I really like the idea of informal dinners. where you invite your guests, they stand around the kitchen with drinks and help you prepare, i.e. cut the bread, make the salad, rub down the steak with herbs, assemble the lasagna. Every desi dinner I have been to has had the woman slaving away in the kitchen looking like a mess with stress etched on her face, preparing for dozens of people. Where’s the fun in that? Can’t conversation be carried out while your guests help you prepare dinner? Isn’t that more intimate and fun a setting?
When I proposed that to my mother, she said it would be rude and would lack hospitality. But I find it inhospitable and rude to expect one woman to make the typical 6 dishes that desi khanas have. And men should be involved too, right there in the kitchen. Unless you are making something like haleem, desi food can be made in half an hour or so, so why don’t people do this? Even if the food does take a long time, why not just feed them appetizers or something light until the main course gets ready?
Good luck with that, atleast your mom considers it my mom thinks these ideas are absurd. She freaks out at the idea of men helping in the kitchen. And desis, ooo forget it! When we have family dinners, me n my mom are the only ones cooking. When I used to have chand raat parties at my house, I was doing most of the work(some friends did help out) and especially the clean-up, I would be DEAD on eid morning. Now I just dont have the time to deal with it anymore.
But with my really close friends we have set up days where we got together cooked, ate and watched movies. They are married now though :(
Well, whenever we are invited to some dinner party, I always go to the kitchen and ask the hostess if there's anything I could do. I feel no shame in arranging table with them or cook something as well.
I don't know which desi people consider it rude to help out ...over here people always make a point to ask the hostess if they need help otherwise its considered rude.
I am not talking about helping out. I am talking about cooking together - the whole event being the conversation around the kitchen island rather than the dining room table. Yes, even with new acquaintances.
it would seem a bit cuckoo to invite ppl over for dinner and then expect them to cook with u .... dinner is usually ready by the time the guests arrive.. and after some drinks.. mom and i go into the kitchen to get ready to serve and usually women follow us to the kitchen and ask to help out.. with maybe warming the food, puttin into serving dishes.. maybe put the dressin in the salad.. then help with cleaning up the table... but that is it... no heavy duty cookin with guests...
p.s) if ure inviting ppl over for dinner... and ure plannin on cookin with the guests.. when will the food be ready and when will it be served?!
You (and your friends) cook as you talk, watch tv, hang out and have a good time.
it's one big party :D
You can do that w/ girlfriends or guys with their guy friends (kind of like bbq'ing together) but when you invite a mix gathering over then it is hard to say come around 5 pm folks because we'll all be cooking together :D It is an idea which would be sort of hard for desis to swallow. I can already see all the aunties going haaaayeee meray kapray! I know I wouldn't wear nice stuff to someone's house if I was invited to cook food w/ them :p There is no way I can handle a dupatta and a daigchi at the same time lol
Sarah, that's how it happens in Pakistan anyway, my cousins and friends always used to help us out with dinners n all. it just depends on how comfortabkle one is with certain ppl.
Its a marvelous trend. I've been lucky growing up with family and friends close enuf to do so in Pak or here. Masha Allah I've a big family so when ever there is a gathering, everyone contributes. But when the men are taking over, its even much fun to see them chop the onions/tomatoes and make Chicken Karai, or bbq. Now that I'm married, we're more invested into friends which don't mind a simple meal just for the sake of a meet up over the weekend. But now ofcourse I make a couple'a nice dishes. But thats true when it comes to desis, they are all into formality. I always offer to take salad or desert though along into the dinner party, and can't sit up all stiff without offering to help out in the kitchen, I think me and Sadaf are made up of similar stuff :)
