Re: Gupshup Bored Wives.
muslima21, that is a little bit presumptious to say that the people who aren't housewives/home all day getting dressed up for their husband aren't thinking about Allah(swt) and the akhirah.
Why can't women have other activities but both the husband and wife be there for each other after a long day of activities/work/ibadah and still lighten the other's mood and greet them with a smile/happiness? It isn't mutually exclusive, imho.
Re: Gupshup Bored Wives.
Thanks, PyariCgudia 
I just get a bit frustrated when I read a thread called “bored wives”. I just feel that Pakistani women in this generation have so many more opportunities than our mothers’ generation, and yet some of them choose to take advantage of the education/skill advancement offered to them, even up to a graduate level - yet then do not take that valuable knowledge/training and use it to contribute back into the economy or at the very least - our own Pakistani communities. Those who have studied education/education reform will understand some of the themes I am discussing from studies on immigrant communities and education.
As I said above…I understand there are some exceptions with mothers and small children, etc, who don’t have the time right now. In any case, I don’t know if my post is inspiring - but I myself am inspired by other women who keep “busy” their entire lives by constantly trying to better themselves and the world around them.
Re: Gupshup Bored Wives.
^ I absolutely agree. It's our duty to be role models, and therefore we need to be active. Being passive can become very problematic, and also shows a certain degree of thanklessness for what has been given to you.
Re: Gupshup Bored Wives.
I think some people just want the easy way out. I mean, most girls who do higher education, do find it tough (anyone does, even guys - I mean it takes motivation to study at the graduate level - even undergraduate can get tough for those in tough programs). So, its sort of like "Oh gosh, I would take marriage and sitting at home over this", since its easier. Which I honestly do think it is, from the point of view of a student or a busy career-oriented woman.
But what gets me is not that women are sitting at home. By all means, take care of your families. What gets me is that some girls will go all out to get educated, do so much hard work, and then just leave it all the minute the ring gets on the finger, because "who cares, I don't have to work anymore". It just shows they were not sincere about educating themselves in the first place. And an education not used is an education wasted.
Re: Gupshup Bored Wives.
not necessarily, education challenges your mind, open up your thinking so it is useful in all aspects of life. There is a zameen asmaan ka difference between an educated girl and uneducated.
Re: Gupshup Bored Wives.
^ That is true. So not entirely wasted, perhaps. But it would have made me happier to see someone use their education, ESPECIALLY if its specialized education that allows you to do something that not many others know how to do.
Re: Gupshup Bored Wives.
dont worry PCG I will use my education...but I intend to work part time so I can actually ENJOY life rather than work all the time. insha-allah I will be completing my final year now....and after 1 year training....its up to me what days I want to work or not....cuz its a very flexible job....being as I want to do locum work.
however, working part time ....I can still be home before him and I can still "wait for him" ....and meeting him would be the happiest part of my day (even though I would meet a million other people/patients in the day)....nothing is more important than seeing him
and you are right....I have put alot of work into my degree...and its one of the hardest courses around...my fiance has left it totally up to me if i want to work or not.....he doesnt mind either way....but whatever I do earn is just mine....cuz he says its his duty to earn for the family and he doesnt want me to contribute to that....because there's no need.
like I have said before, considering my age....alot of people say I have achieved alot for my age....I will insha-allah continue to do this in the future....but my husband and family will always be first for me.....and most important..(even though I have many other interests too)
Re: Gupshup Bored Wives.
^ That is much better to hear. Good for you!
Re: Gupshup Bored Wives.
its the same as what I initially said :)
seeing him would still be the highlight of my day :)
Re: Gupshup Bored Wives.
But what gets me is not that women are sitting at home. By all means, take care of your families. What gets me is that some girls will go all out to get educated, do so much hard work, and then just leave it all the minute the ring gets on the finger, because "who cares, I don't have to work anymore". It just shows they were not sincere about educating themselves in the first place. And an education not used is an education wasted.
So why do you think they go through the work in the first place? I definitely agree that it is better to have an education than not to have one at all. However, like you, I also know many Pakistani women who do what you mentioned - study for graduate level education(sometimes even specialized training like med/law) and then don't do anything with it after getting married, even though they do not have children yet. I also have many Pakistani friends who were so ambitious and talked about making a difference in society - yet when they got married, they became apathetic and lackadaisical with respect to those ambitions. It is like a switch turned off and post-married life just didn't include any of those ambitions. So, my question is, did those women toil through grad school or their respective careers while they were single just to pass the time until they got married? I would really hate to think that was the reason.
Being married myself, I know that priorities change once you are married; however, I can't imagine not using my degrees/career experience just because I am not single anymore. I just don't understand why Pakistani women don't understand that cooking/cleaning isn't the optimal use of their skills/talent - that they can contribute in more of a meaningful way by using those specialized skills to benefit society.
I just feel that if you have the right partner in life - then that partner would encourage their wives to use their education towards a more meaningful purpose than domestic duties - at the very least until they have kids. It has nothing to do with the fact that seeing each other is/isn't the "highlight of your day" - or that you are not happy to see them when you do come home...it just means you are using the time in between in a more constructive manner.
Re: Gupshup Bored Wives.
^I agree :)
Re: Gupshup Bored Wives.
me 3
Re: Gupshup Bored Wives.
Diva, the most devastating thing you can do to your social life is to use internet BBs for time passing or as social outlet :D Mostly it's not fulfilling but rather gets desparating or despairing. There are many internet groups which are actually geared towards meeting people offline with similiar backgrounds or interests. May be you can start your own group and meet other like housewives for social get-togethers/activities etc. Couple of my friends when moved out of town found good friendships/activity partners through such meet-ups and now have expanded social circle in the city where they did not even know anyone at first.
I know this other who simply put a message on craigs list to meet other like couples in the area who were new to area or wanted to expand their social circle and met many wonderful other couples so may be you can find another housewife with kid who is in similiar situation and your kid will also have another kid to play with :)
Re: Gupshup Bored Wives.
the fact that you have to go out of your way to praise this poster, not to mention that you also managed to put it out there that you are not that poster makes me highly suspicious that you are indeed the poster above. 
atlanta runs away with his magnifying glass to solve more cyber-crime
Re: Gupshup Bored Wives.
lolz
Re: Gupshup Bored Wives.
:whistling twiddles thumbs......
No, just kidding, actually, pcg and I are not one and the same.....believe it or not, we're two distinct people who agree on something to some extent..... I know that is a shocker on a desi forum....:)