Very true. Whats funnier is that the many of the girls are kissing other girls within the college bounderies.

[Ira]

Re: guy-phobia

Thanks for the replies, both useful and useless :D

MQ: I understand being protective and all, but how is this being helpful when i want to talk to a guy who has sent a rishta. It doesnt help me make a decision when I am not able to get to know him. I guess I am too modernized that way. I was actually thinking what I would do if my daughter was the one in the situation. And as of right now, I think I want to give her a chance to experience the people in this world. I dont know if thats who i will feel when I have a daughter but atleast thats how i feel now.

The rest of ya: Thanks for your replies. I suppose thats the only explanation, that parents are protective? I remember going out on my own a few years ago and being so shy and naive, i had a hard time adjusting to that, with my parents not there to "protect" me all the time. I wouldnt want my own kids to go through that. I wish my parents had prepared me more for the outside world.

I wish it was only easier to tell your parents that you dont need them to protect you all the time. Some things you gotta learn on your own? Or is it, that they worry about the wat ifs. In that case, are the wat ifs more important then the rest of my life? I dont think so.

[Ira]

Re: guy-phobia

@Femme Fatale

haha. Very true. Whats funnier is that the many of the girls are kissing other girls within the college bounderies.

The guys lined up outside the colleges i understand but girls kissing girls! Woh bhi Pakistan main??Damn!!! and EEWWWWWWWWWWWW!

[Femme_Fatale]

Re: guy-phobia

Yes Ira. We had lots such girls who were more bi-sexual than they realised. They would fantasize about men but till they get there hands on one they would make do with eachother. Anyone having been in an all-girls or all-boys hostel/college will have a tale or two to tell ATLEAST.

Ira tell me how you get around it all? How do you handle it?

[system]

Re: guy-phobia

FF, Now I understand why we never got to meet. ;)

[Femme_Fatale]

Re: guy-phobia

Yes Matty you're not woman enough for me!

[system]

Re: guy-phobia

Aapkey liye…it is almost a religious duty to convert.

[system]

Re: guy-phobia

FF, maybe they should add to the variety of thailas infront of girl’s college..amrood wala, sitay wala, ice cream wala and then some chumioN wala. I’m sure many guys would buy 10 rupay ki chumiaN on their way home.

Ira, you should talk to people without worrying too much about their gender. I don’t see why you should be holding back. Generally, desi girls tend to get less reserved as they age…good for them.

[Ira]

Re: guy-phobia

FF, sometimes my techniques work, sometimes i dont even argue with my parents and just let it be. They know i have guy friends whom i talk to online but as long as i dont speak over the phone, meet them etc etc its “somewhat” ok. I had an elementary school friend of mine ( who is married) passing by my city and I wasnt allowed to meet him. I was furious! But i didnt press on the issue that much. But when it comes to keeping in touch with friends online, as long as i dont talk abt it at home, its kinda ok.

Thats another thing that makes me mad: why shouldnt i be able to talk abt my friends at home? I mean thats exactly wat they are. If i wanted to hook up with them, i couldve done it a long time ago. Not everyone is a creep. Why is it such a bad thing, why oh why?

[Femme_Fatale]

Re: guy-phobia

Ira I can sooooo sooooo soooorelate to all this. And the lamest reason...we trust you, we don;t trust others! Utter BS. They think people are just waiting for us to step out on our own so they can let it all loose! I have been in the worst of arguments with my mother over the past 2 weeks. We didn't even talk for a whole day. They just don't understand...they refuse to understand. I'm losing my cool at work now. I should take a break.

[LuxuryItem]

Re: guy-phobia

@saimanyc

I think it’s generally assumed that girls and guys can never truly be platonic especially in our culture.

Editor of Cosmo (a woman) appeared on a morning show a couple of days ago discussing the same subject matter. She was warning women and wives to watch out for husbands’ female friends. Her point: These things don’t always remain platonic. So, apprently this fear transcends cultural boundaries and is not just limited to “ours”.

[saimanyc]

Re: guy-phobia

@LuxuryItem

Editor of Cosmo (a woman) appeared on a morning show a couple of days ago discussing the same subject matter. She was warning women and wives to watch out for husbands’ female friends. Her point: These things don’t always remain platonic. So, apprently this fear transcends cultural boundaries and is not just limited to “ours”.

Sure, but I’m speaking from my own perspective and experience. I know many gorays whose parents are fine with platonic friendships but my dad always said, “Guys only have one thing on their minds”. From my parent’s perspective they were protecting me. But a goray parents may feel that their kids have to live and learn on their own even if they get hurt or make mistakes along the way. Our parents believe so much more in terms of keeping girls pure because girls keep the honour and reputation of the family. Haven’t we all heard enough of honour killings because a young girl is in love with a guy that her parents haven’t arranged her to marry? This doesn’t happen in non-Desi families.

[Brute]

Re: guy-phobia

great thread - but whats the outcome, ladies talking to men in our culture is a taboo, its very ironic - literally it kills all the confidence of a person - especially ladies and really shows its dark face later in life.

and saimanyc is more like on my frequency.