During ramadhan, we’ve being having some family friends join us for iftari… whilst on some occasions this has been enjoyable, like a 2 headed coin it can also have its repercussions, let me explain:
last week some family friends we haven’t seen in a while joined us for iftari, the adults attended bringing too their children (4), whilst one expects a dinner event to be for a few hours, what was to transpire was something i dont want a repeat performance any time soon..
the dinner was great (as usual) which then lead me to get ready for taraveeh, after my return from prayers; the time now being approx 9.30 our guests had been at our place for almost 4 hours.
I some what surprised they had not yet left, made myself a hot drink and left for my room to relax and watch tv. an hour or so later i’m getting ready for bed but the noise the small children were making was preventing me from doing so.
i return to our living room quarters and could see from the site on my my mum’s face when i walked in she looked tired, so too was the woman guest who attended, her husband on the other hand was chatting away like there was no tomorrow with my dad also meeting him half way… i stood by the door for a moment, hoping he would notice and read between the lines and understand it was getting late and leave.
But no, they eventually left 1.00 in the morning, spending an incredible 8 hours at our place, i overheard one of the small kids saying they were tired and if they could bunk here for the night, not that i had a problem with that, being we have 8 bedrooms and there was space aplenty, but the women guest being understanding gathered her children and they left, once out the door i had a word with my parents saying if the expect to have so called friends like these over again, let me know in advance so i can make appropriate arrangements.
hmmm gosh that sucks.. usually when we were younger we used to stay at our friends house like till 12 or 1 but we were close friends..
I know i remember once in a while we get some guests like that.. who have younger children and they just run around and the parents really dont care, thats really annoying.. but everyone has so much to do these days soo no one really stays long. .
U wud never c non-desis do this… yes desis r known for their hospitality, but 8 hrs is too much!! I also hate when they call and say “oh we’re coming/can we come”… when my dad was here a lotta ppl wud do that n my poor mom wud hav to stay in the kitchen and cook an amazing salan in 1-2 hrs. In fakt, one time, they came over achanak se and she had salan, rice, rotis and of coruse chutney and when she went over ot their house, they barely served Tea… N on the other hand I can’t stand those who just come for a minute and leave… i think iftaari, namaz, maybe an hour or so of dinner and chitchat should be enough.. but I think we’re lucky coz we’re not in that position that we hav to entertain guests (tho i will be one day ) and we can thus complain… what wud u do in that situation? tell em to go home???
wow some ppl just dont know when to leave!!
personally when i go to someone's house for iftar i leave right after dinner because i dont want to be responsible for making one miss their taraweeh namaz. Also, everyone has to get up early for sehri so of course they are going to be tired if they spend the entire night with guests. I just think that it is common curteousy to leave one's house ASAP especially during Ramadan.
I know how to kick someone out of my house :D
everyone leaves for taravi together :d start closing the lights and grab the keys wear jackets and start walking....
well ghar aye mehmaan ko bura nahi kehtay.. yaar aik baar hogaya.. tou kiya howa? I know a family friend who visited us at 11pm at night and would leave around 2 pm .. my mom always used to say kay ghar aye mehmaan ko bura nahi kehtay.. and i got so used to it.. that i used to enjoy their company.. it was like a weekend get together.. the uncle was the most honest down-to-earth guy and it was a true rehmat of Allah.. khair.. everyone is different..
They must have a different schedule, the stay up till sehri types. That's fine but there is something called consideration for others which unfortunately is missing in many aspects of our society.
I've faced this type of thing a few times too. The politest way to handle would be to say wow, I didnt realize its so late. Everyone must be bone tired now, why dont you stay over? Here, I can show you to the guest room and get you settled in for the night.
Oh boy we used to have this problem too! We had this aunt who always showed up without notice during week day evenings and stayed for hours, going around the house into everyones room, see what they’re doing, and then ask personal questions. We still get this problem occasionaly. The best way is to mention the time (oh its 11pm!), yawn, look tired in the hope they have the brains and deceny to notice and acknowledge it.
Unfortunately after all the hospitality you show, so many of these backward desis still lack manners
You also get guests who bring like their entire khandaan with them. I mean, like 2-3 vans full of 50 kids, cousins, distant aunts and people you never knew existed
Hopefully others here will have more hints how to get rid of them.
During ramzaan people should be much more considerate. Firstly the rozaydaar must be tired, second people need to pray their namaz, and during this month we shouldn't be sitting around chit-chatting.
I have come to realise that in ramzaan its better not to have these fancy dinners at all - can be a complete waste of time. However, we send food to our neighbours, and they send too, which I think is much better.
in my family we have a tradition of getting guests over night sometimes but that doesn't mean that we have to stay up till late at night, most of the guests are very unbderstanding in this regard and every body retires early to their bedrooms at the usual time. Unless it's my freind or cousins who are very close to me, in that case we stay up the whole night long and enjoy it too.
hey ite depends on the people and your terms with them, I have pals who will come over before iftaar and help with iftaar and hang out till late. and even at other times of the year we would hang out till late, some would leave early, I mean in theg end it is your schedule and how close u are. I enjoy their company and its good to spend more time with them.
I also hate when they call and say “oh we’re coming/can we come”… when my dad was here a lotta ppl wud do that n my poor mom wud hav to stay in the kitchen and cook an amazing salan in 1-2 hrs. In fakt, one time, they came over achanak se and she had salan, rice, rotis and of coruse chutney 
and when she went over ot their house, they barely served Tea… 
N on the other hand I can’t stand those who just come for a minute and leave… i think iftaari, namaz, maybe an hour or so of dinner and chitchat should be enough.. but I think we’re lucky coz we’re not in that position that we hav to entertain guests (tho i will be one day 
) and we can thus complain… what wud u do in that situation? tell em to go home???
