Guilt: that sacred treasure of all Asian parents. Where would they be without it!
I for one think that guilt tripping is too rampant in Asian society and maybe one day I’ll get the chance to break that cycle with my own children.
What do you think of guilt, what are your most extreme experiences?
Mine: I rejected a cousin to marry, one of the many reasons being that his mother is crazy. She later developed some unconnected health problems and I was told: “There you go, now you should be happy. You didn’t want her as a saas and now she’ll probably die.”
Athens_bride...dont feel bad. I rejected SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many potential rishtas because I didnt feel they were right for me. My parents started to feel bad because they would have to make the rejection phone call every single time. I would get a huge lecture about how serious I should be about marriage and all that. And there were times I started to feel guilty. But, why am I going to settle? Im very happy single and if Im going to marry, its going to be to the right person otherwise I wont. Simple.
What do you think of guilt, what are your most extreme experiences?
Mine: I rejected a cousin to marry, one of the many reasons being that his mother is crazy. She later developed some unconnected health problems and I was told: "There you go, now you should be happy. You didn't want her as a saas and now she'll probably die."
I rejected all of the cousins, but last rejection was daughter of my mum's brother.... now we have bad family terms with them since then, my mums brother(who is very very dear to my mum) dont see her much, and mami doesnt let both families have any contact, the cousins from that family now been brain washed to hate us for life :( and all this guilt... of splitting the families and my mum loosing her brother .. is on to me!!! specified when there is function in the family... and tussle to go or not to go or attend that of this. even if i try its not all my fault.. deep down my mum is not convinced. but behavior of my mums brother.... and others changed drastically since all got married ...
I despise such relatives who only meet you for reasons. I gladly meet and socialise with friends and families who see you meet you cause they like you and mix up witout underlying reasons and such relationships are stronger than relatives.
so I dont have guilt about it. my decision stands correct as cousins are not compatible with me and vice versa me for them, its proved now as life passed and explained itself.