ok.. ive just been talking to a friend who is a gujrati and we were discussing some stuff and he pointed out how our cultures are slightly different..
like for example.. his parents and grandparents generation , the women didnt get married young.. they waited till they got degrees and stuff but he says “my” (as in me) culture is different… they didnt care about education
how true is that?
note: pls no racist remarks
Thats not true Saddzz..I am muslim...but i come from a gujurati hindu family and well...my mother wasnt even allowed to finish college..she got married at 20 and that was that. my other aunt got married when she was 18 without even finishing college also. my grandmother got married when she was 9..but that was back then. so its in our culture too...but i think nowadays..indian women as a whole are rebelling against it, and the men (atleast the upper and middle class) don't want any part of a senseless tradition that doesnt allow women to persue their dreams and careers. I don't know about the pakistani culture, and how they look at women and education, but I know Islam promotes education for women, and as much as they want to persue. Bengali women have it best, atleast the middle and upper class, i don't there has ever been a time when they weren't encouraged to study more and put off marriage until they are ready, thats why they come off to be the most educated and confident women in India. Thats my take on it.
its personal circumstances ,country of residence , how deeply religious or traditional people are and a bit of Kismat .
as It is considered to be a major responsibility in Islam to marry off your daughter so parents become pushy to get the deed done or else they might be left on the shelf.
Shelf life complex is not really an islamic thing sweetness.
I know so many gujuratis, its different for all of them, they are as diverse as we are.
No, it isn’t a Gujrati thing, Sadzzz. Your friend is making a gross generalization. We’re Punjabis from Chakwal and in my family there is a very broad spectrum. My mom had completed her typical BA in Pakistan, married my dad who was completing his MA in the US, and so she came to this country. She was all of 19 or 20, and 21 when she had me (I’m the first-born).
Some of my female cousins are extremely well-educated and were so busy studying that they’d keep rejecting rishtas in hopes of better ones; one is still unmarried (in Pakistan) even though she is in her late 30s, possibly early 40s. She now regrets having not married.
Me…another example…after a brief stint at engagement-hood at age 24 which didn’t work out due to me not wanting to relocate to a foreign land, I have been looking for a decent man as well (and still searching) but in the process have completed an MBA while working professionally in a field I enjoy. I have no regrets. I have had, with parents’ support and encouragement, a chance to become educated, pursue and enjoy my career, and basically enjoy the single life doing as single people do without having to worry about ‘your other half’ (as would be the case if I was married right now). Now though at almost 30 (I know the age is getting to worry me nowadays…hehehe), and only now, I am very much looking forward to meeting that special person, getting married soon (insh’allah), and starting a family. What more can a girl ask for that I haven’t gotten already? I thank God for giving me the opportunities in life and not having parents who don’t appreciate the value of education and of their own children.
