Re: Guidance on Avoiding/Dealing with a Relative
My marhooma dadi used to say ‘gand ko gand se nahin pani se saaf kiya jata hai’. I don’t know what was behind this philosophy. She was not well versed with the meaning of Quran and hadees. She used to recite Quran every morning but in Arabic, but she kept on repeating this in different phrases like ‘jis daali main phal hota hai, wo ziada jhukti hai’.
There are incidents in Prophet’s life when he kept on trying to change the heart of those who were his bitter enemy. You might know that hypocrisy is a very detailed subject in Quran, but the Prophet never named any hypocrite or behave with them differently to feel others that those people were hypocrite. I don’t remember the name of Sahabi to whom Prophet revealed names of such hypocrites and instruct him not to reveal names to anyone. During Hazrat Omar (RA) caliphate, he invited that sahabi and insisted to tell names, but he denied as instructed. Finally, Hazrat Omar asked if his name was included in the last, to which he replied ‘No’.
This all indicates that one should be very much careful in dealing with all kind of people. Hearts can change at any time and good behavior is the best tool.